Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

So many questions on this... How did he forget his house keys but take his car keys? How was he already pissed at 7pm and why did he want to leave before 9pm? That seems very early for any night out. Why on earth did he drive to an event where he knew he'd be drinking? How did you find out he was arrested?
Thankfully it's only someone's car he damaged and someone's life.
Good luck on the next boyfriend!

Yes, it's in the three dots menu for both iPhone and iPad.

Pretty hard to forget your car keys if you're driving. House keys, easier.

Oh dear. I'm not sure I could get past this. Take your time to decide what you want.

@Fluffygreyjumper, your DP is very lucky indeed that he didn't kill anyone while drink driving and that you stayed to support him against the odds. I'm really glad that he hasn't touched alcohol since he was convicted of drunk driving and that it has worked out for you in the interim.

However, there is nothing to indicate that the OP will encounter the same. She would be far wiser to cut her losses and run.

You mean editing? No, that's not a premium feature. I have the free version (not the app) and can edit.

What phone are you using? I just tested it on my old iPhone and it's there.

Oh fuck the both of them. I hope he loses his license and you kick him out, OP. His mother can give lifts to her poor baby boy.

By the same token, there is nothing to indicate that OP won't encounter the same. AIUI, @Fluffygreyjumper is saying a similar problem she and her partner faced can be recovered from, if the people and circumstances are right, because she and her partner have done it.

What did they do in your "day" if your drunken DH had wrecked his car, someone else's car and went to jail? You know, like happened here? I take it you didn't bother to read the whole thread or all the OP's posts?

"You made me mad because you won't listen to me. If you'd listen to me, I wouldn't have to hit you." is another winner. It not that some men don't think, it's that some men only think of a way to turn their misdeeds into someone else's fault.

Oh my goodness. Did you know he had taken the car? Drink driving is disgusting, it’s best to never take a car and plan to leave it until the next day as when people have had a drink they might dumb choices. This guy clearly told his partner he was on his way home, she assumed by train or maybe he said. Wonder how he was going to explain the car being in the drive and not in London. Did he park it half way?

my friend did this once, and I was completely shocked, so out of character. She even went on the local bypass, to drive home some guy. She told her partner she had driven the car a mile, he had no idea she had been snogging some guy. How she drove I don’t know and it’s why I don’t like driving late at night as you can guarantee there will be loads of drunk drivers at this time of year. Shocking, people’s lives ruined forever. It would take a lot for me to forgive this, and his mother can get lost. Yes he will be down, his mother can rally around him can’t she. Hope it doesn’t mean he loses his job OP. Hope you enjoyed takeaway and wine

Sorry this has happened OP.

So were the 2 missed calls at 9:30 his opportunity to phone you/the police phoning you?

Your Spidey senses were obviously working last night.

This kind of crap is posted so often on mumsnet. It was nothing to do with ‘spidey senses’ that the OP worked herself up into a ridiculous state before she knew anything was actually wrong: she said herself that she has a problem with not knowing where someone is/being able to get hold of them. In another scenario, like the ones predicted at the beginning of the thread, that would be seen as her problem at best, controlling emotional blackmail at worst. No need for pound shop mysticism.

100% what an apologist for drunk driving.

@annabel586 I hope you're planning to get this loser out of your life. You deserve a lot better. One strike and you're out as far as drink driving is concerned (imo).

Hope it doesn’t mean he loses his job OP

this should say "Hope this means he loses his job" - serves him right if he does. He'll definitely lose his licence.

These questions just don't matter. Sometimes you just have to accept people do things differently from you, as OP probably has other things on her mind.

Works do, could have started at 3pm. Our works things do because everyone lives far away and they also end well before 9pm.

Keys - lots of people keep house and car keys separate in case the othe person needs it or in case they have two cars to choose from. I do.

Big hugs OP 💐

OP, going forward you must make yourself THE priority.

Even now, has he or his mum acknowledged the distress that you had to endure? It’s still all about him !

Better on your own than with the wrong person !💐

Would be no conservation needed. I would just leave them. End of.

Drunk driving is so fcuking selfish and irresponsible! Glad it’s just someone’s car he destroyed - not life!

One of the problems with losing your license, especially in these circumstances is that it will impact the family for years to come. He'll have a years ban and have to retake his test. During that time he'll either have to use public transport, which is unreliable and expensive, use taxis or reply on the op to ferry him about. It's expensive and time consuming. Then when he gets his car back his insurance will run into the 1000's, for years which again will impact his family.

Not taking away the implications of him killing himself or someone else, it impacts for years and years his immediate family. It also has a stigma against it, my contract at work states if i lose my licence i lose my job. Let's hope he doesn't have the same. Some employers won't employ someone with a dd on their record

My keys are separate I can clip them together but if I'm going for a walk I'm not going to take my car keys its pointless 😒

He'll have a years ban and have to retake his test.

it’s not an automatic retest, that only if the magistrate court think it’s warranted

It's madness having two adults sharing 1 set of house keys. They should each have their own set of keys, plus have an independently held spare set for emergencies.