to think that, mothers that do not even try to breastfeed, are selfish and perhaps lazy?

[mrsdannydyer]

yes i know their will be women that have been sexually abused or have hiv or something, yes there is always, the execption to the rule.
but in gerneral, why do some women not even try?
this really baffles me?

some stats for you, sorry it took a while the NCT have moved their pages

Around 84% of women initiate breastfeeding, ie they start, only to stop, normally within 6 weeks.

So we are left with the other 16% that don't try to BF.
Surely that is covered by the social norms, the mental anguish and the few people that get so fed up with attitudes like yours they say 'Fuck you, I'm not breastfeeding my baby'.

Seriously, I BF DS, FF DD and am planning on BFing this one too, but by the way you have been on this thread makes even me feel like not breastfeeding just to spite you.

Firstly, can i say "ohhh fuck off, you are taking the piss"

Secondly, i BF dd1 for 8 weeks then gave up because the HV told me to , i was a young mum. I BF DD2 for 5 months, i put myself through hell to do it, i was ill too, but i was determined. If i were to have another baby i would like to BF, if it were as easy as it seems for some mummies , because if it all falls into place it is easier. BUT i can tell you something, the first sign of trouble and i would be straight down to tesco to buy a tub of SMA!! I just wouldnt put myself through that again.

I often wonder if the pressue women are put under to BF makes them actually give up sooner or not even try because they are scared of "failing" I spent five months either BF or expressing on some contraption lent by the NCT. I also spent five months hating myself because i could never quite "get it right" and had to top up with formula .

well, i hoped someone would say, some mothers do not even try, because of x y or z, and i would see things from a different pov, but you have just confirmed it all for me really, although to be totally fair i think vs, had a few good points,which i will take from this thread.

anyway im off out to lunch now. yes we are going to a lovely farm tea room, so you can easily judge me as either a chav or an arsehole or maybe you will judge me as middleclass, either way you will judge me, as others will judge you.
and really saying fuck off, just makes me laugh at you really, so go ahead.

bye bye for a nice lunch

Mrs DD

can you enlighten me as to why you can't get your head round some women making the decision that they are not going to choose to breastfeed.

How many children have you breastfed, what was the age gap between them and did you have to return to work, if so how long was your maternity leave ?

Do you have large or small boobs, are you comfortable with them and bresatfeeding in public/in front of your family and friends ?

Is you dp/dh supportive in the attending to household stuff and cooking meals/looking after the other children whilst your backside is welded to the settee in marathon evening cluster-feeding sessions ?

If you exclusively breastfed your kids do you now ensure that they eat only organic homecooked healthy food ?

Do you make sure that they watch no TV before the age of 2 and limit it even therafter, making sure that you entertain them yourself instead with all sorts of other activities.

Will you be making financial sacrifices to ensure that your kids are taught in small class sizes in a private school if the local state provision is anything less than outstanding/perfect ?

There are so many things a parent can do to ensure their little ones get a good start in life and breastfeeding is not the only one.

I hope that you understand what I'm saying here (if that is, you are not just stupidly trolling to create a "lively debate thread")

well, didn't bother with number 4, what with being lazy and selfish n all. Oh, and her being brain damaged. I mean, why bother?
Piff, can't believe some arse is asking this question.

Thing is though, you didn't word the question in a way that made people want to answer and explain, if you'd said 'Can you tell me why you didn't, or what reasons other people have for not trying to breastfeed as I'm really interested' you would have got a lot mroe answers like mine.
As it were you called everyone that didn't BF lazy and selfish so I can see why people said what they did, surely you can too?

some motheres do not even try because THEY DON'T WANT TO!! There is a perfectly adequate alternative to BF, it is THEIR CHOICE. Enjoy your tea, and come back when you have grown up a little.

Message withdrawn

You are being very unreasonable to assume that anybody who doesn't bf is lazy and selfish.

However, I do agree that it is a shame that more women don't even try, that the default position is to ff rather than to assume that they are going to bf and then decide they don't like it or can't do it.

I am a little dubious about the usefulness of banning advertising of ff tbh since I don't think that people are really that easily swayed by ads. What I think would have a lot more impact on breastfeeding rates is if women were able to discuss it more with people face to face. There should be more discussion with MWs at the antenatal stage and when the baby is born so that women don't even consider the ff route. Posters don't work but people talking to each other does. That obviously requires money which isn't easy to find so there is no easy way of resolving this.

Better I think not to judge people but to lead by example and tell people without criticism of their choices why you bf. Spread the word, so to speak.

By the way, bf is a fantastic excuse to sit around all day and sitll be able to tell everybody you are very busy and they need to wait on you hand and foot. That is what I call lazy.

right- i did not try with 2nd child as when feeding first i was told i wasnt eating properly and was starving my baby and being told not to bf in the reception area of doctors whilst waiting to see my doctor who was telling me i wasnt feeding my baby properly(i was eating btw!)kind of knocked my confidence.i was advised to give up.2nd child was born year later and i still had post natel depression from first child which doubled after 2nd.so i decided not too.
is that ok with you?i know my stories not some heart breaking thing so probably not a good enough excuse but it was my choice to make nobody elses.

