To think he's 'lost the plot' not I

[ThankGoditsChristmas]

I'll start by saying that obviously these incidents aren't isolated and I'm physically ill from stress.

I honestly think my partner has lost the plot; 2 scenarios to highlight this...

Last week I left the hoover out, in the kitchen out of the way. I'd hoovered half of downstairs but didn't finish as partner was working and didn't want to be loud. So I put it to one side. Let me preface this by saying partner does zero housework, I constantly clean up after him and I am very tidy and house proud.
Partner does not mention the hoover all evening. I take our child to bed, walk back down to the kitchen and see the look on his face. Strangely when he goes on a rant it's honestly like he's a different person (not that he's ever particularly nice), his voice and expressions change.
He asks why I've left the hoover out. I apologise and explain I was going to finish using it. He tells me I've made us look like lower social class degenerates for leaving out the hoover. I can see he wants to be horrible and he will go on and on, so I say sorry, it's just a hoover and I'll put it away. He continues to ask what is wrong with me and says I'm not right in the head. I tell him it's just a hoover and he says but leaving it out isn't normal and I'm mentally ill. I say 'youre telling me I'm mentally ill because I left out the hoover, really' he replies 'yes you're mentally ill and need help'.
I move the hoover and tell him he won't break me by telling me I'm mentally ill all the time and he replies 'if I wanted to break you I'd just leav you, you'd never cope without me'. I walk off and spend the evening in a separate room. My son unfortunately heard all this upstairs.

6am this morning my child woke. I got up to see him, I disturbed partner getting up. He starts getting angry telling me that I fucking woke him. As I reached our bedroom door he says "you always destroy me. Will you stop screaming and shouting". I wasn't even talking. I reply calmly saying I'm not shouting and he says, yes you are. Stop screaming and shouting. I get into bed with our son but don't sleep as I'm so stressed. Partner then tried talking to me as normal. I find it all really odd.

Funnily, when I questioned him on his cheating he said I was absuive and making him angry. Apparently asking about the cheating was an abusive act.
When he shouts he says it's my fault and I make him angry.

I too wonder who raises these defective men because it's generally their mothers.

OP do not let that be YOU!
Your son is living with this inhumane example of manhood . GET RID asap if only for the sake of your childs mental health.

@Theunamedcat wow. I got chills reading your post and it rings so true. He always calls me angry. Refers to me as angry to our son, who now makes comments about mummy being angry.
If I ever question my partner on anything, I'm told I'm angry. If like to make it clear I've never done anything to the man! In fact he's the one who has grabbed hold of me and pushed me in the past

So all this said what is the reason you haven’t left him? Genuine question x

Keep a record of things he says as an illustration of his poor behaviour should you need it in the future.
Stay safe.

I’ve read 4 of your posts and I can’t read any more. Get rid and get as far away from this abusive maniac as you possibly can.

I couldn't agree more.

When I first starting reading your op I laughed out loud as I don't even have a place to store my vacuum cleaner.

But reading on, your perpetrator's abuse is chilling.

Please consider calling the national domestic abuse helpline on 0808 2000 247. You do not need to make immediate decisions but explore your options.

Please also consider visiting Refuge's tech safety website to learn more about technology facilitated abuse and guides to secure your devices https://refugetechsafety.org/.

Sorry to hear this, it is appalling.

So now that you know from the consensus here that you need to get out asap and away from him, what are you going to do i.e. TOMORROW?

Do not waste time. Call Women's aid or webchat with them. They will advise what you can do, and if it's a refuge for the time being, so be it.

Life will be wonderful with him gone, even if you feel overwhelmed and indecisive right now. Think of that, and your son....

He’s paving the way to paint you as the abusive one. The things he says about you shouting and being abusive sound like they’re for the benefit of a secret recording he’s making. I could well believe he’s compiling fake evidence against you with this behaviour. Beat him to it. I’d attempt to get a secret video recording (if it isn’t too dangerous) l, contact the police to log his behaviour, and make plans to leave.

He sounds extremely dangerous potentially, and you will need to outsmart him.

I think there is something wrong with his mental health, not yours. 🙄

You’ve not said what you are going to do - he’s damaging your child and you. Get rid or get out.

Why are you still with him OP? Genuine question, not judging

This is so horrible to read. OP he is wanting to make out you’re the crazy one. Record EVERYTHING even if it’s a diary you keep in a friends house. Call the POLICE ASAP. Please.

Because she’s being consistently psychologically abused by a maniac.

Sounds like he wants your child to overhear and believe what he's saying about you. Abusive prick and I'd be careful he's not trying to create some false narrative for if you decide to leave him.

Poor kid being stuck in the middle of all that. You need to get rid of him for your bairn OP.

You are in a domestically abusive relationship and sadly your son is being exposed to it, something which is likely to cause significant and lasting consequences for him. You need to find a way to extract yourself and your son as a matter or urgency. You know this isn’t right and you need to listen to your gut and find the courage to do something about it. Start by confiding in trusted friends and family members about what’s really happening in your house.

Been there OP, get out before he grinds you down so much that you don’t have the strength.

Your kid doesn't have a choice, you have to protect him by taking him somewhere safe. You're the adult.

Has he ever had access to your phone? Could he have put any kind of tracking app on it? Or your car (if you have one)?
Do you have a trusted friend you could drop in on and use their phone/computer to contact Women's Aid?
If he has ever known any of your passwords, change them, put fingerprint log in on everything and/or two factor authentication that needs to be used every time you log into anything, in case he is reading your messages on another device.
He sounds truly evil.

@Ponoka7

Wow, was that meant to be hurtful or helpful?

UABVVVU to not leave this horrible horrible person. Why in God's name are you still with him,?

Take your child and get to a safe place OP. Don't delay. One of two things appears to be happening here. Either he is knowingly abusive and is escalating this at a fairly rapid pace, or he is having some sort of MH episode where he believes you are behaving in ways you are not, such as shouting and screaming. Either way he is unpredictable and potentially dangerous to you and your child. Please don't dismiss this as over dramatising, I've seen this pattern before. Protect yourself.

He sounds nuts to me, and nasty with it. You really need to leave him.