To think he's 'lost the plot' not I

[ThankGoditsChristmas]

I'll start by saying that obviously these incidents aren't isolated and I'm physically ill from stress.

I honestly think my partner has lost the plot; 2 scenarios to highlight this...

Last week I left the hoover out, in the kitchen out of the way. I'd hoovered half of downstairs but didn't finish as partner was working and didn't want to be loud. So I put it to one side. Let me preface this by saying partner does zero housework, I constantly clean up after him and I am very tidy and house proud.
Partner does not mention the hoover all evening. I take our child to bed, walk back down to the kitchen and see the look on his face. Strangely when he goes on a rant it's honestly like he's a different person (not that he's ever particularly nice), his voice and expressions change.
He asks why I've left the hoover out. I apologise and explain I was going to finish using it. He tells me I've made us look like lower social class degenerates for leaving out the hoover. I can see he wants to be horrible and he will go on and on, so I say sorry, it's just a hoover and I'll put it away. He continues to ask what is wrong with me and says I'm not right in the head. I tell him it's just a hoover and he says but leaving it out isn't normal and I'm mentally ill. I say 'youre telling me I'm mentally ill because I left out the hoover, really' he replies 'yes you're mentally ill and need help'.
I move the hoover and tell him he won't break me by telling me I'm mentally ill all the time and he replies 'if I wanted to break you I'd just leav you, you'd never cope without me'. I walk off and spend the evening in a separate room. My son unfortunately heard all this upstairs.

6am this morning my child woke. I got up to see him, I disturbed partner getting up. He starts getting angry telling me that I fucking woke him. As I reached our bedroom door he says "you always destroy me. Will you stop screaming and shouting". I wasn't even talking. I reply calmly saying I'm not shouting and he says, yes you are. Stop screaming and shouting. I get into bed with our son but don't sleep as I'm so stressed. Partner then tried talking to me as normal. I find it all really odd.

Ive not posted about this before and I don't have finances to leave, which is the primary reason I haven't. I also don't have family I cam go and live with. I do have friends but they aren't going to house me and pay our bills. I've no idea who the stepson is, we have 2 children together.
Where do you suggest I go????

He should be the one to leave and pay the rent to support his children.

"You'd never cope without me" is a classic line from a gaslighting twat.

Have my first ever LTB and improve your life.

He's a lazy twat at that. What does he do to improve your life? Because he sounds dreadful.

I'm so sorry OP, I really don't want to pick holes, but in a previous post you said that your family hate him. So you must have some family. Why is it not a possibility for you to live with one of them temporarily?

Regarding money, have you looked into what UC you would be entitled to as a single parent? And do you work? If not, getting a job- any job- should be a priority for you right now.

The fact that you're not married is a good thing

Why? It sounds to me as if the OP would be far better off financially if she were married.

@2mummies1baby I do have family, I just meant I don't have family that I can just go and live with (for several reasons). I do have a part time job. Yes I'd be entitled to UC but not enough to pay for this house alone and I can't move elsewhere unless I claim UC. However can't claim UC unless I'm on my own.

Have you considered going into a refuge? This is what I did, you might be there for a while but you’d have a chance at getting local authority housing so you and the kids can be safe 😊

I would run. He is either mentally insane or he knows exactly what he is doing.
Either way I don’t think it is safe
Get a Payg phone to contact WA
Take yours into a phone shop to see if there is a tracker in it.

You have to look at what he is telling people and ask yourself why he wants to create a narrative that you are unhinges. What is he hoping to blame on your “mental illness”

It also could be to make sure he doesn’t have to pay CM if he convinces enough people that you are too mentally unwell to look after your children then SS will take them into care.
Friend had it happen to her because her exh didn’t want to pay CM anymore. He couldn’t be bothered to see the children ever again as they got in the way of his drug taking so he set SS on her and they lapped it up.

Have you considered he could be on drugs. I have known a couple of people over the years that suddenly turn nasty over something incidental.
One moment you are having a normal conversation and the next picking a fight with one of their friends

Speak to women's aid op. I found them invaluable when getting away from my ex.

This is very very clear abuse.
And the fact your child is in the house means they have now been abused too, whether he is abusive to the child or not. Whether the child heard you being abused or not. They are still exposed.

You need to leave that is the only option. There is already damage to you and your son.

And husband, if you are reading this.. you are an abusive psychopathic c* and I hope she leaves with your child and takes you to the cleaners. Get therapy. Your hatred and abuse is not normal.

So you know he's a cheat at least once, your apologising for a hoover being out, he does nothing to help and he is verbally abusive...Sorry why are you with him? I wouldn't be

I’d rather live in a refuge than put my kids and myself through this abuse.
OP you need to leave ASAP!

It's my understanding @ThankGoditsChristmas that you can claim UC if you're separated, even if still living in the same house. It would be best to discuss this with the UC people directly, you may need something like a solicitor letter to formally say that you are separated to prevent any fraud accusations. But definitely get legal advice and speak to UC.

Sounds a bit like my husband

You need to get out too so.