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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum STILL self-isolating

306 replies

Mumofteens4892 · 29/11/2023 10:19

My 70yr old mum has chronic asthma and is still self isolating from COVID. I'm actually pissed off that she's not coming for Christmas for the 4th xmas in a row. She lives on her own. She lives 5 miles away and we never see her.

AIBU to be utterly fed up?

Her immune system will no doubt pick up any bug going, after so long not going in shops or seeing anyone at all, so she has a good point, and it would be awful if she caught something from us at xmas, but where do we go from here?

OP posts:
lljkk · 02/12/2023 19:55

OP, do you think it would help your mom if she learned about other people with a similar risk profile (age 70 with a chronic lung condition...) who have decided it's ok to not play things perfectly safe and to go out & socialise & shop etc? I have a feeling nothing else will convince your mom. She must like this lifestyle or find it reassuring.

My parents were terrified, still scared of covid, but they also hated being socially isolated. Couldn't sustain it.

One of my aunts (now age 71) developed sarcopenia from barely going out in 2020-21. This is her real health problem now. Aunt didn't have anything else bad in her history, mild stroke and BCC when she was about 50, I suppose.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 03/12/2023 12:29

mumatlast14 · 02/12/2023 19:31

So a very simple solution to protect everyone's health would be for everyone to wear ffp3/2 in healthcare and people to be allowed to take support when needed.
Yet from your comment that you'd only wear one if compulsory you actually don't care about other vulnerable people that may be in the healthcare setting or protecting the staff to help ensure that staff aren't made ill and the impact that has on appointments. Nice.

I had a hospital appointment a couple of weeks ago, no staff were wearing a mask. I went to the dentist this week and again no mask until the actual examination. Surely the staff should be setting an example?* And who's going to pay for the FFP2/3 masks? They aren't as cheap as the blue paper things so should they come out of the NHS budget or would patients be expected to pay for them?

*I was glad they weren't wearing them, it meant I could hear everything clearly and see facial expressions

Lavenderosemary · 03/12/2023 14:39

I've had covid twice, neither time particularly badly. This second time, although the covid passed quickly, it's left me with chest pains and breathing problems and I've been off work for two months so far. Covid is nasty and has gone from overreaction to underreaction in the way we treat it. I can understand why she's hiding, and also that the moment she starts leaving the house now, she's going to lurch from one illness to another for quite some time while her immune system catches up. It won't be nice for her.

CityLass · 03/12/2023 14:57

AnnieSnap · 30/11/2023 20:17

Sounds like your poor mum is very anxious. Covid is such a horrible disease though isn’t it? Not only killing so many, but disabling many more. That said, speaking as an asthmatic, although it’s counter-intuitive, asthma doesn’t leave us especially vulnerable. It turns out that although it’s a respiratory disease in terms of spreading it, when ill with it, the lungs are not the vulnerable organs. Do you think she would be receptive to reviewing the evidence on this with you. How old is she?

You make no sense! You’re saying that it’s a horrible disease but accuse the mother of being anxious? And suggesting “reviewing the evidence”? What for? To encourage her to drop precautions so she can catch the “horrible disease”? Oh my Lordy! Please God, give me strength.

CityLass · 03/12/2023 14:59

Lavenderosemary · 03/12/2023 14:39

I've had covid twice, neither time particularly badly. This second time, although the covid passed quickly, it's left me with chest pains and breathing problems and I've been off work for two months so far. Covid is nasty and has gone from overreaction to underreaction in the way we treat it. I can understand why she's hiding, and also that the moment she starts leaving the house now, she's going to lurch from one illness to another for quite some time while her immune system catches up. It won't be nice for her.

Immunity debt is pseudoscience. It’s complete and utter bollocks.

athingofbeauty · 04/12/2023 01:10

Can you ask her gently if she's acting on her doctor's advice? Is she fully vaccinated against covid and the flu, every year? Does she show any other signs of, well, extreme behaviour? This is indeed very sad, and I say that as one whose DM did die of pneumonia.

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