What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

A 2-3 hour lunch can be a bit long for a 3 year old to sit and draw. Especially if the adults want to actually catch up and can't speak to the child attentively for the entire 3 hour lunch.

Maybe don't subject a 3 year old to a 2-3 hour lunch then, it's a bit cruel, make arrangements for the adults to have a meal out with the child being at home with a baby sitter,

It's good for them to come!

Well, no, it's not 'good for them to come' if the only way they can get through it without kicking off is having an iPad on speaker plonked in front of them. By all means take them in a cafe or to a pub for a drink and sandwich for half an hour, to get them used to learning to sit at the table etc. As they get older they'll get more acclimatised - that's great. But It's not 'good for them to come' if they're bored shitless after half an hour and are only able to be placated by noisy devices or running around and screaming.

A 2-3 hour lunch can be a bit long for a 3 year old to sit and draw.

If you want to 'catch up' with other adults for two or three hours, and your kids can't be entertained during that time by anything other than a screen that makes a noise, you need to meet for lunch at each other's houses or go to a pub with a playground or something.

Or just make the kids use headphones. All this hassle and argument could be avoided if you stick some fucking headphones on them.

It's because, fundamentally it's at odds with what meal times are about.

Meal times are social occasions, where we're supposed to talk and be together sharing food and experiences of the day/recent past. The tablet stops that, they're such a attention absorbing device, and intrinsically antisocial by way of them being personal devices meant for one person to use at a time.
Colouring etc seems far more suited as an activity as it is social because you can 'mindlessly' colour and still have a conversation or colour with someone else.

There's a strange expectation that we have meals at restaurants, when it's such a strange concept at heart. Kids should be free to join in the meal and when finished go and socialise/play perhaps together in the same room, maybe playing a boardgame, whilst the adults socialise at the table still.
All in the same space, enjoying each other and near to each other.

But people want kids to be quiet and sedentary at restaurants, it's unnatural.

It's not cruel. It's taking them along to something that isn't centred around them. They also need to learn that not every single thing is entirely centred around their enjoyment.

This, I had children before smart devices so don't see the need for it at all. Families went out in public perfectly well before they were invented. That's my opinion, it's your choice to see it as a judgement

I do understand that if you've got a distressed child in a public place and you know an ipad will work, why people would use them in that instance. But for older children who it seems like it's the norm for them to just sit down and get the ipad out it's a bit sad. They just look like they are being ignored while the adults talk.

I do agree. Life isn’t Centre Parks for kids and I believe learning to cope with boredom occasionally isn’t a bad thing.

Surely you're teaching them exactly the opposite, giving them an iPad is literally centreing things around their enjoyment

This is one of those posts where OP really wants to hear that it's fine, her friends do it so it's all ok.
I don't care if the noise can't be heard. I have more tolerance for early dining in a cheaper restaurant. When I see families do this though it strikes me as a little sad really...

TBH British people are utterly intolerant of children in public spaces full stop, it's a very anti-child society IMO.

I am totally confused by this thread. Why does anybody even have a view on how you parent your own DC's, @kittensss, so long as they're not disturbing anybody else.

Some people don't have enough to focus on in their own lives. 🙄

My DS doesn't have an ipad when we go out for a meal, but he does read a book. Is that also dreadful parenting, or....?

If proper headphones, so I can't hear it, I don't care what other people do with their kids.

Mine were brought up before headphones, and no, I didn't whack/threaten them or let them run riot. But what you do with yours is your own business, as long as it doesn't affect me.

I want to have a debate and I'm just stating my opinion.

We are having a healthy debate of different opinions on the matter.

If they have finished their food and have headphones on then i don't care. I really think it is awful when children are given a screen whilst eating and no i don't want to hear the screeching noise of a cartoon on a tablet.

There's loads of restaurants that have play parks and kids areas, Brewer's fayre type chain restaurants. I think of you're planning on having a long adult catch up maybe choose a place that caters to kids better.

Fine with headphones. Absolutely not with any volume of sound at all.

When I went to the pub as a kid it was a 'working man's' type place and the men had a separate bar! The women and kids sat in another area.

We rarely ate out. It was a treat. I am an eighties kid. The whole concept of expecting to be entertained is a new thing.

I don't judge though as I have three boys (now grown) and two are asd. Anything that would have distracted them during a meal I would have lapped up. I do dislike lots of cartoon related noise though.... agree on headphones a must.

The only time I ever..... are the rare times I go for a pub lunch and a couple sit down with a baby and the first thing they do is hand over the phone. No attempt at interaction. I just think... why bother? (And I am on about an under two)

I don't really get the issue with the volume either, personally I don't find Peppa Pig any more irritating than listening to a big group of adults cackling and exchanging banalities.

This. Your post is about people being judgy because you use screens… then you say the complete opposite and that everyone praised you for how well behaved the kids were? Which is it????

Sound off or headphones fine, it's your business. I despise hearing devices in restaurants. I include those stupid fuckers who make long video calls on speaker phone. Just stop.

I would be mildly judgy if a kid was watching a screen for hours without any attempt for them to be included in the occasion by the adults; or if the screen came out the second you sat down. But I'm just a random on the internet so I wouldn't expect anyone to care what I thought about that.

Did he get the moody/silent teenage years at all? We all hope for a little bit of respite as my DS is 10 now 😂

Headphones only.

A lot of parents let their kids have the device’s sound on. It’s very irritating.

I am in my 50s, going out for a meal when little was rare.

Can remember being on holiday at the seaside, stayed in a B&B where you weren't allowed to hang around too much during the day. It was a Sunday and very little was open apart from the local pub. It was lashing with rain (which it always seemed to do when we were on holiday!) and my parents weren't allowed to bring us into the pub as were too young, so they had to bring sandwiches outside to us, and we didn't have a car then, so had to sit in the pouring rain eating soggy sandwiches!