What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

You can let your 5 year old watch a Saw movie for all I care. I couldn’t give a shit what other people let their children do.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

exactly! Just finished my reply then read yours. Similar responses.

I don’t use screens to entertain my 2 year old so I can have an hour(s) long meal. I eat places with him where I can take him out once he’s bored. Somewhere that has a soft play attached, a playground outside, or just some sort of area to run around.

I accept that not being able to enjoy a long leisurely meal out is part of parenting very small children. I don’t except him to sit quietly for hours & I know the damaged screens do to such young children so I chose not to use them, especially in this context. All that being said, I could not give a shit what you do or don’t do with your kids unless you are abusing them, which you aren’t.

As PP have said, someone making a different choice isn’t a judgement on your choice. My toddler is screen free, but he will not eat a single vegetable. It’s swings and roundabouts.

You've conflated and confused several things here:

1. People on MN will obviously be more willing to give their opinion to strangers, on a thread which asks for it, than other customers in a pub would. It doesn't mean people IRL are less judgemental than people online, people are people, it's just a question of politeness and knowing when to share your views. Young children's behaviour IRL would have to get very bad indeed before most British people would publically complain about it. This doesn't mean they don't have an opinion.
2. As someone said upthread, people sharing how they raise their own children and what expectations they have about screen use, how long it is appropriate to expect children to sit at a table for, and so on, is not being 'judgy'. Most parents have opinions about their preferred parenting style, the vast majority do not think that their way is the only correct way or waste their time worrying about how other children are being raised as long as it neither impacts on them nor appears abusive.

If I see you out in a pub with your kids, I have no idea what your circumstances are: your children might have SN, you might need some support from friends after a recent tragic event, you might have an abusive home life where you were coerced into bringing the children out for a long meal even though you knew it would be inappropriate. I know none of those things about you so I really don't give a second thought as to why your children are on screens when we're sitting in the same pub. Crack on. I nevertheless have opinions about the way I raise my own children and our approaches differ. I don't see why that would bother you.

I'd wonder why the choice is badly behaved kids or screens and why the parents can't raise their kids to behave in public without screens. It's basic manners and they shouldn't be ruining meals out without a screen.

^ same thoughts here really.

They're not "learning to cope with boredom" though if they are given screens to placate or entertain them.

Ok, totally unreasonable. If it's loud enough for the kids to hear, it's loud enough to irritate other people and the tinny noise of a game or video coming out of a phone is uniquely unbearable - not comparable to people talking or other restaurant noise. If there are no headphones, it's antisocial. If they're all wearing headphones, fine.

We have a no screens rule until after we've eaten. We chat, colour, play games etc whilst waiting for food. Once everyone has eaten, if it's a meal with family or friends who we haven't seen in a while and want to catch up with, then I have no issue with the kids watching screens with headphones whilst the adults chat.

Where possible we meet places where there's outdoor space for the kids to run around but that's not always possible.

I couldn't give two hoots what people think about it! Equally I don't care if people let their kids watch screens the whole way through a meal (with headphones) and I wouldn't judge, not my place to!

@drivinmecrazy

I'm 37 and the last time I perused library for school tasks, was in primary. Was never needed after that. I'm pretty sure I'm not out of skill to order a book in library (online these days, and an electronic fob!) if the world went dark. However, my tech skills will forever desire more. Unfortunately.

On the other hand, my twin brother enjoyed and prioritised screens and what has always hindered my career, has advanced his. His typing skill and speed gained whilst gaming is mind-boggling. As a result I've started encouraging my proficient reader 10yo son away from books and his game console, towards PC gaming on the keyboard. As I loath to admit - we all need to keep up somehow.

I don’t have any childhood memories of sitting at boring old restaurant tables, waiting for the adults to finish their endless talk.

I have countless memories going to friends’ homes and the adults would sit and chat to their hearts’ content, while we all ran and played freely. Outside in summer. Or making our own fun inside in winter. Lots of memories of being outside and actually having fun. No colouring books, and definitely no screens.

Definitely no shouty adults, threatening (let alone carrying out) violence…. 😳

Likewise, we never did the sitting in restaurants for hours with our kids - because it just isn’t fun for them.

There are better ways to socialise when it’s families getting together, than all stuck around the same table for hours.

I am autistic with severe sensory issues I would have heard the noise and it would have been physically painful. Use headphones.

