To think this is CF and inappropriate and say no?

[KindaProm]

Well actually, I've already said no, and I'm getting a lot of attitude from various folk about my response sadly. So I'm here on AIBU to check myself.

A close family member, Zara has a son, Xander 17 who is at a specialist sixth form.

Every Christmas the school has a Very Fancy Christmas Event for Year 13 that all the children make massive efforts for. Think red carpet, photos, lovely food and entertainment.

They like to arrive in style.

I have a nice car. Zara would like to drive Xander in it to the event.

She's not willing to pay for insurance to drive it, and I'm not willing to fund her, so I've refused. She's not a great maneouverer anyway and I'd be concerned that she'd damage it.

She's having a hissy fit because I've RUINED his evening, they've been plotting this arrival since he joined this College. News to me, I was asked at the weekend for the event at the end of term.

Another close family member, Wilma, has called me several times to cajole, persuade and finally berate me for not allowing Zara to have this pleasure. Yes it's all about Zara, not Xander.

Wilma's DH, Vince, has also started trying to persuade me to let Zara drive it just in the grounds of the event, as its private property and insurance is almost irrelevant at that point.

I'm still saying no. Even if I'd consider it, what would I do whole she drove it on the grounds? Stand at the roadside like a plum while she pootles up the driveway?
How's she going to get to the venue?

I've offered to drive him myself but nope, not good enough; Zara needs to be there.

I'm not being unreasonable am I?

And Wilma and Vince need to stick out of it, don't they?

I'm just here for the massive cat flap 😂

@KindaProm send Wilma and Vince some details of local sports car rentals 😬

Have I slipped into an episode of Keeping Up Appearances? Who the fuck cares what car someone arrives in? The hallmark of being truly posh is that you don't gaf, that's why aristocrats all drive muddy landrovers with dog blankets in the back.

CF Zara is your sister isn’t she?

That would be a really good idea!

But their behaviour probably meant that Op isn’t feeling particularly generous anymore…

Why don't they hire a fancy car?

If they've been planning this since he started at the place, then one would hope they'd made enquiries about hiring a fancy car for the occasion.
Under no circumstances should you back down.

She wants to drive him in a fancy car she can hire one. She wants to borrow yours she needs to have insurance (if Wilma and Vince - your parents perhaps? - are so invested, they can pay the insurance). But of course you are perfectly entitled to say no because you simply don't want to lend your car and the only person out of line is the one who has been building a fantasy for years around something she doesn't own.

Do people still have big cats as pets? Can they pull chariots? If so they would be best transport to a do ever (providing no one got eaten). I’m sure He-Man had something similar!

Yanbu! It's unreasonable not to mention illegal to borrow someone's car with no insurance. I think offering to drive him yourself is a very reasonable solution and mum could watch from the side. She could even video him pulling up and getting out. Stick to your guns! Very cheeky.

Zara is BTU. There is no way that i would allow someone to drive my car without full insurance. DH is insured to drive my car but hasn't done so for years. He drives a VW Up! which is the first car he has owned that has every panel intact; I have recently replaced my battered 11 year old people carrier with a 2 year old Skoda Karoq (thanks dad for the inheritance but I would rather still have you with us). DH is on my insurance because for many years we drove from Scotland to France and I needed to know I had a back-up driver. His MOT expires next week and he hasn't yet managed to book a test; he needs his car for his job so the following week could be interesting.

YANBU - another thing to consider at the moment is that if your car was damaged and still drivable, you probably won’t be able to get it fixed before Christmas. Me and my aunt both had separate car accidents recently where we were not at fault; and we’re still waiting for repair slots (wait times are about a month at the moment.)

That's a myth.

Have you checked how much insurance costs? I added someone recently and it was £12! Maybe she thinks it'll be super expensive. Or would you still not let her anyway?

Even if Zara had insurance, would anyone want her to drive their car? It feels like she is being so intransigent that she doesn't come across as the sort of person one would add to the insurance.

I rather get the feeling that Zara is somewhat spikier than a double mattress though.

Is that an euphemism?

What is CF?

Cheeky fucker

Tell her you will drive her son and stick her in the bloody boot.

Yousuf

Re insurance, I added my 21 year old daughter to mine for a month when she was back from uni and I got a £24 refund from my annual insurance!

but everyone is a CF apart from Xander. YANBU.

Yehudi (playing the tiniest violin)

Either she pays for fully comp insurance and signs to cover any excess, or accepts you as chauffeur.

How about she drives her own car, towing yours behind with Xander sat in it?

If she agrees to get insurance.

Veygo do temporary cover make sure she shows you the confirmation do t take her word for it because if she crashes you'll be paying the £££

Absolutely YANBU! I have a 5 year old car that I bought brand new. The only one I’ll ever be able to afford. It’s mid range, nothing fancy but no one… NO ONE drives my car but me - and certainly not uninsured. The only time I’ve allowed it was a medical emergency (I was the emergency) and my uncle (who drove for the military) had to move it for me from a public car park to my home about a mile away. Golden balls can bugger off.