To find home births completely selfish

[Baabaaba]

No I know I’m going to sound like a grumpy ogre but having been recently diagnosed with cancer and feeling as crap as I can do I was given the displeasure to listen to my neighbours have a home birth last nigh. She and baby are both home and well now however they did need a blood transfusion and ended up going in an ambulance anyway. Am I being unfair to think why did they keep me and my two children up all night with her screaming which nearly killed her when she would have had a safer delivery in hospital and if of had a better night sleep.

I know this is selfish and I am being unfair but honestly why put your health and baby’s health in danger I’m genuinely want to be told how I’m being unfair

You need serious data to back up these claims!

It is unfair and arguably unsafe to state this as fact bearing in mind how many pregnant women might read this.

It wasn’t the baby being born that was traumatising imag first it was kind of nice (hard to explain to a 4 year old why a women was screaming non stop for 6 hours) but she also had around 10 members of family cheering her on and then all of a sudden the screams turned to panic the shared hall became fulfilled with people crying and frightened another 4 hours later a little baby cry which was actually beautiful to hear and then followed by more screams and hospital.

I would love every women to give birth how they want I defo didn’t want to have the emergency C-section that I had to have to save my son. But only if you can do it comfortably and it won’t disturb other people the lady who lives opposite us lost a baby to a still birth a year ago and she ended up booking a hotel. We live in a house which is converted flats so maybe I’m sounding so harsh but would you really want someone screaming for 10 hours in total scaring you two children whilst you’re unwell.

also this was a planned home birth the cakes balloons there birthing pools and all the family if it was a hour long I’m sure my view would be completely different and I fully know I’m being a moody bitch but it was selfish.

The posts wittering on about cost and resources are both inaccurate and tedious. Firstly, because as people have pointed out, home births are actually a cheaper option. Secondly, because there is a whole clinical agency in this country (NICE) dedicated to carrying out cost-benefit analyses of which treatments and services the NHS should offer. Why some people think they know better because their midwife once had to run out of an appointment to a home birth is beyond me. Thirdly, maternity services cost peanuts in general compared to other health services - in the absence of complications, giving birth in this country is relatively cheap, regardless of which option women go for.

DN has CP after things went wrong and were not spotted without the monitoring and immediate intervention available in a hospital. Not a first, so considered safe to not be in hospital.

Giving birth at home is the furthest thing from ‘selfish’.

Sorry my overwhelming joy at everything being fine, would outweigh my tiredness.

DN has CP after things went wrong and were not spotted without the monitoring and immediate intervention available in a hospital. Not a first, so considered safe to not be in hospital.

Weeks in NICU and the impact is lifelong.

Howling at this thread.

"selfish"
"i'd be fuming..."

"screaming for 10 hours"
" nicking midwives"

Honestly some of the nonsense on here.

Giving birth is so noisy how dare you do it in your home ?????!!!!

As a poster pointed out up thread , people can also die at home and sometimes that can cause disruption.

Birth or death.

And sometimes the rest of us just have to put up and shut up. In the grand scheme its no real hardship.

I'm sorry about your diagnosis OP. It's bound to affect your mood.

As someone who went through a year of full on cancer treatment I can tell you this isn’t the only night you will be awake and lots of them won’t be as nice as hearing a new life being born. Having cancer doesn’t give any of us the right to be a judgemental cow.

Home birth isn’t necessarily noisy. I had one and neither I nor the baby cried or screamed at all. Ok so the one next door to you was noisy 🤷‍♀️ guess you have a noisy neighbour.

I had a homebirth because the chances of requiring medical intervention are much higher if you go to hospital because the travel, noise, bright lights, strangers, and lack of control, is like a list of “How to slow labour and trigger medical problems”. Plus high infection risk in hospitals etc.

Absolutely, if medical problems occur, hospital is the best place to be, but with problems in labour the midwife normally knows an hour or two before intervention becomes necessary and there’s time to get there.

I’m sorry that you have cancer, four of my family have had it and it is shit I know. But maybe just go watch some comedy on YouTube and order your neighbour some flowers.

The serious data shows that home birth is in fact more dangerous, not safer! For first time mums in particular.

Quote from the NHS website, outlining NiCE guidelines regarding birth choices.

“ Home birth

If you have a straightforward pregnancy, and both you and the baby are well, you might choose to give birth at home.

Giving birth is generally safe wherever you choose to have your baby.

But if you’re having your first baby, home birth slightly increases the risk of serious problems for the baby – including death or issues that might affect the baby's quality of life – from 5 in 1,000 for a hospital birth to 9 in 1,000 for a home birth.

If you’re having your second baby, a planned home birth is as safe as having your baby in hospital or a midwife-led unit.

It's rare but, if something goes seriously wrong during your labour at home, it could be worse for you or your baby than if you were in hospital with access to specialised care.”

source: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/preparing-for-the-birth/where-to-give-birth-the-options/#:~:text=But%20if%20you're%20having,1%2C000%20for%20a%20home%20birth.

