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Original poster

Partner not come home freaking out and angry

821 replies

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 00:05

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. Sad I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

OP posts:
TurquoiseHexagonSun · 25/11/2023 16:08

Didimum · 25/11/2023 12:06

Mumsnet at its most toxic. 👏

My thoughts exactly.

There is literally nothing that some MNers won't tear into another woman for, judging by this thread.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 25/11/2023 16:14

OMG what a nightmare. Drink driving, what a complete and utter moron.

Lovelymoon · 25/11/2023 16:28

WandaWonder · 25/11/2023 01:31

He is not a child, and neither are you I presume

Go to bed and act like grown up

Oh just fuck off Wanda, you sound like a twat

diddl · 25/11/2023 16:30

pitchblackstory · 25/11/2023 15:57

all those so horrified and aghast at the mother’s worry

My son could do far far far worse than this (despite it being absolutely awful), and i would still be very worried about him

But would you contact his partner to say that they should support him?

JanglingJack · 25/11/2023 16:33

Oh OP, I've been following your thread since the early hours as I couldn't sleep (no reason!).

What a fuck up. Not only covering the cost of his/your car, but the one damaged and his inability to drive for however long. I hope he realises how much his fucking stupid decision is going to affect you both.

I'd make him read this entire thread for starters.

Stupid man.

I'm sorry OP.

Dontcallmescarface · 25/11/2023 16:33

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 13:24

Also his mother messaging me worried about how down he will be and how we should all support him 🙄 is not helping

I just said this is going to have consequences on my life as well now so I need to do what's best for me

Has he got in touch or is he getting mommy dearest to do his grovelling for him? If so then not only is he a grade A prat but a coward to boot.

pitchblackstory · 25/11/2023 16:34

diddl · 25/11/2023 16:30

But would you contact his partner to say that they should support him?

Show quote history

not if i was thinking straight

desperately worried and not thinking straight… who knows

Nanaof1 · 25/11/2023 16:49

Mycatmax · 25/11/2023 09:34

Absolutely unforgivable. He was already drunk and slurring at 7.

As someone who has lost a loved one to a drunk driver, I have no sympathy.

He is despicable.

Show quote history

As someone who has been summoned to a DUI accident where people died, I am also livid and have zero sympathy for OP's NVDH. I feel for the OP having to endure a sleepless night because her NVDH felt the need to let it all hang out, or whatever the newest excuse is these days.

Wildehorses · 25/11/2023 16:52

RUN FOR THE HILLS … this man is bad news 😫

billy1966 · 25/11/2023 16:54

diddl · 25/11/2023 16:30

But would you contact his partner to say that they should support him?

Show quote history

Of course she could be worried, most mothers would be, as well as devastated.
I totally get that.

But NO, my first response to him being in jail for such a serious crime would not be to be telling his partner what she needs to do.

He could have easily killed someone, he crashed into a car.

AppaTheSixLeggedFlyingBison · 25/11/2023 16:58

Sending you lots of love OP. Please remember your partner's actions are a reflection on him, not you. Don't let your MIL make you feel any guilt. If she wants to support her little criminal she can. Thank god no one was hurt!

Parker231 · 25/11/2023 17:11

CantFindTheBeat · 25/11/2023 13:27

What's he like normally, OP?

This is awful, and most likely a deal breaker, but is it out of character? Is he normally a knob?

If it were my DH I think I'd want to know more before making any decisions.

What more is there to know? He’s driven whilst drunk, damaged another car and will now have a criminal record and loose his driving license.

Sauvblanctime · 25/11/2023 17:13

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 13:24

Also his mother messaging me worried about how down he will be and how we should all support him 🙄 is not helping

I just said this is going to have consequences on my life as well now so I need to do what's best for me

He should have thought about that before he got into his car then shouldn’t he!!

enjoy the Chinese and wine!

EmmaEmerald · 25/11/2023 17:23

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 13:24

Also his mother messaging me worried about how down he will be and how we should all support him 🙄 is not helping

I just said this is going to have consequences on my life as well now so I need to do what's best for me

I'd block her.

look after yourself x

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:26

MikeRafone · 25/11/2023 14:51

Also his mother messaging me worried about how down he will be and how we should all support him 🙄 is not helping

wtf

he could have killed someones son or daughter last night, yet she thinks her son might be feeling down

And yet, if your adult daughter or son did something utterly stupid and made a cunt of things, I'm certain you would be very concerned about their state of mind and how you can offer support and/or comfort. Of course you fucking would. Don't lie.

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:27

"I'd block her."

Would you fuck. Stop giving crap advice.

Blondebutnotlegally · 25/11/2023 17:31

diddl · 25/11/2023 13:49

Op refers to him as her partner so perhaps she could leave with needing a divorce.

Would that be OK?

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ZzzZ

Duvetdayforme · 25/11/2023 17:31

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:26

And yet, if your adult daughter or son did something utterly stupid and made a cunt of things, I'm certain you would be very concerned about their state of mind and how you can offer support and/or comfort. Of course you fucking would. Don't lie.

Show quote history

I have an adult DS and can assure you that I certainly wouldn’t be messaging his girlfriend, putting pressure on her if he had fucked up so royally.

EmmaEmerald · 25/11/2023 17:33

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:27

"I'd block her."

Would you fuck. Stop giving crap advice.

Why is that crap advice?

OP doesn't need his mum putting pressure on her to support him.

rothbury · 25/11/2023 17:38

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:27

"I'd block her."

Would you fuck. Stop giving crap advice.

I would block her, why not?

I wouldn’t be maintaining a relationship with her arsehole son, and could do without mummy telling me how sad he was and how I should be “standing by my fuckwit man”

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:38

Because it's not your mil. You don't know anything about the dynamics or nature of OP's relationship with her.
You might block YOUR mil in these circumstances but I certainly wouldn't block mine. I like and respect her even if I don't always agree with her. That's why it's crap advice.
Do you really need that explained to you.
Not. Your. Mil.

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:39

This reply has been deleted

This was deleted as it is not the spirit of the site.

rothbury · 25/11/2023 17:40

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:38

Because it's not your mil. You don't know anything about the dynamics or nature of OP's relationship with her.
You might block YOUR mil in these circumstances but I certainly wouldn't block mine. I like and respect her even if I don't always agree with her. That's why it's crap advice.
Do you really need that explained to you.
Not. Your. Mil.

Not OPs MIL either.

HTH

pictoosh · 25/11/2023 17:41

Trivial point - sentiment remains the same. If she gets on well with her she's not going to block her. Don't be stupid.

KnottyKnitting · 25/11/2023 17:41

"Also his mother messaging me worried about how down he will be and how we should all support him 🙄 is not helping"

Didums... He is amazingly lucky he didn't hurt anyone.

Drunk driver ploughed into two kids at a bus stop up the road from me a while back. One was killed and the other left with life changing injuries. Two kids with their whole lives ahead of them and their families and friends absolutely destroyed by blinding, entitled, selfish behaviour.

So sorry he has put you through this. Absolutely no sympathy at all for anyone who gets in a car drunk. Hope they throw the book at him.

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