What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

You think every child out for a family meal before iPads etc was shouted at, smacked and terrified? I can assure you I wasn’t - and neither was my daughter (probably from the last pre electronics age group).

How did our parents all cope before we had digital baby sitters?

Some kids spend hours on iPads, I think it's good for them to get out and away from screens and learn how to behave in social settings.

At my grans 80th birthday dinner my 16yo cousin, yes 16, was on her iPad for most of the dinner and even put her head on the table because she was bored. My uncle didn't say anything to her. My parents would never in a million years have tolerated such behaviour from us.

Obviously as another customer I'd prefer they were on iPads than running riot but I do think kids need to learn to cope without screens.

Haha no one had a problem with us at the pub and older people remarked how well behaved our crowd had been.

You literally could not hear any noise from our screens. Sorry to burst your bubbles of assumptions.

So now you're saying kids can't behave in public without screens or the threat of violence and actual violence if they misbehave?!

Wow.

We used to get left outside the door with a bottle of pop and a packet of crisps. I much prefer this new fangled screen behaviour.

Colouring books? That's what mine had.

If you can't hear the cartoons then why do you care?

So why did you bother posting just to laugh at bubbles of assumptions.

No one was bothered by you and you just wanted to say haha you're all wrong?

So weird?

@kittensss

My dc were not shouted at or smacked in restaurants, we taught them to behave by teaching good table manners from the start including at home, screens are not allowed at the table in my house, not even as adults, end of. Of course little kids don't talk about politics, you instead talk about things they are interested in.

Sound on at all, even quietly I absolutely not OK in my opinion.

Headphones only, or a silent activity.

If you let your kid just socialise (the way toddlers do) then some people think they’re being a nuisance. Up to yourself.

If they don't wear headphones and there is sound, then yes it's just annoying.

But generally I just find it sad. I was raised in a family where meals were important moments of the day to share and exchange with the adults, it's just weird to me to see children/teens not being included to the conversation.

It depends on the circumstances though, I think younger children (pre-school age) need to be occupied somehow, and I can understand any kids being bored at big family events if there are no other children their age

Again, nope. I’d think it was very unusual for a child to be left outside a meal with crisps and pop even in the 60s, though it definitely happened with the odd drink. Not me, not my daughter (born mid 90s).
To add detail, I didn’t just give her colouring or whatever, I or someone I was with would actively talk to her. If she got restless someone would take her outside for a walk until she was able to come back and join in.

Sorry but I do judge.
We have a zero screens at table rule whether at home or restaurants. When DD was little we only went to cafes etc with quick service and gradually built up to restaurants. We love eating out so it was important to us that DD could sit nicely for a family meal out. Yes when she was little this involved colouring books, reading books but also talking to her, playing ispy etc with her. It is family time so a chance to connect and I always wanted her to be involved in this rather than plugged into an ipad etc.
I completely understand that some kids may have autism etc whereby a busy restaurant demands use of technology + headphones but I do think that too many parents use technology as a baby sitting technique in restaurants rather than teaching their kids how to behave.

Yes. Or left at home with barely competent older siblings!

Also, going out was not done as often. You could say that perhaps that's a good thing, but personally, I think it's lovely that families can go out more. DH and I can't really afford it much these days but I have been thinking longingly of how much I wish we could do the odd pub lunch with the whole family and a group of friends. And hoping that if money improves next year perhaps we can.

Headphones or silent, no sound whatsoever, and not in the eyeline of other diner as the brightly coloured moving images are rudely distracting.

We brought books, small toys, colouring books, played boxes or hangman or other pen and paper based games.Learing how to amuse yourself is an important skill.

I remember being left in the car with crisps and a bottle of Coke. They were in there so long that I needed a wee and had to go in the bushes because I wasn't allowed in.

My peers remember similar and we're all gen X

Speak for yourself. I certainly wasn't shouted at or smacked.

I've never shouted at my 5yo in my life yet she is capable of getting through a meal out without a screen.

If by ‘socialise’ you mean wander to other tables, then yes, that’s annoying. Not sure how anyone could be annoyed by them socialising with the people on their table though.

Headphones or on very quietly of course
Headphones or on silent are the only ok approaches to me.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?
I really do hate the rhetoric of "they get bored so it's either we give them screens or they run around, shrieking and ruining your meals out" though. That gets an eye roll from me. It isn't either or in most situations.
What it usually boils down to is means is:
as adults we are choosing to prioritise adults so instead of setting our children up for success and adapting a family meal to reflect the children present, we'll stay longer than they can manage, want them to be occupied so we can talk for longer and screens are a convenient way of achieving this

Which is fine if that's what those parents choose to do, but don't pretend like it's an act of kindness to other diners to have a hum off Peppa Pig because your kids will run riot otherwise.

A 2-3 hour lunch can be a bit long for a 3 year old to sit and draw. Especially if the adults want to actually catch up and can't speak to the child attentively for the entire 3 hour lunch.

Before you say, keep the kids at home then- I would rather once in a while my kids came with us for an occasion like this. It's good for them to come!

@cardibach

Exactly!!! Interacting with the child is so important. I think people have lost the way on that one. I observe it all the time- kids and adults staring at screens eg on public transport rather than reading a book to them.

My dd has asked me rather than her willing mil to help with childcare for pretty much this reason, I will enforce screen limits and healthy snacks, not that the baby has been conceived yet!

If no sound at all, it’s fine.

However I think we’ve all encountered a table which has a child playing Peppa Pig on their iPad at top volume - which is particularly trying if you have a two year old who was perfectly happy to sit and chat and colour-in until he heard thwir iPad noise and then became desperately jealous and upset…

And ‘very quietly’ is never ok, we do not want to listen to it and it distracts and upsets other children.

I was also shouted at and smacked for 'misbehaviour'.

Outside the pub, yes. This is about a meal in a restaurant. And actually neither I (boomer/X cusp) or DD (Millennial/Z cusp) has that experience. I definitely heard of other kids doing it though.

At my grans 80th birthday dinner my 16yo cousin, yes 16, was on her iPad for most of the dinner and even put her head on the table because she was bored. My uncle didn't say anything to her. My parents would never in a million years have tolerated such behaviour from us.

@Laurdo that's utterly ridiculous IMO. I assumed everyone was talking about preschoolers here. The kids do need weaning off the digital tit at some point.