Partner not come home freaking out and angry

[annabel586]

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

Glad to read no-one was harmed which could have been the case. His mum's views are not good, no-one should defend a drunk driver.

I hope the courts are unsympathetic and he gets the maximum ban the law allows for.

OP, have you talked to him yet? Any update?

What a pillock - he wouldn’t be getting any sympathy from me! I wouldn’t be going on and on about it though - he’ll be all too painfully aware of what an idiot he’s been.

Ah his mum was wrong to send the text she did. But he’s her child. I’d worry about mine too.

Jesus Christ!!

I’m sorry op and I’m so sorry for some of the hideous responses on here. I would feel EXACTLY the same filled with worry. My ex used to do this and was either arrested or in hospital from fighting and used to try hide it from me.

some people on mumsnet are so insensitive. Your gut was right.

Mom is only texting you so you feel responsible for him, and won’t leave him. Cause if you do, she may have to parent her son. God forbid.

I hear too often when a relationship goes sour that the partners parents are amazing and always in touch and really supportive. Bollox. They just find you easier to deal with their silly offspring them having to take in the responsibility themselves.

That’s how I know my friends are in bad relationships, when they start telling me how good their mother is and how much they owe them.

total and utter manipulation.

LTB OP.

I keep my car key and house keys separate - not sure why I do that, but it suits me somehow.

I suppose your SIL’s colleagues liked her and probably thought she was a good person and worker. She may also have been alcoholic so they understood it was an illness and wanted to help her overcome it. I hope she did.

Cannot believe the rude comments from people whilst you were going out of your mind with worry at something that was quite clearly telling you in your gut something was not right.

Have you ever known him to drive a car even slightly over the limit before, or is this completely out of character op?

My neighbours son was murdered by a drunk driver. I met her 30 years after the event. She and her family NEVER got over it. Their lives were in ruins.
They both ended up dying in their 70's far to young for fit people which I am sure was down to the stress and awful grief.
I'm afraid this behaviour would be the end of the relationship for me OP.

Hope you’re ok OP! What a twat! He’ll be looking at a ban, hope he doesn’t drive for his job! To have already decided to get a cab then drive regardless?! He could have killed someone. Think of yourself now OP!

OP- just read your thread now. What a shocker! I couldn't just not say anything. Hope you are looking after yourself! x

the only thing that I’m slightly suspicious of is that there was a plan to drive hone at some point anyway? If it was straight from work then surely you’d arrange a lift to work in the morning or leave your car somewhere to collect the next day? OP said he was planning to drive home as he was ‘only going out for an hour or so’ so maybe casual drink driving is more acceptable to them?

In the very same post she also said he had a chest infection and wasn’t planning to drink, thus the car.

But she - and presumably he - knew he was drunk at 7...

Wow, what a shower of shit. I have no time for drunk drivers.
Hope you're feeling okay, OP.

We've all made really awful decisions when we're drunk.

No. We haven't. Not of this magnitude.

Yes, and that’s on him. The plan was he not drink, so he took the car. Saying that ‘maybe casual drink driving is more acceptable to them’ when this was hours later and she wasn’t there implies she was somehow involved in his stupid decision making.

So? What's your point? The OP didn't drive whilst drunk, she wasn't even there. Her knowing the prat was drunk by 7pm has no bearing on what HE chose to do. What happened was all on him and nobody else.

You're quite right. Anyone who goes out drinking needs to plan how they will get home without driving. He doesn't need anyone feeling sorry for him. It was his bad choice.

This is the sort of quality content I reas Mumsnet for

No, not an alcoholic, just a bit of a twat.

She may have overcome that, but I doubt it, somehow.

Me either. It's not hard to not have a drink, or to not drive if you choose to have a drink.
There are so many alcohol free options these days as well, which is what I take to parties these days.

It's a deal breaker for me.

So sorry OP.

Go home, support your husband he’s made a mistake. Every one is going if what’s if’s. No one was hurt he has to deal with the punishment. The end. Give yourself a break from mumsnet and give him a break. Mumsnet is a vile place to read recently when everyone else is so perfect, very much doubt it!

I think OPs MiL has found the thread.