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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenager smashed sisters phone

227 replies

Stress101 · 25/11/2023 13:09

Two teenagers 13 and 15, girls. 15 old smashed 13 year old phone this morning. I was in bed as I'm unwell and DH was downstairs with them. They usually get on well apart from the usual sister arguments. I'm always on top of it when it starts between them and put an end to it. DH however is partially deaf ,doesn't wear his hearing aid and so doesn't always intervene on time.

Anyway things escalated and phone is now smashed. DH said that DD15 has to replace the broken phone which means she won't get all of the Christmas presents she wants. She also has money from her Grandmother from doing well in her exams that DH has said she needs to hand this over too.

DD15 can get very angry and has blown up at me before. Prior to this DH has let her away with a lot. I stayed out of it upstairs as I knew DD15 would turn on me if I said anything.

What is the the right and fair thing to do.

OP posts:
FluffyUnicorn84 · 25/11/2023 13:11

DD15 replace the 13yo phone.

Renamed · 25/11/2023 13:11

Sounds like DH is right, why don’t you think so?

Squiggles23 · 25/11/2023 13:12

If she smashed it on purpose then it’s probably a good life lesson. Is it just the screen? Can she pay for a replacement for that?

If it was an accident of sorts I wouldn’t expect her to replace.

Blackalice · 25/11/2023 13:12

Replacement phone of course xxx

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 25/11/2023 13:13

Your DH is right.

Sounds like you are blaming him for not 'interveneing in time' when in reality your DD is 15 and knows what she is doing

GoFaster83 · 25/11/2023 13:14

She broke it intentionally. If her sorry is sincere she will fix it without complaint. She will probably need guiding to understand this so it isn't just a punishment tho. Take time to talk to her and be kind.

SalmonEile · 25/11/2023 13:14

I think your DH is right here,
if your DD smashed a friends phone she’d have to pay for it so it’s a good life lesson
unless the younger DD was filming the older one or something …

DisplayPurposesOnly · 25/11/2023 13:14

DD15 should pay to replace her sister's phone, definitely.

Or, if that's too expensive, she could give her sister her own phone and buy whatever phone she can afford for herself.

Suchapain · 25/11/2023 13:14

I don't know how to vote - what do YABU and YANBU mean in these circumstances?

Quartz2208 · 25/11/2023 13:14

Is it just the screen surely just replace that (and is it under warranty you can send off and get fixed for free) but yes she should get it fixed

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 25/11/2023 13:15

What exactly happened? Was it deliberate? Is the phone still usable? If it is, they could swap phones otherwise?

Original poster
Stress101 · 25/11/2023 13:16

I didn't/dont want to get involved because I'm always the disciplinarian so left DH to deal with it. I'm afraid he won't follow through with it and I will have to and then deal with DD15 hating me even more than she already does. DH can do no wrong in her eyes though.

OP posts:
Dizzy82 · 25/11/2023 13:17

Quartz2208 · 25/11/2023 13:14

Is it just the screen surely just replace that (and is it under warranty you can send off and get fixed for free) but yes she should get it fixed

Warranty won't include smashed screen. Was the phone insured as that would cover the smashed screen with just an excess to pay.

Original poster
Stress101 · 25/11/2023 13:19

DD15 broke it intentionally. She said DD13 was annoying her all morning. DD15 took the phone and threatened to text DD13 friends. DD13 tried to take the phone back and DD15 threw it on the floor and smashed it. Screen broken and phone won't turn on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stress101 · 25/11/2023 13:19

Phone not insured.

OP posts:
TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet · 25/11/2023 13:21

She replaces the phone, but I’d separate the punishment of Christmas and the money from her grandmother. That’s triple punishment, taking away unconnected events.

Andthereyougo · 25/11/2023 13:21

15 year old replaces phone. Lack of Christmas presents and giving up money will teach her not to lose her temper in future. Sometimes you have to be the hard parent.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/11/2023 13:21

Warranties are for faults, not damage.

DD15 needs to cough up.

NunsKnickers · 25/11/2023 13:22

I think DD15 should pay for a new phone. She broke it on purpose, not accidentally, and needs to learn.

ilovesooty · 25/11/2023 13:22

Of course she should pay for a replacement phone. What unpleasant behaviour.

ilovesooty · 25/11/2023 13:23

I think I'd consider removing 15 year old's phone until her sister's phone is replaced as well.

TidyDancer · 25/11/2023 13:23

DD1 definitely needs to pay for the phone.

Why does she hate you? Normal teenage bratty shit or anything more to it? Any history of DD2 being favoured at all? Not excusing the incident but if there's any explanation of this sort it may affect how best to deal with it!

MajesticWhine · 25/11/2023 13:24

I think she should have to pay to get it fixed. Or if not fixable, to pay for replacement.

Nexttimewillprobablybethesame · 25/11/2023 13:24

What was the disagreement about and who started it? DH youngest generally tend to wind up older sibling to the point where he flips. Doesn't excuse damaging personal belongings in temper, but arguments are usually 2 way.

Cattiwampus · 25/11/2023 13:25

She replaces the phone and understands the consequences of responding in a violent manner. You both need to step up your parenting rather than hiding upstairs in case she turns on you. What’s she like at school?