to think that, mothers that do not even try to breastfeed, are selfish and perhaps lazy?

[mrsdannydyer]

yes i know their will be women that have been sexually abused or have hiv or something, yes there is always, the execption to the rule.
but in gerneral, why do some women not even try?
this really baffles me?

Ahh, I dont think I would have breastfed twins as that certainly wouldnt have been the lazy option!

hi im Mamazon,
im lazy and selfish.

and i don't give a rats arse whether you think that makes me a bad mum or not MDD

Hooray for selfish, lazy mothers!

You know I think we're all a bit selfish and lazy in some ways, just that what we think of the easy option is different - I think I'm a bit lazy bfing because making up bottles and things seems to me like hard work!
TBH I think we all do things to make life easier that others might consider "selfish" or "lazy" but in the grand scheme of things does it really matter that much and is it anyone else's business? I think not!
I must admit I do wonder why some women choose not to breastfeed when there is nothing medically stopping them, but I certainly don't think that it is selfish or lazy!

Well, guess I'm lazy and selfish as well, and I don't care!!!

Na na na-na na

"Even the midwives told her to give up" - as if midwives are the experts on bf most likely to persuade some one to carry on! If only .....

You're right about many midwives, Elasticwoman, though all apart from her first were homebirths with independent midwives attending and they couldn't get the babies to breastfeed.

I BF because I am lazy! Can't be arsed with bottles, would not say that formula is the 'easy' route at all!

I don't understand why some women don't even want to try to BF but then I have friends who don't understand why I do BF.

I believe in each to their own and that the best thing for baby is a happy mummy.

Personal choice of course.

I do think though that some are maybe not as well informed as they could be, not their fault, lack of support etc. When I had DS I BF for 4 months and felt very pleased with myself for doing so. Almost as though I was doing him a favour . Everyone I knew or have known Bottlefed. I was very ill informed by staff and Health visitors etc. They said the best thing is to do it for the first six months, almost as though that is the cut off point and you can say "phew thank goodness thats all over". When I had DD I BF for 14 months because I had better information and support from the outset, though TBH most of that came from "The politics of Breastfeeding" - great book, information I sought out for myself.

Why do people reply to these threads if you ever have tried to breastfeed? OP wasnt critical of failure, just unwillingness to even try.

YAB completely U

and unkind, and patronising

Of course the OP is correct. These women should have their breasts removed competely, what's the point of keeping them if you aren't going to use them ?

In fact, they should be sterilised at the same time. Abusive b*stards.

Message withdrawn

nomdeplume, that is a good point you have raised there, its reminded me of somethign, i mean, why the hell do men have nipples?? The only possible use i can see for them is so that i have something to tweak when im feeling annoying

Message withdrawn

I AM both lazy and selfish by nature. Though I try hard not to be.

However, I bf'd both my dds for 6mo+.

How does that stack up for the OP?

Trolley, i was, i suppose a disadvantaged mum i suppose, as in i was a 19yo single mother and probably a bit ignorant of life - i breast fed my DD1 so that blows your argument out of the window. I am now 37 with a two year old who i BF too, im still not middle class. Honestly - just because you are a single mother, dont wear the right clothes, it doesn't make you ignorant and stupid you know. The whole class thing really really makes me mad, FFS, how do you define it anyway. So, before i was 19 single mum living on benefits, no qualifications - must have been working class. Now i am 37 have two degrees and own my own house, oh and DD has just started ballet lessons, so i must be middle class now then? yer right

The reason everyone jumped on the OP is because, so what if people choose not to BF, it is there decision after all. If all of these so called disadvantaged mums are not getting the information or support, then their midwives and health visitors are not doing their jobs properly!

and im sorry but i fail to see how anyone can not know the benefits of bf, it is rammed down our throats enough so that if we cannot manage it for whatever reason, we feel like failures as mums

Message withdrawn

I wasn't having a pop at you trolley, honestly. I avoid the broadsheets like the plague, i find them to biased, well, towards the middle classes, its only a short step away from the daily mail . To be honest, i don't tend to have a lot a truck with "research" printed in newspapers and magazines. Inless it is in a peer reviewed journal you are simply reading the authors point of view, which is always going to be one sided. LEM prepares to be whacked around the head with a 100 copies of the sunday times.

I sadly have to concede that you are correct about teenage mums not breastfeeding. I didnt really consider myself a teen mum at nineteen, but i guess i was really. One thought that occured to me is that maybe they are not comfortable enough with their bodies at that stage in thier life to be comfortable with breastfeeding? I remember when i was pregnant with DD2 thinking once, oooh, breasts are sexual and i am going to be putting them in my DDs mouth and then DP will want to play with them later - ewwwww. But as i am a 37 fairly confident woman, it never really bothered with me. At 16 when you are really only finding out about yourself, BF might be a big deal psychologically. I dont think it is down to ignorance or laziness. Interestingly, my niece has just had two children she is only 20 and actually quite niave. But i was so when i asked MIL if she BF, because i am actually a huge advocate of BF, and she said no, she tried but couldnt establish and her MW told her that if it was hard don't bother!!! Poles apart from mine who when i had terrible problems, moved hell and high water to support me, to the point where i was even admitted to the birthing unit for three days to sort things out (i was very lucky, this was NHS too). Was that because it was a different MW or because she viewed me differently and when i said i really wanted to BF and didnt want to give up, she believed me?

each to their own. i gave it a shot and it worked but also counted down the weeks until he could be weaned....

Apologies for not reading the entire thread, but I think this answers any questions about mums having time to be selfish and perhaps lazy (with thanks to the moneysavingexpert website):

Are you ready to have kids?

Test 1

Women: to prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months.
After 9 months remove 10% of the beans.
Men: to prepare for paternity, go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.

10. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Test 4

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems:

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hang out.
3. Time allowed for this: all morning.

Test 5

Forget the BMW and buy a practical 5 door wagon. And don't think that you can leave it out on the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
2. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the cd player.
4. Take a family size packet of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6

Get ready to go out

1. Wait
2. Go out the front door
3. Come back in again
4. Go out
5. Come back in again
6. Go out again
7. Walk down the front path
8. Walk back up it
9. Walk down it again

10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes. 11. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way. 12. Retrace your steps 13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you. 14. Give up and go back into the house. 15. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8

Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child.
A full-grown goat is excellent.
If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
Buy your weeks groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.
7. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old child.

Test 10

Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Dora and Bob the Builder.
Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls.
4. Cover the stains with crayon.

How does that look?

Test 12

Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly.
Important: no more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet if required. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirtsleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14

Put on your finest work attire.
Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
Now:

1. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
2. Stir
3. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
4. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
5. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
6. Do not change, you have no time.
7. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have kids.

Any popcorn left?

Girly, that is actually taken from "The Beginners Guide to Fatherhood" by Colin Bowles.
We have a copy and lend it out to prospective Daddys. It's very good!

YABFU, who the hell are you to judge how mothers feed their babies. The guilt trip of parenting starts the minute the blue line appears on the stick doesn't it?

I'd love a glass of your smugness, I bet it tastes delicious.