The antipathy towards children in the UK is still alive and well I see. When abroad you see children out in the evening no-one bats an eye. Here adults can be noisy but woe betide a child that doesn't sit in silence.

Before you all pile on we've grandchildren who we take out whenever we have them from the time they can sit in a high chair to eat. The sooner you start the sooner they get used to being in company. If that means colouring or a cartoon then so be it. They're little people after all.

I recently took my niece to McDonalds for a treat (haven’t been myself for years) and I was so shocked to see a long table with iPads at each seat. There was a toddler/young child sitting at each one, and their mothers sat opposite them on their phones while they ate. It was like some weird episode of Black Mirror. Absolutely heartbreaking that there was no interaction between the adults and children at all. What the hell have we become that parents can think this is normal, acceptable parenting? Yeah, I judged! And my eldest (now 30) has autism so I understand the challenges, but not all of these kids would have been ND. It’s just laziness.

Sounds really similar to what we do. We also then don't have continuous screen time. The kids also get bored of that tbh. They'll have some screen time, some more play. Maybe a walk outside etc. whatever is needed to keep them occupied. But it definitely will include screens of some sort.

Ugh. You should never "let them run riot." That's just unacceptable anywhere.

Sometimes you just have to do without those long weekend lunches until they are older. It's what one signs up for when deciding to procreate.

This! What happened to conversation? Had plenty of meals with friends' children in the pre-screen era, and it was how they learned to be around adults, socialise, sit at the table etc. It's just so depressing to see a child gazing at a screen (even with no sound) and not interacting with anyone.

We don’t use screens in restaurants but I don’t judge parents that do - after all plenty of adults get their phone out whilst waiting for a companion etc. I bring my DC sticker and colouring books, and have recently moved on to Dobble with the eldest. I would be annoyed if I could hear any kind of volume coming from a device on a nearby table, child or adult tbf.

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour

Because most people don't do this. It's full blaring bloody Peppa from the second they walk in.

Parents on phones grinds my gears. Talk to each other fgs it's so bloody rude and setting the worst example to keep checking your phone when out with children or adults.

It's not cruel. It's taking them along to something that isn't centred around them. They also need to learn that not every single thing is entirely centred around their enjoyment

Children do need to learn that everything isn't centred around them, which is why many parents will pick appropriate socialising venues and timeframes for their children because it's important that children learn to sit at the table, not everywhere is a play area, it's appropriate to do some activities at the table but not others. They teach their children whilst also being aware that children are children so they aren't going to be up for multiple hours in a pub whilst adults catch up.

Forgive me for being cynical but shoving devices to children because the adults want to sit and chit chat in a pub/restaurant for several hours isn't the sort of amazing teaching opportunity you seem to think it is here (especially when you seem to think that the options are stick a screen in front of their face or they'll ruin everyone else's meal with their behaviour!)

Edit to add - FWIW I don't let mine have screens at mealtimes, but other families doing what works for them and the children have headphones in is their decision.
My amusement lies with the idea that it's apparently great for young children to come to a multiple hour long meal, where they're stuck on devices for a large chunk of time and the parent thinks it's a teaching opportunity.

Kids sounds coming out of a tablets can be far less annoying than people getting louder and louder when they’ve had too much to drink. You crack on, nothing wrong with it

'It's good for them to come'....so they can watch Peppa Pig their screen!

I don’t agree with screens at tables. I never said that. I just agreed with OPs point about children sometimes having to get on with a situation they might find boring.

This place is batshit sometimes 😂

You know, I hear this a lot but I have travelled quite a bit and I have yet to go in a restaurant in Europe or further afield where kids aren't sitting nicely, etc. I think people in other countries have expectations for their kids in public spaces just as we do. My brother is raising his children in Italy with his Italian wife and they most certainly expect their children to behave in a certain way in public spaces.
And the thing is, they usually do because they are brought up with very different attitudes to public spaces than the modern UK parent has. You get a lot less of the attitude of 'kids can't be expected to do x y '
It isn't that we have bigger issues with kids in public spaces, it's that in recent years, parents seem to object massively to any expectation that children are capable of not disturbing others.
In my experience, European children are brought up as part of society. That means they aren't constantly being told that rules of society in public spaces don't apply to them.
Over here, if you dare to suggest that children perhaps do need to speak more quietly than they might do in the back garden at home, or that maybe it isn't a good idea to run about where people are moving about with hot food, it's 'childist' and we all want kids locked in cupboards at home.