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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that, mothers that do not even try to breastfeed, are selfish and perhaps lazy?

284 replies

mrsdannydyer · 13/03/2008 10:16

yes i know their will be women that have been sexually abused or have hiv or something, yes there is always, the execption to the rule.
but in gerneral, why do some women not even try?
this really baffles me?

OP posts:
SmartArse · 13/03/2008 10:42

I hated my baby so I didn't breast feed her. In fact, I wanted her to die.

Does that help?

PuppyMonkey · 13/03/2008 10:42

ooh how very gracious of you mrs d

moopymoo · 13/03/2008 10:43

well thats not what you are asking is it? It was not 'why do some women ff' was it ? it was all the 'selfish and lazy' rubbish that means you will not get taken seriously..

PuppyMonkey · 13/03/2008 10:43

Yes me too SmartArse

FioFio · 13/03/2008 10:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JeremyVile · 13/03/2008 10:44

But why do YOU need to understand?
Why do you think anyone would actually feel they need to explain themselves to you?

If you really are interested, look in the archives there are tons of sensible discussions on this.

Though you might want to try the breast/bottle feeing archives rather than AIBU

VictorianSqualor · 13/03/2008 10:49

Mrsdannydyer, did you read my post of Thu 13-Mar-08 10:26:02 at all?
I answered your question there.

People are not given the support, the time, the facilities, the help etc they need to breastfeed, constantly are let down by the health profession supposedly helping them and are bought up believing tits are something to wop out when your fella wants an eyeful.

Of course people aren't going to want to do it!

It's also not as easy as some may think, many people have grown up with formula milk as a way of life, the way babies are fed so of course their immediate reaction will be to use bottles.

Especially if they have no reason to breastfeed.

Yes breast milk is better for baby, but formula is an adequate way to feed a baby, so when faced with the choice if someone doesn't want to breastfeed then it's not like they don't have another option.

Baffy · 13/03/2008 10:50

Read this response:

By Peachy on Thu 13-Mar-08 10:25:50

Doesn't that explain enough??

Joash · 13/03/2008 10:51

YAB (VERY) U

Chequers · 13/03/2008 10:51

Message withdrawn

VictorianSqualor · 13/03/2008 10:53

Oh no Chequers, as long as you put baby to the breast once you're a success, then you can say you tried, nothing else comes into it you know.
(FWIW, You'll get great advice here when baby is born, good luck to you)

NicMac · 13/03/2008 10:54

Mrsdannydyer, really I think you have a vocation as a 'breast friend' counsellor, clearly you are so very understanding

Hulababy · 13/03/2008 10:54

Why do people need to justify their reason to you? Why can you just not accept, as a grown adult and mother (?), that other people are capable of making their own decision and do what THEY FEEL is best for their own baby in their current situation.

Because whilst breast feeding may be best for baby, there are lots of reasons why it may ot be ideal for all mothers, all babies and all situations.

SmartArse · 13/03/2008 10:55

Chequers, it would not make you a bad mother in any way, shape or form. Everyone is different - and a good thing too, or the World would be a very dull place indeed.

Try it - you might get on really well with it. But if you don't, your baby will nonetheless thrive on formula.

I'm too lazy to go back, but as someone pointed out earlier, a happy mother is going to make for a happier baby, so you should do whatever makes you feel most comfortable IMO.

Original poster
mrsdannydyer · 13/03/2008 10:56

pwonk, yes i can see the point that women can feel v uneasy about bf in public, thankyou this was something i hadn't considered.

OP posts:
Chequers · 13/03/2008 10:56

Message withdrawn

ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 10:57

Ohhh FGS

do you know?
whenever I see these thread again I just want to post.

'Ohh FUCK OFF'

maybe from now on I will.

FioFio · 13/03/2008 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Buda · 13/03/2008 11:00

I will LTH

Oh fuck Off (Have never done that on a thread before! .

It is none of your business.

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 11:01

"pwonk, yes i can see the point that women can feel v uneasy about bf in public, thankyou this was something i hadn't considered." - seriously? You hadn;t even considered that? You are prepared to call women who don't try to breast feed their babies as selfish and lazy but you haven't even tried to think of any reasons. Now I'd call that lazy.

I didn't even attempt to breast feed my DS. Never intended to.

VictorianSqualor · 13/03/2008 11:01

Not just in public Mrsdannydyer, the first time I put my baby to the breast I was 19yrs old and my DD had just been born at 32weeks, I was unable to hold her for two weeks and suffered tremendous PND.
I was told by the nurses that she needed breastmilk and was given a room and a pump that looked victorian and left to get on with it.
How many reasons in that scenario can you see to put me off?
Each scenario is different, as is each baby and each mother. We can't blanket them as the same no matter how we want to.
I do understand your point, I just think it's been put across badly, but there is no one reason, there is no right way, there is just your way and the way you as a mother bring up your child.
These type of decisions need to be made with everythign in mind, not just 'I better BF cos otherwise I'm lazy'.

FAQ · 13/03/2008 11:02

hehe - can I join you

Oh fuck off

helenelisabeth · 13/03/2008 11:02

Why do people have to explain their reasons why they decide not to breastfeed? It is nobody else's business but your own how you feed your child. I have BF both my LO but had I not, I would not have felt guilty.

FF your baby is not neglect, it is a choice - if we didn't have that choice there would be a lot of children who were malnourished because some people just CANNOT breastfeed. Formula was designed with this in mind and unfortunately it became a trend. Without good support and advice a lot of people buckle and decide against BF. I always try to support friends who try it but ultimately it is their decision how they feed their baby and I would support their choice to FF as well.

VictorianSqualor · 13/03/2008 11:02

LOL LTH, I did my first 'Oh just piss off' the other day, I then posted straight after apologising

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 11:02

and if anyone were going to persuade me, it wouldn't have been anyone with an attitude like yours.