Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

OP I'm with you. Drink driving makes me feel sick to the stomach. It's one of the most utterly selfish and thoughtless things someone can do. And it's not even that he was a tiny bit drunk and risked it up the road. He must have known he was wasted and decided to go from one city to another. I think if this was my DH I'd find it really hard to come back from this. Please ignore the gaslighters on here. You in no way caused this and it's in no way your responsibility to fix. The people minimising it would feel totally different if they lost a loved one due to such recklesness.

Yes worried, but surely you’d give him hell for drink driving? I certainly would. No way would I be guilt tripping his partner. I would see it as a reflection on my parenting and I’d be giving him a remedial catch up of some tough parenting.

Op last posted 24 hours ago - I doubt she’s coming back now.

TBF, this post was taken down by MN yesterday for 'a look' so OP started a new thread because she didn't understand why it was taken down.

I saw it was taken down and just came back to check new posts by op as it was up again and have seen your timely message! How do I find this second thread please?

There's quite a grey area between 'perfect' and 'drink driving which ruins people's lives and it's sheer luck that on this occasion this didn't happen'...

Yes, because no one except her could possibly disagree with the mn group think. Differing opinions are allowed

I’m quite happy to not align with minimising drink driving and smashing up someone’s car. I’m quite happy to think that’s a dealbreaker.

Absolutely you are but that's isn't all what I said, the PP said that someone who has a differing opinion must be the MIL, clearly nonsense. You don't think everyone has to agree with you do you?

I've read posts above from people who have decided to stay with a partner who drove drunk and that's a valid choice

I haven't been in that situation so simply don't know how I'd react, life isn't always black and white in every aspect

Does anyone know to find the new thread, please?

the 2nd thread was taken down -tbh mn were acting a bit suspect she had no idea why this one was down in the first place

It was taking down because of a load of trolls then reinstated.

Mumsnet is a vile place to read recently when everyone else is so perfect, very much doubt it

Not drink driving, and judging people who do, is nothing to do with "being perfect".

OP, how are you?

The thing is in the difficult striving to be perfect, not drinking and driving is one of the easiest achievements.

It doesn't require any of the effort of say, running marathons or winning Olympic gold medals or volunteering for charity work or being a brilliant artist/ chef/ musician/ actor/ writer/inventor.

Every single one of us, regardless of skills, talent, wealth or intelligence and using no effort at all, can achieve not drinking and driving.

How do you know no one was hurt?

Apologies if you've been answered already, but there's a comment from MNHQ that they pulled the thread temporarily because it was getting infested with trolls.

That's assuming a level of self-awareness which, going on the evidence, he doesn't seem to have.

I think she was back after it was reinstated yesterday, wasn't she?

@annabel586
Have you managed to speak to your H yet? Or is he just sulking at his mum's?

Oh I was really hoping the Op would have returned and given an update.