To find home births completely selfish

[Baabaaba]

No I know I’m going to sound like a grumpy ogre but having been recently diagnosed with cancer and feeling as crap as I can do I was given the displeasure to listen to my neighbours have a home birth last nigh. She and baby are both home and well now however they did need a blood transfusion and ended up going in an ambulance anyway. Am I being unfair to think why did they keep me and my two children up all night with her screaming which nearly killed her when she would have had a safer delivery in hospital and if of had a better night sleep.

I know this is selfish and I am being unfair but honestly why put your health and baby’s health in danger I’m genuinely want to be told how I’m being unfair

YANBU, she’s taken an ambulance away from someone who could have had it had she been safely ensconced in the hospital to give birth. At a time when ambulance waiting times are off the charts.

YANBU, she’s taken an ambulance away from someone who could have had it had she been safely ensconced in the hospital to give birth. At a time when ambulance waiting times are off the charts.

How very dare she!

Ambulances are for other people!

Why do her needs trump that of the OP?

Because she's bringing another person into this world. That's kind of a big deal. It doesn't happen often so suck it up on this one occasion that it did.

I’ll say. What a silly post from them. 🤦🏼‍♀️

That’s the net effect. She’s potentially lost someone’s life to have a home birth.

My elderly, disabled mum often needs ambulances for things she can’t control, I’d be fuming if she was kept waiting because of a home birth.

*That’s the net effect. She’s potentially lost someone’s life to have a home birth.

My elderly, disabled mum often needs ambulances for things she can’t control, I’d be fuming if she was kept waiting because of a home birth.*

You know you're fuming at the wrong people don't you?

There could never be another home birth and there would still be an ambulance crisis.

Expectant mothers changing their choices are not going to fix that. But you crack on.

That’s the net effect. She’s potentially lost someone’s life to have a home birth.

Dear god. What else is this women's fault. 🤦‍♀️

Are you equally angry with people who use ambulances as a result of sports injuries, car crashes when the driver could have taken public transport, or illnesses which might have been preventable as a result of better hygiene practices or lifestyle changes? Do you get angry with women taking up operating theatres for preventable/elective Caesareans, too? And how does that anger compare with the policymakers who chose to systematically underfund the NHS and the people who vote for them?

Now I come to think about it, just think of if all the medical attention received by pregnant women in general! All those obstetricians and midwives who could have specialised in hear disease or cancer if people didn't selfishly insist on having babies in the first place.

Midwifes encourage home births 🤔

Midwifes encourage home births 🤔

The ambulances!

I think there are two different questions here. (1) Is it selfish to have a home birth, because you may disturb the neighbours, who may have their own health problems and need their sleep? (2) Is it selfish to have a home birth, because it is less good for the baby?

My answer to (1) is No. One is at least as likely to disturb patients who need their sleep if one gives birth in a hospital.

My answer to (2) is 'It depends'. If you are having an uncomplicated pregnancy, especially with a second child, a properly planned homebirth can be safer than a hospital birth. If you have a high-risk pregnancy but insist on a homebirth for ideological reasons, this could be selfish.

Just because you have cancer doesn't make you special I'm afraid. The world still goes round. Big hugs xx

Wow that’s probably the most backhanded comment I’ve ever seen. I could also say that about labouring women but I won’t because I believe both make a person special and worthy of a little understanding. Op take no notice. I hope you’re feeling better and wish you luck with your cancer journey. 💐

Who will think of the poor elderly mums deprived of ambulances being used by these selfish homebirthers.

This has to be the most ridiculous argument against homebirths ever. The actual number of ambulances used by women being transferred into hospital is minimal. Maybe get angry about all those selfish people using cars and crashing them when they could have walked or stayed at home.

Ultimately, yes. She chose to make all of that noise in a place it would affect her neighbours. Please note I didn't say the neighbour was bad for doing this, just that it's understandable OP is grumpy about being forced to stay up listening to someone else labour, because of a decision she chose.

You can make choices for yourself,
but others are allowed to think those choices are selfish if they negatively affect someone else!

So you're blaming the breakdown of the ambulance service on women needing emergency medical help during home births?

How about blaming smokers having heart attacks?

Obese people having strokes?

Or even better the government that has run the bloody service into the ground?

@RoomOfRequirement but OP choosing to have children has surely caused noise issues for her neighbours, that's something she chose.

That's not really the point, but I guess, so has her neighbour so they're even? We could argue anyone having children at all is selfish really.

Are you really saying you don't understand why someone would be grumpy out of tiredness and think it's selfish to keep your neighbours awake while you scream in pain? Even if the pain is for a good reason and you want a home birth and all of that fun stuff. I'm sure there was no malice intended, she probably had no idea OP would hear her. That doesn't mean it didn't negatively affect someone else.

@RoomOfRequirement yes I really am saying that!! Really really really! It's one night! I'd just be bloody reduced that she and baby were fine and take food and offer help.

But I guess we are all different 🤷‍♀️!

That doesn't negate the fact that hospital doesn't equal complications on a population level. Low risk births are also the minority of births (45%) so it makes no sense to omit medium and high risk births from data on birth outcomes, because most women will fall into these categories

It makes perfect sense when providing data for women in low risk category to make their decision. It compares like for like in hospital and home birth setting. For second low risk births, baby outcomes the same and outcomes for the mother slightly better at home.

Home birth not recommended for medium to high risk births, which the vast majority adhere to. Therefore including those stats in the low risk category analysis would make the data less useful for low risk women trying to make their choice.

I used to think home births were unnecessarily risky but actually so many women are completely ignored when they have concerns while labouring in hospital (I had to beg to have the monitor put on me and using the call bell meant pretty much nothing - big problems it turned out), that I'm not sure how much riskier it is anymore. At least with a home birth you usually have a midwife 1:1 for more of it.