To be sad our friends gave away our pram?

[GotMooMilk]

We have 2 kids age 7 and nearly 4. When DC2 was around 2.5 our friends were having a baby and asked if they could borrow our pram. I was about to sell it on (it was a nice pram and would have got £3/400 second hand) but we said they could have it for their DC and we could sell it when they were done.

Roll on 2.5 years later they’re having DC2 and have got a new pram. We asked about our one and turns out they gave it away a year ago. For reference they are v wealthy so wouldn’t have needed the money but I’m upset that they wouldn’t offer it back to us first. It’s sentimental value but also we could have sold it! And now they’re having another they’re buying a new pram it just seems a waste.

I think my emotions are just high and I get when you give something away you have no rights to it but my understanding was we were lending rather than giving. What do you think?

Where are you getting that she said she did not want it back?

OP said this:

We have 2 kids age 7 and nearly 4. When DC2 was around 2.5 our friends were having a baby and asked if they could borrow our pram. I was about to sell it on (it was a nice pram and would have got £3/400 second hand) but we said they could have it for their DC and we could sell it when they were done.

When you ask to borrow something - the default is that you will be giving it back. They asked if they could borrow it, not have it. And by the sounds of it OP even said to them that they would sell it on when they were done using it. So if this is an accurate summary of what was said, there was absolutely no reason for her friends to assume she would not be wanting it back.

I agreed to sell my old pram at a very very discounted rate to a family
Member. She never paid and then has a new pram now.. I'm fuming about it.

Your comment is the epitome of no good deed goes unpunished. I would never accept anything on a loan and then sell it. It’s theft and any justification otherwise is nonsense.

I agree the principle is just rude. Any baby stuff I’ve been given by friends and family when I’m done with I say to them, thank you so much for the walker/stairgate/bike, Jonny has outgrown it now, do you want it back for someone else you know or do you want me to try and pass it on? I think that’s just basic manners.

I was responding to your fantasy about it being a present from a deceased grandparent and of great sentimental value. The OP was ready to sell it a few years ago when she had no need of it.

I suppose it's possibly because I gave away all our baby equipment. I kept a small selection of very cute outfits which had genuine sentimental attachment- the rest was passed on to other parents or given to charity shops- none of it was sold. I've no idea where specifically the pram and pushchair went.

I can't actually imagine the mindset of thinking a 7 year old pram which has had 3 users has any commercial value. I don't believe it has "sentimental value" as the OP says herself she was thinking of selling it when she had finished with it.

You gave away baby items and made no arrangement to have those items returned. That’s entirely different to making clear the item was loaned and the recipient deciding to sell the item on or give the item away.

OP I'd say they just forgot that it was a loan. I was so tired in pregnancy/newborn days that I possibly wouldnt' remember either. A bit shit, but if they are wealthy it's more likely that they wouldnt' consider re-selling something afterwards.

For the sake of the friendship - if they are otherwise decent and not grabby? - I would remind yourself that you would not have got much for it now, and in some sentimental ways its nice to know another fourth baby is getting to enjoy it now too? It's annoying, but it's not like they sold it, they gave it onwards. if you think of it that way it's easier to move on

The pram either had commercial value and it could have been sold after OP had no more need of it or it had great sentimental value and OP should never have run the risk of it being lost/ damaged/stolen/ irreparably worn out.

Apparently however a 7 year old, 3 users pram magically has both commercial re - sale value and sentimental value.

OP's friends didn't sell it, they gave it away.

Ah. A difference without a difference.

IT WAS NOT THERES TO SELL NOR GIVE AWAY.

It depends how clear you were about wanting the pram back. If you were clear then they were CF . We haven’t heard your conversation and we don’t know your friends.

Hopefully you've learned that you can't really long term loan things like that (or much to be honest). You should have sold it to them as you were never going to need it back off them. They are still CF but now you know that those sort of arrangements don't work.

Whatta' load of nonsense. That's what I think.

@Myfabby can you please explain the term pretzelling immediately so I can adopt it into my everyday vernacular

YABU.

Things should be passed on, it’s just good humaning

Ehem THEIRS.

Oh my god I’ve honestly heard it all now. You are actually extolling virtue into the people that nicked her pram and gave it away. No wonder society is absolutely fucked 🤣🤣

That's rude of them but honestly, nobody buys second hand prams for £300

You may have gotten £40

A friend gave me her pram. She'd used it for 2 kids. Then I used it for mine

It broke after a few months. I had to replace the chassis

Then the strap broke making it useless

After 3 kids it was sent to the tip

They didn't "nick" OP's pram. OP says she lent it to them, they gave it away. (Presumably because OP forgot to mention the enormous sentimental value it had, what with it being possibly the last present from a deceased grandparent)

I completely agree with YorkshirePuddingBelongs - unless you're absolutely broke passing on baby clothes and equipment for nothing is a very good thing to do.

They didn't "nick" OP's pram. OP says she lent it to them, they gave it away

Do you routinely give away items you have asked to borrow? Because "borrow" means to use something with the intention of returning it, so if you're giving those things away, you are nicking them.

I know someone who loaned an expensive lawnmower to a friend of a friend and around 6 months later asked for it back, to be told that borrower had sold it - having forgotten it wasn't his to sell!

I don't know the eventual outcome.

Some people are thoughtless, cheeky, oblivious... or just strange!

I actually gave away my expensive beautiful WEDDING DRESS to a "lovely young poor couple." She got pregnant. They fell out, didn't marry. She sold dress!!!! Long time ago... let it go. Xxxx

Really? I would have thought you'd remember about a large expensive item in comparison to a couple of babygros

I would be upset also if I made it clear that it was being lent. It’s not up to me to remind them again what was agreed so why some people think if they forgot that’s ok! I would definitely remind them you were lending it to them as you had intended to sell it until they asked for it. And that you expected them to return it after they were done with it. They may laugh about it but at least you make it clear what was agreed. And it’s not really about how much it would resell for. It has sentimental value. I think some people really have no clue about value until they buy it themselves. In the end though, it was a pram, you have nice memories of it and I’m sure pictures too so let it go :( but definitely don’t lend these feckless arses anything else :)