3rd child i tried again and failed again.people like you are what make people like me feel like a failure.thanks

I have tried 4 times to breastfeed,a nd failed all times. A year ago I gave up yet again, when a scab came off my nipple into the babies mouth.

I know its my fault, and that I dont latch the baies on the right way...I will try again in August!

I really wish I could BF for longer, as it would save all that washing of bottles polarver, and would also save a bit of money too!

Off the top of my head some mothers don't try because:

-they worry that they won't be able to see how much their baby is getting, they feel more comfortable with knowing exactly how much is going in
-they hear horror stories from their friends about pain, cracked nipples, mastitis and wonder why on earth they should put themselves through that
-their family and friends all bottlefeed - it is the norm
-they don't feel comfortable with a baby sucking from their breasts.
-they are worried about bf in public and depressed at the thought of not going out anywhere in the first few weeks
-their partner isn't supportive and so they know they will be on their own with any problems
-ultimately it is their baby, their body, they have the right to choose without being labelled.

I know most or all of these can be 'solved' but afaik these are common reasons.

You know what? I can't even be arsed to explain to you why I didn't bf my dcs.

Please re-insert your head back up the warm, moist orifice from whence it came.

The thing is though chequers, those lovely farm tea rooms are often frequented by old ladies and gentlemen who positively frown on people whopping their boobies out to feed their babies But i am sure MrsDD will put them straight.

I often genuinely wonder why women chose to feed in certain ways. When i was having trouble BF, my mother constantly nagged me to FF, as did my aunt, who's daughter chose to FF all four of her children, said she had more contented babies. Maybe she was right, my wee mite was always hungry - but she was and is very happy. It is just about what works for the individual.

I didn't try...well not hard, I guess. So I suppose I am selfish & lazy...

My baby was given to me, for the first time, more than 12 hours after being born [crash c-sect due to pre eclampsia, so I was kept sedated on & of for 24 hours as bp sky high] told 'feed her'! This was after she had had bottle feeds in SCBU.

I asked for help, as she wouldn't latch [not knowing at the time that premmies find it difficult to latch on] and was told 'we don't have time' and given a leaflet.

Half alseep & still very upset after the events of the last 24 hours [went into hosp for routine check, kept in to be induced, baby distresed, crash c section] I couldn't be arsed to fight & sent dh off to find formula.

That happened for the whole week I was in, no one had time to help me. No one explained that if I expressed it would keep my milk up until dd was able to feed. MW when I got out said it was to late to try. Being a first time mum, I believed her.

Hope you don't choke on your lunch!

Agree with all the ambivalence about breast feeding posts.
Tried with both boys. Felt literally drained by the whole process, very depressed and in a tremendous amount of pain. Managed six months with DS1.
Finally gave up with DS2 when I ended up being admitted to hospital where they drained a huge abcess formed because of mastitis. This was drained without the use of antibiotics with an enormous syringe straight on the (general) ward with just the curtains drawn around me. I sobbed and scremed so loudly that when the curtains were drawn back I was inundated with little old ladies wanting to give me a cuddle .
In the highly unlikely chance that I had another baby, I would not breast feed again. Not for one minute. So judge me.

oh and I should have added in my last post yes YABU, not to wonder why people don't try but to phrase it as you did.

I did BF both mine but wouldn't judge others who choose not to. Once you get over the difficult bit (and it was for a couple of weeks with my first) actually BFing IS the lazy option. No sterlising bottles, no making up feeds, no listening to a howling baby while you warm it up. Also a tad selfish as our social life disappeared until there was long enough between feeds to go out without the baby. So two sides to every story, even tho I'm very pro BFing.

TROLL!!!!! ALERT TROLL!!!

you are obviously very high and mighty, i should get down offa that high horse if i were tis very windy!!!

Who are you to judge? all mothers know what is best for their baby who are you to try and make them feel bad?

OP GET A LIFE!!

Never normally post on these threads. But just had to say that what fedupwasherwoman has said is exactly what I was thinking after reading the whole thread.

Not BF does not make you a bad mother, or lazy or selfish for not doing it. There are a million other things that go into raising a healthy baby, which starts right from pregnancy until the child becomes and adult and is responsible for themselves.

I have DD and did not BF for my own personal reasons, but I still consider myself a fantastic mother

sandcastles, i am so sorry to hear about the horrible time you had for you. You would have thought you would have been given extra help. I think it so much depends on the hospital and Mw. I niavely chose to stay overnight when i had DD for "help with feeding" the MW on the ward were fecking useless, never got the same one twice, all conflicting advice, disaster.(they were too busy chatting in thier little office!) Then after i came home i still had problems and my milk didnt come through, i was able to attend a birthing unit at a different hospital solely for the purpose of establishing feeding. They were wondeful, so patient, they even gave us a double room and pushed the beds together for me and DP. I would have given up on day three if it wasnt for them.