Should I report my sister?

[howdoihowdoi]

Older sister, 10 years qualified as a social worker in mental health. Appears to be good at her job and has worked hard at it. However, takes cocaine and drinks herself into a stupor every single weekend. I find it disgustingly frustrating that she is managing to power through, but that's about it.

I know she does all she can but she has even admitted that going to a service users door on a Monday morning after being on in all weekend feels very contradictory.

Should I report her? Or suppprt her?

OP says she did cocaine and drank alcohol at the weekend.
This does not make someone drug dependant and an alcoholic

Have you always been jealous of her?

I was thinking that too

Are some people missing a critical thinking gene?

Yes it is well documented that drug use can cause mental health issues. That doesnt automatically mean that MH issues will cause or are caused by drug use/dependency!

I hate this assumption that if A is true then the opposite, B, must also be true. Thats like saying "There is a link between being cold and being tired, because being cold lowers the bodies metabolism and puts a person into sleep mode. So therefore, if a person is tired it is because they are cold."

Lol

In the same job. Not unusual like most professional jobs. As long as work isn't effected

Are these comments for real?! This woman is suppose to be keeping young people safe. So lets say she smashes her way through cocaine and alcohol over the weekend and is due for a safeguarding observation on Monday, do you think all the shit she has in her system is going to effect her judgment? It absolutely will. As if the impact of drugs and alcohol hasn’t been documented throughly enough.

Snitching on your sis to her employer is not a nice thing to do.

Report her to herself. This is going to involve being brave and not cowardly and having a difficult conversation. You can only report what you observe and feel about it and tell her what your concerns are and let her know you care about her health and wellbeing.

I'm v disappointed to hear this as I used to be a heavy drink and drug user and 'high functioning' as they call it but I can tell you with absolute certainty that I was batshit crazy throughout. I'm 8 years in total sobriety and it's been hard to process knowing all the cringe and shameful stuff I did (or failed to do) as a result of my 'having fun' and 'partying hard' and how it affected my work, my capability, my responsibilities, my honesty, my decision making, my integrity. And oh boy did I think I had life cracked and was a super cool person having fun. I was dumb as a box of rocks, drugs and alcohol make you foolish and clean and sober wide awake people think you're a bitch or edgy or hard to work with or just a straight up annoyance - they see it.

Now as a clean and sober person, everywhere I go I notice staff or employees acting real shady and weird, moody with it. At the moment I need a lot of medical treatment and I'm looking at plenty of people I have to meet in hospitals and surgeries thinking they're way off beam - either deeply insane or sketchy from a bit much too dabbling on the drink and drugs. Cos that's what I was like. Now I think your honesty may have proven me right. I always feel much safer when I get an obviously religious, especially muslim, member of staff as I know they don't use drugs.

People need to clean their acts up.

Help her and urgently. Working with mental health patients in crisis is tough. How many of her patients have committed suicide, for example? How many are violent to others? Lots of staff in this sector end up with their own mental health problems like PTSD, anxiety and more. She is probably using to forget and even if her employers find out she is in detox of something, at least she can relate to some of her patients.

Yep! I checked the sate cos I assumed it was an older post!

It's amazing how people on MN get offended over absolutely everything but are so tolerant of cocaine and think it's so harmless.

And then people expect their kids to be better and say no to drugs 😂

Won’tRcrrrrcrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggg

Your sister does a bloody awful job. Incredibly stressful. She just needs your love and support, not your judgment and reporting.

Does your sis have proper supervision at work to talk through what she experiences / is dealing with?

I do think you’re right to be concerned but you should not ‘report’ her - just try and have a kind f2f conversation with her and talk to her about your concerns for her health and well-being. Bear in mind she may fly off the handle or be defensive - be prepared to be calm and possibly even leave at that point - but your words will sink in.

Do you hate your sister? Why else would you report her? You said yourself that she's good at her job.
So she's being a dickhead of a weekend. She's a grown up. If she's not performing well at work, it will be flagged.
Sisterly love eh

Neither! It's not your business.

No don’t report her. It’s spiteful. Her weekend behaviour and job performance is none of your business.

@thebestinterest This! Can’t leave out pilots, nurses, consultants. It’s V common!

If it was a pilot or a surgeon and they were going to work with substances still in their blood stream I'd report in a heartbeat! Enough bloody way would I tolerate them putting someone else at risk.

Well, as an erstwhile MH service user, I wouldn't be too chuffed if she was my CPN, and I detected that she was not in a state to carry out her job. Part of which appears to be to judge monitor the service user's life style.

Especially if she went on to dish out the usual lectures service users have to suffer about regular bedtimes, not abusing alcohol, not using cannabis, and even giving up smoking tobacco.

If I were you, I don't think I'd report her, though. Talk to her if you want, yes.

Definitely agree with this

I’d be very worried if she drives as she will have cocaine in her system . She clearly needs support

Just ruin her life completely 🙄 sisterly love.

Report her to who??

What do you think they will do?

Unless it's effecting her work they will do nothing.. she can deny it and they will have no real evidence..
If you are genuinely concerned You need to actually discuss it with her and encourage her to seek professional help.
Reporting her to her workplace will achieve nothing but ruin your relationship

She could still be good at her job, why would you report her?!
One of the best heart surgeons I have ever met was a 26stone man. He often had to give lifestyle advice. Contradiction? Of course, but still amazingly good at his job and any patient would have had bern lucky to have him as their doctor.