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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is CF and inappropriate and say no?

419 replies

KindaProm · 27/11/2023 11:41

Well actually, I've already said no, and I'm getting a lot of attitude from various folk about my response sadly. So I'm here on AIBU to check myself.

A close family member, Zara has a son, Xander 17 who is at a specialist sixth form.

Every Christmas the school has a Very Fancy Christmas Event for Year 13 that all the children make massive efforts for. Think red carpet, photos, lovely food and entertainment.

They like to arrive in style.

I have a nice car. Zara would like to drive Xander in it to the event.

She's not willing to pay for insurance to drive it, and I'm not willing to fund her, so I've refused. She's not a great maneouverer anyway and I'd be concerned that she'd damage it.

She's having a hissy fit because I've RUINED his evening, they've been plotting this arrival since he joined this College. News to me, I was asked at the weekend for the event at the end of term.

Another close family member, Wilma, has called me several times to cajole, persuade and finally berate me for not allowing Zara to have this pleasure. Yes it's all about Zara, not Xander.

Wilma's DH, Vince, has also started trying to persuade me to let Zara drive it just in the grounds of the event, as its private property and insurance is almost irrelevant at that point.

I'm still saying no. Even if I'd consider it, what would I do whole she drove it on the grounds? Stand at the roadside like a plum while she pootles up the driveway?
How's she going to get to the venue?

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

And Wilma and Vince need to stick out of it, don't they?

OP posts:
ReluctantFishLady · 27/11/2023 11:49

I was also going to say Yves.

Zara is being idiotic. You have been very generous offering to drive Xander, I'd be thrilled with you if you would do that for my child. I assume there is room for her to ride along with you, unless you drive a bubblecar?

justaboutdonenow · 27/11/2023 11:50

KindaProm · 27/11/2023 11:42

As an aside, can anyone think of a male name beginning with Y? Confused

Yves, Yusuf?

YANBU, especially as you have already offered to drive him yourself, that's an acceptable compromise IMO.

I'm assuming the car is a 2 seater, although you could always pop Zara in the boot, it'll certainly provide a spectacle when she leaps out to make her grand entrance.

Whataretheodds · 27/11/2023 11:51

Surely Zara will be able to take much better photos of this momentous event if she's not in the car.

BMW6 · 27/11/2023 11:51

A short sharp "Hell No" from me!

If Zara wants to drive a fancy car to the event she can hire one and Wilma and Vince can chip in if they like.

Or the kids can club together and get a limo like lots do for proms.

Stand your ground OP - these are Cunty Fuckers, not Cheeky ones.

Aquamarine1029 · 27/11/2023 11:52

Tell all of these batshit lunatics to do one, and I would not be attending this event with them.

PossumintheHouse · 27/11/2023 11:54

Nah, I’d be telling her to piss off at this stage. You’ve offered to drive him, but nope: it’s all about her. Talk about entitled.

Ohtobetwentytwo · 27/11/2023 11:55

You dont need to add any more info. You were asked for a favour, you said no. They have all been dickheads ever since. Id be avoiding all calls from them, not worrying about whether I should cave in.

BMW6 · 27/11/2023 11:55

Ooh it's a sports car......... Lamborgini? Porche? Aston Martin?

LBFseBrom · 27/11/2023 11:56

Yves.

I think you could drive mother and son with them sitting in the back or mum could pay for insurance for 24 hours or whatever; I doubt it would break the bank and she is obviously paying out for other stuff.

I am sorry you are getting stick about this, it really isn't fair. If people stopped to think about it, they'd understand.

Good luck.

FloofCloud · 27/11/2023 11:57

So they want a fancy car but not prepared to ensure it's covered by insurance!! How much would it cost to add her?
You've been really nice offering to drive them!!
My brother has a very fancy 2 seater car and I'd NEVER ask this of him!!

BMW6 · 27/11/2023 11:57

LBFseBrom

It's a 2 seater..............

DisforDarkChocolate · 27/11/2023 11:57

If she is so keen on him arriving in style she has hire a performance car for the day.

Lucytheloose · 27/11/2023 11:58
  1. Yulian.
  2. If Zara does not have insurance cover, don't let her drive your car. She would be committing a criminal offence and so would you.
  3. Has nobody in your family anything more pressing to worry about than what is essentially a posh version of the school disco? Talk about privileged.
TheLadyIsAVamp · 27/11/2023 11:58

Yoseph!

Nevermind31 · 27/11/2023 11:59

Suggest that they pay for insurance if they need to be involved.
then tell them you are having a party at their house do they will need to be out Saturday night

thenightsky · 27/11/2023 12:00

Hiring a fancy car will probably cost a hell of a lot more than a day's insurance on yours.

DidiAskYouThough · 27/11/2023 12:01

She can tantrum all she wants over not being able to commit the offence of driving without insurance. Wehhhh.
She should have earned more and bought a fancy car for herself since it’s an issue for her. Just laugh at her, tantrumming and making demands.

Shinyandnew1 · 27/11/2023 12:02

I think you could drive mother and son with them sitting in the back or mum could pay for insurance for 24 hours or whatever; I doubt it would break the bank and she is obviously paying out for other stuff.

So, in the event of it 1. being a 2-seater car and 2. the mum refusing to pay for insurance, what would you suggest?

SiobhanSharpe · 27/11/2023 12:02

Temporary insurance cover for 24 hours is fairly cheap for most cars, but if it's a Ferrari, say, then it will probably be quite chunky.

TraumatisedatChristmas1986 · 27/11/2023 12:03

It's so kind of you to have offered to drive him there. As PP said, they could always hire a car if they don't want to accept your offer.

Really rotten behaviour, especially of the others who are joining in to pressure you.

Zonder · 27/11/2023 12:03

Doesn't Xander / Yorick want to go with his mates? Does he even know what his mum is planning, really?

Shinyandnew1 · 27/11/2023 12:05

SiobhanSharpe · 27/11/2023 12:02

Temporary insurance cover for 24 hours is fairly cheap for most cars, but if it's a Ferrari, say, then it will probably be quite chunky.

But Zara has refused to pay for the insurance.

SiobhanSharpe · 27/11/2023 12:06

Zonder · 27/11/2023 12:03

Doesn't Xander / Yorick want to go with his mates? Does he even know what his mum is planning, really?

Yeah, this is all about Zara isn't it? Is she planning to get glammed dressed up too?

poetryandwine · 27/11/2023 12:06

Zara is unquestionably out of line, OP. She insures herself or she cannot drive your car. Driving uninsured with so many children around, some of whom may be under the influence, is just not on. It matters not that the grounds are private. I am sorry this CF is recruiting family members to hassle you.

I am curious, though: is Zara planning to attend the event with Xander, or just drop him off? She sounds more invested in this grand entrance than he does. She sounds ….. unusual

Zarah123 · 27/11/2023 12:07

Yusuf, to add to the culture Grin

YANBU. I wouldn't put it past Zara to kick the car.

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