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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that, mothers that do not even try to breastfeed, are selfish and perhaps lazy?

284 replies

mrsdannydyer · 13/03/2008 10:16

yes i know their will be women that have been sexually abused or have hiv or something, yes there is always, the execption to the rule.
but in gerneral, why do some women not even try?
this really baffles me?

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 13/03/2008 11:18

Lack of support for breastfeeding does make people not try.

In our day-to-day lives we are constantly battered by a stream of sexuality and breasts, they are not seen as baby bits, but as something for men to oggle.

Also how many times have you seen in soaps etc people making derogatory comments about BF?

The reaction from your family when you discuss BFing for the first time will go a long way to whether or not youdecide to try, if they aren't backing you up, it's less likely you'll give it a go.

Breastfeeding isn't the norm anymore than reusable nappies are, and peopel are scared of reactions to soemthing that is different so often won't attemtp it.

You do realise how many people actually try it don't you?
I think it's around 80-90% or something, a lot. People are more likely to try and give up then not try, or try and continue.

Original poster
mrsdannydyer · 13/03/2008 11:18

yes thats a good point faq, i also cannot understand why mums do that, found it hard with the first, didn't work out so with the second, do not even try.
it is crazy. i really do not understand it at all.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 13/03/2008 11:19

maybe the just dont want to just because.

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 11:19

"it truly seems alot of women on this thread at least, simply do not get that."

Actually I think the majority of the women on this thread get that. I think they feel more that you question phrased as it was, was pointlessly judgemental.

Rephrase a new thread as "How can we help improve the number of women breast-feeding their babies" and you'll get a lot of support and some good ideas I'm sure.

Demonising women who don't do as you think they should is a pointless and divisive exercise.

Are you a primary school head teacher in RL?

mrspnut · 13/03/2008 11:20

Who cares whether you understand or not - it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Go back to slagging off the other mothers at toddler group and leave the rest of us alone.

ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 11:21

are you a namechanger?

I see you only started posting 2 days ago.

FAQ · 13/03/2008 11:21

for fucks sake MDD - they don't try with the second because it can be fucking demoralising and heartbreaking to go through all of the feelings of "failure" again.

MascaraOHara · 13/03/2008 11:22

Purely in answer to the thread title..

err no.

And quite frankly that and your opening post in my vho are ridiculously stupid statements.

PuppyMonkey · 13/03/2008 11:23

Just wanted to join in the general "Oh fuck off" from earlier...

Oh fuck off!

There, feel better now...

2shoes · 13/03/2008 11:23

tried with ds..didn't work.
didn't try with dd...(tries to remember why) oh yes she was battling to live at the time so not top on my list of priorities.
in answer to the op.
yabvu and
go shag a sheep

rantinghousewife · 13/03/2008 11:24

And if you really are danny dyers wife, YOU are in no position to judge anyone.

Oliveoil · 13/03/2008 11:25

what a nobboid

TotalChaos · 13/03/2008 11:25

roflpmsl at "go and shag a sheep"

Original poster
mrsdannydyer · 13/03/2008 11:25

vs, You do realise how many people actually try it don't you?
I think it's around 80-90% or something, a lot. People are more likely to try and give up then not try, or try and continue

no i did not realise that, i thought it was nearer 50%-75%
i also take the point
people making derogatory comments about BF?

but for people saying do not judge, its just silly, we all judge. if we are honest.

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 13/03/2008 11:25

Who's Danny Dyer?

mumblechum · 13/03/2008 11:25

Who's Danny Dyer?

ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 11:27

The cockney wideboy of Chavsville.

he's an actor too.
A Cockney chav actor.

Kewcumber · 13/03/2008 11:28

"but for people saying do not judge, its just silly, we all judge. if we are honest."

Yes I do sometimes and its not something I'm proud of and something I would choose to jubilantly announce.

Nothing wrong with saying "you shouldn't judge" - it's setting a standard of behaviour that we should all strive for. I really think you need to work harder at addressing your failings...

Chequers · 13/03/2008 11:28

Message withdrawn

mrsruffallo · 13/03/2008 11:29

Don't like the label chav
Sounds nasty and snobby

rantinghousewife · 13/03/2008 11:30

Well there's judgey and then there's 'need to get a life'. You err on the 'get a life' side.

ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 11:32

sorry Mrs G.

he's really really common though.

Thats betetr isn't it?

ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 11:33

Mrsruffalo I mean...thought you anme was MrsGuffalo

Oliveoil · 13/03/2008 11:35

he is a professional cock-er-ney wankerrrrrrrrrrrr innit

does shite tv about "futbollers" and "ooliganism", usually stood with his legs wide apart going on about his manor or some such crap

Janni · 13/03/2008 11:37

Women may be self-conscious and bashful about exposing their breasts. They may not have confidence in their body's ability to sustain a baby, given all the formula marketing they will have seen. They may not come from families who value breastfeeding and not have the confidence to set a new trend. Their partner may not want them to breastfeed.

Lots of reasons other than selfishness and laziness