To find home births completely selfish

[Baabaaba]

No I know I’m going to sound like a grumpy ogre but having been recently diagnosed with cancer and feeling as crap as I can do I was given the displeasure to listen to my neighbours have a home birth last nigh. She and baby are both home and well now however they did need a blood transfusion and ended up going in an ambulance anyway. Am I being unfair to think why did they keep me and my two children up all night with her screaming which nearly killed her when she would have had a safer delivery in hospital and if of had a better night sleep.

I know this is selfish and I am being unfair but honestly why put your health and baby’s health in danger I’m genuinely want to be told how I’m being unfair

The logic is nuts though.

Fancy 'selfish' women having the timerity to require expensive midwives. ( as is their legal right ) They should be self sacrificing to prop the NHS.

Maybe that should extend to sick people generally or people dying at home?

In all fairness a pp did get criticised for being annoyed her appointment was cancelled to accommodate a home birth. Either women are selfish for wanting the medical care they are owed or they’re not?

The absolute ignorance of calling a home birth "selfish" because of " using up midwives" from the main service though.

And for the pp who got criticised for complaining about a missed appointment.

Well, I ask you? Missed appointment/giving birth?
Being under resourced in any department is NOT about selfish women.

People just LOVE to blame women for everything and pregnant women get extra Hate Points. there is an unacceptable gap in the quality of women’s healthcare and people would happily make it harder for women or give them less choice even in their most vulnerable times.

I agree and I don’t think home birth is selfish at all and I agree no woman should feel guilty for expecting the care she has been promised.

I’m just pointing out that if it isn’t selfish to prioritise yourself then it isn’t selfish for pp to be annoyed her appointment was cancelled or even for op to be annoyed she was kept up all night by screaming when she’s very unwell.

Nothing can or should be done about any of those situations but they’re all entitled to their feelings under the same vain aren’t they

Well tbh OP should be complaining about the thickness of her walls.

But she's choosing something different.

Of course they dont, why would they?

With a homebirth there are certain criteria that you would need to meet ( of course you can still go ahead and do it if you wanted) before you would be advised for a homebirth.

I am a big believer in homebirths however if I was deemed unsuitable for whatever reason this would make me reconsider.

Mine was a community midwife.

The poster I replied to said that hospital environments lead to complications. This is not that happens, in the main. It is vastly more likely that those at medium to high risk of complications have planned hospital births, thus hospital births are associated with higher complications, but do not cause them. Its classic; correlation does not equal causation.

You cannot argue that home births are statistically safer because of less complications when only a tiny proportion of the lowest of low risk groups are having them.

Only 45% of pregnancies in the UK are deemed low risk for complications

You sound like a dickhead, quite frankly

so do you.

I’m glad home births aren’t a thing where I am. I would absolutely hate hearing someone give birth for hours on end. And to make it worse, have small children witness it. I totally understand the OP. However I guess people should be able to have home births if they so wish.

I don't suppose anyone really wants to hear someone else giving birth for hours on end.

But it's most very probably a bit of a one off, not a routine occurrence, that you file under "give and take " or "life and death situation".

And let's face it, not everyone 'screams for hours'.

Ah ok, whilst i agree with you somewhat, its really intervention that ca lead to more intervention.

So an induction, can lead to an epidural and can lead to c section.

Some would argue ( not me but some) that if said mother didnt have the induction the outcome could have been better.

Im an advocate for home birth, but more importantly im an advocate for woman birthing how they wish from freebirths right the way up to elective c sections.

But above all, people need to be informed, research their decisions and choose what fits them.

No it isnt, read all the posts on this thread with evidence otherwise

This is baffling. OP I understand you are going through a rough time and will be extra sensitive, and I agree that having a bunch of people corralled in her flat isn’t ideal.

however, surely home birth is the best reason for that and it would have been much more unreasonable if they had done it for any other reason??

to everyone else saying home births are selfish, I find this so, so odd. I can only assume the vast majority are completely misinformed, and don’t even get me started on people criticising the mum for being rude or impolite for giving birth to a child in her own home!! I wouldn’t take a shit on the street but surely that’s allowed in my home without being impolite??

what horrendous misogynistic conditioning is it when a woman being polite is a priority when she is in labour. I would be willing to bet that more women and babies have died because a woman was uncomfortable to speak up that something didn’t feel right or her pain was much higher than expected, than low risk women choosing to give birth in their homes with the support of community midwives.

there is endless judgement on mothers in our society and it is heartbreaking that it starts here. Of all the awful things people do and can do to others, all the genuinely selfish behaviour out there, I cannot believe this would even register as a concern.

YANBU. It's enormously self-centred. Those who've had home births would have a very different plan I suspect if they knew what can go wrong and how quickly it can happen in the most routine of births. Seems wild to me to go through the hassle of pregnancy and presumably want your baby to arrive safe and well and then to take such a huge risk with their life and health right outta the gate.

what horrendous misogynistic conditioning is it when a woman being polite is a priority when she is in labour.

I totally agree with this. It is horrifying to see this vocalised

I Agree with you. Who wants to listen to shrieking and groaning all night long.

Having children is selfish, no matter where the little monster pops out.

This.

There is a lot of statistical information on homebirthing that isn't widely distributed because it is purposely not actively encouraged.

what horrendous misogynistic conditioning is it when a woman being polite is a priority when she is in labour.

This. Some of the opinions expressed in this thread are pretty horrific. It’s no surprise that there is such a big problem with how pregnant and birthing women are treated and the high number of women who have unnecessarily traumatic birth experiences.

And not to mention the fact that women being poorly and disrespectfully treated in hospitals, having bad experiences there is often one of the reasons she is considering birthing at home in the first place

Thank goodness for home births!!

We didn't even have a midwife for one of mine so my DH delivered him.

It was the most glorious and beautiful home water birth.

My extensive research on the subject of home births meant that both my DH and I knew that it is SAFER for the mother and baby and a far better experience for both for a low risk birth.

Home birth experiences online make wonderful reading if you are open minded.

I don't know a single hospital birth experiences to be any where as wonderful.