Unless she was declining to go into hospital through an emergency situation, the shared hall was not full of crying howling people for FOUR HOURS because midwives have a low tolerance for transfer in emergency situations. Women who are having emergency situations aren’t just encouraged to stay at home for four hours before the baby’s born. At the first sign of trouble it’s recommended to transfer by blue light ambulance. And I also don’t know any midwives who would encourage ‘10 members of family cheering’ for hours either. This all sounds very hyperbolic…

Seeing as you asked for serious data..
From the CQC -

Ten per cent of maternity services are rated as inadequate overall, while 39% are rated as requires improvement. Safety and leadership remain particular areas of concern, with 15% of services rated as inadequate for their safety and 12% rated as inadequate for being well-led.

That’s half of maternity units rated as not good enough - that is a dangerous and terrifying statistic given how much it raises the risk of something going wrong.

It is unfair and arguably unsafe to state this as fact bearing in mind how many pregnant women might read this

Would you rather pregnant women were lied to and told their local maternity unit is full of rainbows and unicorns? Pregnant women aren’t stupid quivering messes, they can make their own valid choices and given how many units are dangerous, home birth is a safe and valid choice for many women.

Every NHS midwife I know has a very low threshold for transferring a homebirth to hospital (sometimes too low if they are not confident). I can't imagine a situation where people are screaming and crying for 4 hours and no-one is calling an ambulance. As soon as we hear or see any sign that things aren't progressing as they should or there's concern over maternal or fetal wellbeing we are calling that ambulance and calling delivery suite to say we are transferring. The only time it won't happen is when the woman refuses transfer (very rare) but those midwives will still escalate and get ambulances on standby.

Especially when this woman apparently is screaming so loud non stop for 10 hours that a woman over the road has to get a hotel.

Giving birth doesn't give anyone the right to be a disruptive and selfish cow.

If anything, cancer trumps birth, birth is a choice.

God people REALLY hate it when women have babies don’t they.

One doesn’t ‘trump’ the other at all, they can co-exist quite happily.

If you want total nighttime silence 365 nights of the year move into a rural property. If you live in a flat, terraced, estate etc then other people’s noise is part and parcel of that. She wasn’t throwing a rave she was giving birth.

I’m still intrigued as to how a woman gave birth, for blue lighted to hospital, lost so much blood she needed a transfusion, had the transfusion, recovered and was discharged and chatting to a neighbour in less than 24 hours.

DGM had two home birth in the 40's, all good, then a disastrous hospital birth in the 50's ( when it was deemed safer?) which led to lifelong complications. I selfishly? chose an ELCS.
Let people choose as they wish, but sorry you're dealing with illness OP and wishing you a speedy recovery.

Very intriguing… much like everything else in this story 😅

I read that as half of maternity SERVICES being not good enough, not maternity UNITS. So the lack of good care would affect anyone who uses an NHS midwife or consultant, regardless of the venue of the birth. It would be that inadequate service that would decide which pregnancies meet the "safe enough for home birth" criteria, the inadequately trained midwife assisting in the birth, etc.

having been involved in campaigning to reduce maternal mortality in bangladesh for the last 20 years, where we are desperate to encourage women to give birth in a proper medical facility - and having seen the reduction in maternal and neonatal deaths and illness as a direct result of women giving birth in hospitals- homebirth is bonkers. especially as the ambulance wait times are ridiculous now and the fact that midwives are not nursing trained anymore. although great at handling births, they are simply not qualified to deal with a deteriorating mother or child.

even with low risk births, things go wrong. transferring a patient in mid labour is no joke. even in the hospital, emergencies in obstetric patients and new born are very challenging and harrowing when it goes wrong (i work in obstetrics in the uk ).

people can take a very narrow look at the stats and justify anything. but the risk is simply not worth it. some on here would have had good experiences, that's great... but not everyone is unfortunately so lucky.

I don't care about labouring women being "selfish", I am not sure how they can be when they are literally bringing another human to the world? as far as I am concerned, I am happy to give them a big stick to hit their partners with if that will help them feel better, but I want them to be safe

The UK is not Bangladesh.

Why is it so hard for people to accept that maternity units can be very dangerous places due to their inadequacy?

@Choosychoice - as it happens I had independent midwives. But even if I hadn’t that’s not really how it works.

Perhaps read my post again?

I am fully aware of the differences between UK and Bangladesh, i have a background in studying the differences in global health systems.

I have been working in maternity units in the UK for over a decade as an anaesthetist. I am a uk trained doctor and I fully recognise the issues and inadequacies. but at home the patient is on their own with NO help. insufficient help is better than no help.

I am tired of patient safety being compromised because certain (misogynist in parts - women don't need healthcare!) agendas are being pushed. see the report on the Royal Shrewsbury Trust. running resus on dying mums is definitely one of the worst things I have experienced. because maternal mortality is so rare in this country now, people have forgotten that it can happen and it was not too uncommon even a fifty years ago.

I fully recognise the issues and inadequacies. but at home the patient is on their own with NO help

But that's not true. They have (at least) one midwife attending solely to their care. Something that is not guaranteed in a hospital and the reason why 2 people I know had catastrophic birth outcomes in the hospital.