Should I report my sister?

[howdoihowdoi]

Older sister, 10 years qualified as a social worker in mental health. Appears to be good at her job and has worked hard at it. However, takes cocaine and drinks herself into a stupor every single weekend. I find it disgustingly frustrating that she is managing to power through, but that's about it.

I know she does all she can but she has even admitted that going to a service users door on a Monday morning after being on in all weekend feels very contradictory.

Should I report her? Or suppprt her?

Contradictory or hypocritical?
Does she have kids herself?
I wouldn't trust an employee who snorts coke every weekend, and certainly not one in such a position of trust.
I'd report her as someone doing drugs regularly is clearly addicted and needs help.

Let me tell you OP, you are incredibly naive. My social circle are all weekend drinkers and cocaine users and some of the professions in my group range from primary school teachers, social workers and senior staff in big companies. All of us show up to work at 8am on a Monday and are sober all the working week until we can blow off steam on the weekend. I honestly don’t know anyone who doesn’t take cocaine when they go out on the weekend. It is way more common than you think.

Does she have children?

Presumably she doesnt work at the weekend? Goes on a bender on a Friday and/or Saturday and spends Sunday sleeping it off? So is at no risk to her service users or anyone else other than herself.

Its not good for her but in her job, she needs an outlet and this is her outlet of choice. I would be very worried if it was my sister but I wouldnt jump straight in with a holier than thou attitude of reporting her to her employer, why the hell would you even think of that?!

If she has come to you and admitted that it is a problem, that she is struggling with work/day to day life as a result of it then what good would reporting her do? It would just make her worse if anything. If she has talked about struggling then help her get help, that is, if you actually care about her which I have to say, I am not getting from your post. If she hasnt, wind your neck in and mind your own business. She will likely grow out of it, most people do. And if she doesnt then the consequences will come in the fullness of time.

I sense that you feel a rather pleasing sense of self satisfaction that she is doing this and you are so much better than her.

And YY I too have seen this one before.

Does she have kids??

edit for typo

What the actual....!
Lord knows how many professionals do what your sister does and are still very good at their jobs- not that it is any of your business.

If she's selling cocaine to her service users then you might have a point but otherwise- who gives a fuck?! This is not the post of a concerned sister.

I'm not sure how you think losing her job will help with her drink problems. More despair, more reason to drink, more time to drink.

If it doesn't affect her work, then it's none of her employer's business, and you making it so would be entirely unfair to her.

You really are a terrible excuse for a sibling

So your sister is snorting cocaine every weekend and then most likely working with parents who have lost their kids for drug abuse. But people here are saying support her, it's an outlet for a busy job, so then cocaine use is okay for people with stressful jobs but it's serious enough to lose kids over.

Drug use of any kind is dangerous for anyone of any profession or any walk of life and your sister would be a hypocrite to sit opposite anyone on a Monday morning coming down of a cocaine binge while giving any kind of advice or support to anyone.

She's not exactly getting off her face or shooting up between service users is she? Like others have said, don't report her, support her or just leave her be.

She works in mental health so how is she most likely working with parents who have lost their kids for drug abuse?

I would suggest that she is more likely working with service users who cannot get the help they need for severe MH issues because the NHS MH services are on their knees due to lack of funding. "Care" in the community.....

I work in mental health. I work one on one or in groups with people that come directly from PICU. You are lucky you don’t

I would support her but wouldn’t agree with her choices. Cocaine use speeds up the heart and causes damage. I know people who have had heart attacks in their late thirties because of it. Those who think it’s normal need to think again. I would talk to her about her stressful job and other outlets. It is her decision/life choices at the end of the day.

@Allthecatsandcosyblankets erm most mental health service users don’t have drug addictions. Or children with drug addictions. Drugs isn’t even that huge a thing in my line of work.

Do you feel she is a danger to the vulnerable people she supports?

Then she should know that mental health and drug use go hand in hand! She should be aware of drug induced psychosis, drug use and depression, drug use and anxiety. She probably works with people who she refers to drug counselling. Yet everyone on here think it's okay for her to use drugs herself as a stress relief at the weekends. I'm not saying I would report her, I am just shocked at how many people are dismissing that she is quite entitled to use cocaine to unwind!

@PyongyangKipperbang that’s the hardest thing. Dealing day to day to day with not enough money or resources to help- when you just KNOW that you know how to help given the right bloody CASH to throw at it.

well I’ve done the euromillions. Fingers crossed eh

@Allthecatsandcosyblankets i assume you don’t work in mental health? Mental health and drug abuse actually doesn’t go in hand, it’s a common misconception yes, but wrong

I beg to differ! I know many people with severe mental health problems all stemming from drug addiction. You only need to read the addiction section on mumsnet to see this!

What do you want to achieve by reporting her? Will it make you happy to see her lose her job? She'll probably end up drinking and drug taking far more when she's jobless and finds out her own sister is the cause.

It's one thing to be concerned, but it's a whole other level when you sneakily report your own flesh and blood to get them fired.

I know plenty of professionals in important jobs who like to throw off the shackles at the weekend and enjoy a drink or something a bit more 'substantial'. Doesn't mean they do it all week long, or are incapable of doing their job and should be sacked.

If I discovered my own sister did what you're suggesting, that would be our relationship over with. All trust would be gone. It's such a cunty thing to do.

I'm really surprised at people normalising this behaviour. Either times have changed or people are bullshitting. I've worked in education for 30 years and know social workers, nurses, other clinical staff. I don't know anyone who behaves in the way described here as being "normal".

OP, I don't think it's normal, no. Or professional. But to be honest, the only people who seem to work in mental health these days are the ones who have had mental health issues themselves so I'm not surprised they have issues.

What would I do about it in your situation? Absolutely nothing. I don't think it's right to feel that way. But realistically, these days, what can you do? She's your sister. Times are hard, there's a shortage of dedicated people in these areas. Without people like your sister there would be no-one doing these jobs. At least there is SOMEONE doing the job, even if they're not the professional people we would want.

Your opening post should be posted on every single thread where an OP asks whether sticking to one child would be detrimental. When everyone says things like 'it's not guaranteed that siblings will even be close friends' they don't mean anything near what you're suggesting in your post. Thank heavens my sisters are nothing like you! Who'd need enemies.

I know people who have had heart attacks in their late thirties because of it

do you actually know multiple people this has happened to? Like in person?

Report her to who for what?
to the police for drugs? Or work for taking drugs?

How would you prove it? Is her behaviour at the weekend impacting on her work?

I didn't mean all the time but alot of the time it does

I find it disgustingly frustrating that she is managing to power through, but that's about it.

This reveals it. Not concern about the sister or their clients. It's more that she hasn't (yet) hit rock bottom. Your poor sister, when you both speak and she confides in you she must have no idea the strength of rope she's making for herself.