To find home births completely selfish

[Baabaaba]

No I know I’m going to sound like a grumpy ogre but having been recently diagnosed with cancer and feeling as crap as I can do I was given the displeasure to listen to my neighbours have a home birth last nigh. She and baby are both home and well now however they did need a blood transfusion and ended up going in an ambulance anyway. Am I being unfair to think why did they keep me and my two children up all night with her screaming which nearly killed her when she would have had a safer delivery in hospital and if of had a better night sleep.

I know this is selfish and I am being unfair but honestly why put your health and baby’s health in danger I’m genuinely want to be told how I’m being unfair

Agree. You should have to pay go private for home births. We don’t have the NHS resources to provide this nice to have option.

Researchers found that the average cost for a home birth was lowest, at £1,066. The most expensive were hospital births, at £1,631 on average, while midwife-led births came in at around £1,450.

from here https://www.nicswell.co.uk/health-news/study-says-home-births-cost-effective#:~:text=Researchers%20found%20that%20the%20average,in%20at%20around%20%C2%A31%2C450.

PlimplePlop I hope you make a full recovery. But what a horrible ironically selfish attitude you have!

OP I'm going against the grain here and saying that yes, I do think your neighbour is selfish.

Clearly you live in homes that aren't particularly well insulated and she should've taken that into account.
Perhaps it's your neighbour who needs to move to a detached property and not you, as you seem to be considerate to noise levels and she is not.
I'm still sniggering at the poster upthread who was thrilled by the prospect of a new life entering the world when her neighbour gave birth noisily..lol

What this woman does in her own home has nothing to do with you . Unless she is loudly giving birth every night of the week. You may want to get onto Rightmove to look for a detached house and also look up home birth statistics (they’re not more dangerous than hospital births)

We could argue any treatment that prolongs life is a nice to have option too.

Do you have any data to back up the claim that hospital births are cheaper than homebirths?

I ended up with an EMCS with my first but i laboured all night at home with a back to back baby and spent the whole time screaming into a pillow. Didn’t occur to me to worry about the neighbours whose dog makes as much noise on a daily basis.

Congrats to your neighbour and a dose of perspective to you.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis.

My second was a HB in Germany. It was very well screened for safety. I don’t mean extra scans, but for example when I was overdue they had to check the amniotic sac. Apart from scans all appointments were at a midwife centre. I’d imagine that’s more economical to run as well as being a pleasant environment.

I did worry about disturbing our neighbours in the flat below but then I was overdue so it all happened while they were on holiday.

Sorry about your diagnosis OP, wishing you a very swift recovery.

I totally agree. I wish there were statistics about how many woman need an ambulance. I think it’s much higher than talked about. Anyone I know who has done one has ended up in hospital. I get the benefits, but if it goes wrong it’s a drain on already stretched resources. If there were plenty to go around, it wouldn’t be an issue.

However; I would never ever ever agree to one if I wasn’t in a detached house. That’s just grim for everyone involved. Neighbours will never unhear it.

I think home births on the NHS are selfish, but not for the reason you describe (keeping the neighbours awake.) There's a finite number of midwives available at any given time, and in a hospital setting they can look after a few women as a labouring woman doesn't need 2 midwives until the very end. But a home birth ties up two midwives for longer.

I wouldn't give a toss at a one off disturbance!

Bet your kids noise annoys your neighbours at times....who cares 🤷‍♀️

I had a wonderful home birth with baby number 3, I highly recommend it! In my own bed and tucked up minutes afterwards with a cup of tea. No need to find childcare in the middle of the night for the others. Bliss!

Aye then so should non emergency sections. Like just try harder smh

Sometimes home births are the safest option. I live 45 minutes from my nearest hospital and I almost didn’t make it there in time with my first as I never had regular contractions and he came incredibly quickly. They told me that day that I would need to plan for a home birth for any future children. I can’t see why you’re getting wound up about this, it’s not like it’s going to be happening every Friday night. It’s over now.

My midwife really tried to push a home birth on to me with my 3rd. Absolutely not for me, couldn’t see one single positive and actually still can’t even after reading through this thread.
Others obviously do!
Was very grateful for the hospital when I had my first.
I wouldn’t like to hear my neighbour in labour through a shared wall, yanbu for that part but some women have a choice and it’s up to them. Do I think it’s selfish? Suppose it depends on the reasons for why they are choosing it. If it’s because they’re ’an Earth mother who doesn’t want any medical intervention’ then I think that’s a very different situation to someone who’s had a kid already, birth was straightforward and pregnancy is going well but will be transferred to hospital if needed,

I'm sorry you're going through a rough and unfair time, but someone bringing life into the world in a way they're comfortable with, and having a healthy baby is never a bad thing. You will sleep better tonight.

And the safety issue of a home birth shouldn't concern you, they're not allowed intentionally if they're unsafe. If the birth was unexpected you should be more worried!

After my first I was told to have a homebirth.

But don’t worry I only stole those two midwifes for a total of three hours, I used no drugs. I even provided snacks and drinks.

My third there wasn’t enough midwifes so I went it and let dh run riot in the snack room and used the birth pool all that hot water and four hours of midwifes time even tho I was done in under an hour because discharge doctors yawn. Would have been cheaper at home for them.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, OP, and I wish you well.

I got talked into a homebirth with DC2 (against my better judgement, I was very dubious about the noise and mess!), mainly because I had a straightforward first birth and a relatively quick one and she was worried I might not make it to the hospital. DC2's birth was quick and very straightforward. One midwife throughout, the second only attended briefly for the birth.

I had a similar experience for DC3 as a result. Much quicker recovery, much less hassle for the NHS as a result (we provided food for the midwife while she was with us (longer labour!).

The neighbours were completely unaware each time. And DC1 was asleep in bed tor DC2''s arrival so no stressing there.

I hope you get some sleep tonight.

Perfect backwards logic, well done. Are you an NHS manager by any chance?

The insane idea that one midwife can (safely??) look after several women in labour at once in hospital is part of the reason women choose hb.

To clarify, it was my community midwife's suggestion, not mine.

Wow YABU. Are you always this grumpy. Imagine someone coming on here to complain about their neighbour undergoing chemo being sick and wailing and groaning all night. It probably wouldn't happen because they'd rightly get flamed. I don't quite see what you having cancer has to do with anything unless it's turned you into a complete misery guts.

I guess you aren't planning on popping round to offer congratulations and a casserole then?

OP, it's one night, it's not like they do it all the time, it's most likely the most important day of your neighbours life. You can't be against home births, unless you're also against other health choices that involve being at home. People often want to die at home, there may be noise involved with that and health care workers coming and going. But this is life. Unless you have the advantage of moving to the middle of nowhere, this is part of life.

Oh I feel all warm and Christmassy after reading that. Did you at least suggest she head out to the shed and provide a manger OP?

Do you know for a fact it was a homebirth by choice? I nearly had a homebirth and it wasn't choice because I was only in labour about 30mins before the baby's head was showing.