Teenager smashed sisters phone

[Stress101]

Two teenagers 13 and 15, girls. 15 old smashed 13 year old phone this morning. I was in bed as I'm unwell and DH was downstairs with them. They usually get on well apart from the usual sister arguments. I'm always on top of it when it starts between them and put an end to it. DH however is partially deaf ,doesn't wear his hearing aid and so doesn't always intervene on time.

Anyway things escalated and phone is now smashed. DH said that DD15 has to replace the broken phone which means she won't get all of the Christmas presents she wants. She also has money from her Grandmother from doing well in her exams that DH has said she needs to hand this over too.

DD15 can get very angry and has blown up at me before. Prior to this DH has let her away with a lot. I stayed out of it upstairs as I knew DD15 would turn on me if I said anything.

What is the the right and fair thing to do.

No I didn’t read every single response of the OP .
I wasn’t aware she had breast cancer and that was why she was in bed - the first post made no mention of it
Im sorry if my words have caused any offence OP

OP, I would take away the 15 yr olds phone for two weeks, make her apologuise and pay for a new phone.

Best of luck with your health, hope your treatments are over soon.

@CagneyAndLazy I have never done that, nor would I ever profess to! I have only ever claimed for accidental damage! I’m actually entitled to claim dla for my son, but I’m still refusing to send in the forms! I’m that kind of person! So yes! Get a grip! Making a judgement of someone on an internet forum based on a fly away comment clearly isn’t for you!

THIS! NVDD needs to lose her phone until she replaces DD13's phone. Actions have consequences, and 15 is old enough to understand that fact. How to pay for it is on your NVDD15. However she needs to do it, she does it, or she learns to not have her phone.

NVDD15 needs to learn some self-control before she loses it on the wrong person, who won't put up with her crap.

I should have read the whole thread. I'm really sorry about your health issues. It must be a very difficult time for you and your family.

I'm wondering if your daughters are receiving any professional support. I do have to say that sometimes frightened teenagers aren't particularly nice to sick parents. I think it can be easier for them to be angry than to admit they are scared. It doesn't mean that they don't love you. I think your husband should put his hearing aids in and get on with the parenting while you prioritize your health.

So why ask whether the phone was insured, knowing it was deliberately - not accidentally - damaged?

Try and save some exclamation marks for everyone else, too.

@CagneyAndLazy Stop replying to me! (!!!!!!!!!!!! *all of the exclamation marks!!!!!)

I'll reply if I like. When I like.

Dry your eyes.

Worst song ever that!

You’re continuing to be judgemental and rude. Oh and if we are going to go by your logic, I’ll use exclamation marks if I like and when I like! And you are not the punctuation police!

Cool your jets, love.

Hilarious when you started it and carried it on!

I would take 15 year olds phone, factory reset and pass it on to 13 yo. That will hurt far more than getting a few gifts less at Christmas. Let her simmer for a while without phone.

I'm a bit confused. You say that DH won't usually get involved so this time you left him to it. He's made his decision as what punishment should be and you're questioning it. If you disagree with his punishment then you're completely undermining him the one time he has taken it upon himself to be strict.

All you have to do now is make sure he'll follow through with it!

I suppose if looks like he might back down and you want to get brownie points with eldest you could say "Look, I know Dad said you'd lose all your presents AND money off Gran, but I think that's a bit harsh so I've talked to him and we've decided you'll only have to pay €130".

But if he intend to go through with this punishment you really can't undermine him!

Eldest gets her phone removed asap. She can have it back when the phone is replaced. She should suffer a he inconvenience of her actions as well as the financial impact. She needs to learn to control her anger.

I hope your treatment is going well.

Dd15 absolutely should pay for a new phone but I am with @TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet on the exam money. She earned that exam money through her own hard work.

is she getting any kind of help with her anger? I know teenage siblings can get on each others nerves but this is an extreme reaction.

Husband is right, she needs to be taught actions have consequences and not before time.

Idk if you’re coming back @Stress101

I’m sorry you’re going through treatment at the moment. I can speak as a child, whose parent had cancer when I was 13 then died about 3 years later. Your 15 yo will have a far greater understanding of what is going on with you than your youngest. I would be cutting her, well, both girls a lot of slack.

It’s hard parenting teens. I’m unwell. I’ve been unwell since before my dd can remember. She’s 15 and not terribly sympathetic atm. It’s just how kids are. Hang on in there.

In fairness, that’s quite the drip feed. You didn’t mention breast cancer at all when you said

I didn't/dont want to get involved because I'm always the disciplinarian so left DH to deal with it. I'm afraid he won't follow through with it and I will have to and then deal with DD15 hating me even more than she already does.

if you had mentioned it earlier you’d probably have got very different responses, but you just said you were “unwell”, which doesn’t really convey the severity of your illness.

DH took care of it already, what's the issue?

The issue probably is that although DH "laid down the law" the lazy arse Disney dad will now back off and let 'mean old mum' enforce the law so that once again, she's the bad guy.

Cancel the hair appointment but only if the other sister is sure she's happy with the cheaper phone

@AngeloMysterioso it doesn’t make any difference!! She said she was unwell, it’s judgmental people like you who jump on it and make out she’s “hiding or lazy for being in bed unwell” stfu, she didn’t have to mention her illness she was asking for advice on that exact situation! maybe this is a lesson also for people to not always assume they know everything, maybe it should teach people that if someone has already said they are unwell to not be so fucking nasty.