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Original poster

Partner not come home freaking out and angry

821 replies

annabel586 · 25/11/2023 00:05

My partner went for Christmas party with work last night, he was going to drive but called me about 7 saying he was getting a cab home at 10. He tried calling me twice about 9.30 but I was in the shower so missed the calls.

Been calling him back ever since and he's not answering at all- rings through to voicemail. This is VERY unlike him as he always keeps in touch and calls me back etc

I know it's only been a couple of hours but I'm going out of my mind with worry now. Sad I'm so angry but upset as well, I would never do this.

OP posts:
Rafting2022 · 25/11/2023 01:18

Jesus Christ if you went ‘AWOL’ for an hour? Do you have to text him your whereabouts at all times then? It sounds like you swapped one problem partner for a different type…

Ramalangadingdong · 25/11/2023 01:20

Omg I have just woken up and wish I hadn’t picked up my phone because now I am going to be up with you until he’s back. Where the hell is he?

Rafting2022 · 25/11/2023 01:21

@TrickorTreacle How do you mean it’s not right he’s ‘broken contact’ on a night out? Is he not allowed to enjoy his works do without checking in every hour? He made the effort to call, it’s not his fault she was in the shower?

JamieKnows · 25/11/2023 01:21

"I wouldn't dream of doing this to someone"

You've made your mind up by the sounds of it. He's getting it both barrels at some point 😬 it's his works do, he rang, you didn't answer (you had a reason, he will too).

Plenty of posters have explained how you could just text him a photo of where you've hidden a key and go off to bed.

CremeEggSupremacy · 25/11/2023 01:21

I feel like some of you have never heard about this thing called 'caring about other people'. If he's told OP he's coming home at 10 and he doesn't do that, she's allowed to be worried or angry, especially given she has to wait up to let him in. Jesus. The way you're going on is like she's asked to track his whereabouts constantly. She's not being unreasonable at all if he's making her wait up for him to get back and then actually doesn't turn up, I'd be fuming

JamieKnows · 25/11/2023 01:22

"Omg I have just woken up and wish I hadn’t picked up my phone because now I am going to be up with you until he’s back. Where the hell is he?"

Eh? Do you know them irl? He's in London, or halfway home, from his works do. You can go back to bed now 🤪

BasiliskStare · 25/11/2023 01:24

@annabel586 , I see you mentioned past experiences but he has tried to get in touch , he is at a works Christmas Party - and they can go on a bit . You don't know that he is a) drunk or b) in danger . So try not to catastrophise .

Hadjab · 25/11/2023 01:24

Ramalangadingdong · 25/11/2023 01:20

Omg I have just woken up and wish I hadn’t picked up my phone because now I am going to be up with you until he’s back. Where the hell is he?

Really?

Ramalangadingdong · 25/11/2023 01:24

I’m sorry but I don’t think it is possible for an anxious person to hide a key outside their house and sleep soundly. I couldn’t. Unless it was in the glove compartment of my car. Otherwise no.

Ramalangadingdong · 25/11/2023 01:25

Hadjab · 25/11/2023 01:24

Really?

Show quote history

what do you think?

JamieKnows · 25/11/2023 01:26

I'm sure he's fine. After all, he's getting a taxi home from London to Kent 🤪. Why the lad can't afford to get a second key cut is the bigger question

Ramalangadingdong · 25/11/2023 01:26

JamieKnows · 25/11/2023 01:22

"Omg I have just woken up and wish I hadn’t picked up my phone because now I am going to be up with you until he’s back. Where the hell is he?"

Eh? Do you know them irl? He's in London, or halfway home, from his works do. You can go back to bed now 🤪

So can you.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 01:26

BasiliskStare · 25/11/2023 01:24

@annabel586 , I see you mentioned past experiences but he has tried to get in touch , he is at a works Christmas Party - and they can go on a bit . You don't know that he is a) drunk or b) in danger . So try not to catastrophise .

He was slurring his words at 7pm so definitely drunk

OP posts:
Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 01:28

Ramalangadingdong · 25/11/2023 01:24

I’m sorry but I don’t think it is possible for an anxious person to hide a key outside their house and sleep soundly. I couldn’t. Unless it was in the glove compartment of my car. Otherwise no.

Yeah I'm not prepared to do this. If he told me he was going to be out this late I would have left a key out and stayed at my mums.

But now because I've been expecting him back im in a panic

OP posts:
Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 01:30

Rafting2022 · 25/11/2023 01:18

Jesus Christ if you went ‘AWOL’ for an hour? Do you have to text him your whereabouts at all times then? It sounds like you swapped one problem partner for a different type…

That's really rude.

This is not normal for our relationship

OP posts:
BasiliskStare · 25/11/2023 01:31

Gordon Bennett - Apart from the chap being hopeless enough to forget his keys , ha ha , can he be trusted to get back from London to Kent. I suspect so.
OP I don't dismiss your worry but most people I know wouldn't expect DH to check in on the hour at a work / Christmas Party and maybe he was calling you to say he would be late . I don't know . But just at the moment I would not panic . Go to bed - take your phone with you and text to say he will have to phone you to let him in. I am sure all is fine .

WandaWonder · 25/11/2023 01:31

He is not a child, and neither are you I presume

Go to bed and act like grown up

Tilllly · 25/11/2023 01:32

I'd doze on the sofa until he's home
Then sort it out tomorrow

BasiliskStare · 25/11/2023 01:32

@annabel586 - OK he might then be a bit one over the eight but I would still just text and say phone when home . Are there decent trains ? He won't be the first chap to have stayed a bit longer at a party than he expected to . I think as another poster said , that's a discussion for tomorrow after strong coffee and toast.

LadyWiddiothethird · 25/11/2023 01:32

Bet he has stayed over at a work colleague,because he was to drunk to make it home.

I get how worried you are I would be the same.Get yourself comfy on the couch and see if you can get some rest.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 01:32

WandaWonder · 25/11/2023 01:31

He is not a child, and neither are you I presume

Go to bed and act like grown up

Why comment on this thread if you're not going to say something helpful?

A lot of these comments have been helping me calm down.

OP posts:
LumpSatAlone · 25/11/2023 01:33

Maybe he's lost his phone? So doesn't have your number to call you?
Could you message or call someone he's out with tonight?

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 01:34

LadyWiddiothethird · 25/11/2023 01:32

Bet he has stayed over at a work colleague,because he was to drunk to make it home.

I get how worried you are I would be the same.Get yourself comfy on the couch and see if you can get some rest.

This is what I'm trying to do now I've even turned the heating on haha

OP posts:
MrsCocoaJones1 · 25/11/2023 01:35

It's not right that the OP's partner has broken contact on a night out and thus she has a right to be concerned

i feel quite suffocated, reading this.

Original poster
annabel586 · 25/11/2023 01:35

LumpSatAlone · 25/11/2023 01:33

Maybe he's lost his phone? So doesn't have your number to call you?
Could you message or call someone he's out with tonight?

Yeah I thought this but then surely you would just come home? I don't know

I don't know anyone he is with unfortunately

OP posts: