What's the big deal about letting kids watch a couple of videos during a meal out ?

[kittensss]

I've noticed it is SUPER frowned upon here.

What's the big deal if you want to have a longer dinner and keep your kids happy and entertained ?

My kids are good to sit and colour and talk and eat for the first 30 minutes to an hour, but if we want to stay longer than that, they get bored.. fair enough. What's the big deal about letting them watch some stuff on our phones of iPads ?

I know of no one in real life who is as judgy as the parents on here.

We went for a big family lunch recently, the adults wanted to enjoy it a bit longer and out came the phones for the preschoolers to look at for half an hour or so. We were able to enjoy our lunch and took them to the playground after. No harm done.

Or would you rather our entitled ' brats ' ruined your pub lunch ?

I don't get the problem which seems to be coming up here time and time again on so many threads. Do you assume we don't talk to our kids because we let them watch the iPad for a bit during lunch ?

Exactly this. It's about teaching your children to sit down at a table and join in with family life and conversations by including them. If you want a quiet lunch, long lunch with adult conversation where they are not included then don't bring them along?

It's not just about other people. It's about you including your children in the group so they don't get bored and are able to sit at a table without looking at a screen. It's laziness.

This is why learning to not care what other people think as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone else is so liberating as a parent. In my experience (compared with when I did care) it’s resulted in happier us and much happier kids as you end up doing what actually best suits you and your kids.

Your laziness is not reading people's comments and just being judgemental and thinking you are a better parent than everyone else.

LozJoz, you may have a boring life that you don't socialise much. Some people adapt to different situations when they eat out a lot.

We took our newly minted three year old out to lunch today and I definitely thought about this thread when I saw the behaviour of three six year olds (one had a birthday badge). They were literally running around the restaurant shouting and playing tag and hide and seek whilst their parents sat in their booth and chatted 🤷🏻‍♀️

How the waiters coped with it I've no idea as it was an accident waiting to happen with giant trays of food being carried about.

I WISH they'd had screens 😂

For context, said restaurant was a Smith and Western which (if you've not been to one) has a cool wild west interior with barrels and other scenery. No play equipment though, all decorative.

Its not an either/or though @TheBirdintheCave - my kids didn't run around or play hide and seek in restaurants but they didn't have screens. It is possible!

@ForeverIsTheSweetestCon Yes I know, my own son just sat and ate his meal 😁 Just mentioning it as it made me think of this thread 😅

So ? Running is great fir gross motor skills! A restaurant is not the place for either!

@curaçao Lots of restaurants give children colouring pages and crayons though.

It sounds like your LO goes to a terrible nursery. When my daughter went to nursery, they spent a maximum of 2-3 hours a week doing arts and crafts, the rest of the time was spent outdoors, reading, playing, at the playground, having small discos/parties, etc. if all my child did was colouring while there I’d have made huge complaints about the level of care being achieved.

Nonetheless, there is a time and a place for screens. My DD is 5 and gets 1 hour a day on her iPad: 30 mins to unwind after school, and 30 mins after dinner. Then I take it back, and she can find something else to amuse herself with. If she starts asking for it more frequently or handing it back becomes an issue, the iPad dies and I can’t find the charger for days/weeks at a time. Children need to socialise, they don’t need to spend their childhoods glued to a screen. When we were younger we didn’t have screens to keep us occupied in restaurants and we survived.

furthermore, in a previous comment OP admits that no earphones were used while the children watched the phones, so no. That’s not what OP is referring to.

Curaçao - where did I say running around was good?
Pezedero - time to find a different nursery maybe

My asd child who is at a special school had to sit nicely like the rest of my children. If he couldn't he was made to. I never treated him any differently. Asd whilst difficult is no excuse for bad parenting.

Why are you saying your child IS at special school then saying HAD to sit nicely?

You also said you praise parents if their children behave well. I would think you were odd if you did that to me.

My children are older now and they didn't have tablets but some posters really do think they are better than others.

I saw a really good child psychologist talk about this one
she explained being a parent is making decisions that enable a child to have their needs met and those needs are constant evolving and complex
if by allowing tv or screen time a parent is able to :

1. keep a house clean and make a nutritional meal
2. have a break and therefore keep their own mental capability to be present and calm intact
3. allow child a little down time or allowing focus time for another child in a household
4. allows some time together as parents to keep a relationship connected etc
5. allows more travel or longer journeys to experience something special etc

all these things benefit a child and should still be considered great parenting

people need to be kind

you didn't use a screens good for you
you use screens occasionally for good purposes- good for you

My example would be allowing my lo to watch something on her tablet at a restaurant after spending a whole day outside at say a national trust garden 5/6 hrs even plus time in the car when she's tired why is that bad? Maybe a non tablet parent would not go out for tea but I doubt any child after a 5mile walk and loads of fresh air could sit nicely whilst they wait for dinner
but then another time we may just do a meal out and the iPad doesn't come and she enjoys the experience of dining etc and socialise

remember you only see a moment of time in the life of a family as a stranger dining out that hour of life is definitely not as significant as some of you make it seem 🤪🤣

@Kathryn1983 Perfectly explained.

@Kathryn1983 Really? You "doubt any child after a 5mile walk and loads of fresh air could sit nicely whilst they wait for dinner"? 😕

I assume you're thinking of your own young (pre-school?) child(ren)? Fair enough. But you know "child" includes tweens and teenagers and not just toddlers, right?

I would absolutely expect my older children (say, 8+) to go for a walk and then sit nicely to wait for dinner. They do just this often.

As long as I can’t hear it I wouldn’t even look let alone judge. My girls are older now but we went for meals out from when they were babies and they were good as gold for an hour or so, until the boredom kicked in, then we would leave. Personal choice (trust me they watched tv/iPads but I used to save it for when I really needed them to be distracted.

Fair enough I am talking about preschool/ reception/ infants rather than 8+ there is a massive difference
im talking when after a very long day when given a chance they'd be asleep / napping but it's not bedtime and they're too old for a nap and it's too late in the day for one also and they're also hungry and ready for dinner so you have to keep them going somehow and yes we colour and stickers and talk and walk about the pub gardens etc but sometimes it's just not enough and you know what that's ok

I'm not being judgemental. We take our daughter out to meals every now and again and it's a treat with grandparents etc. I take along colouring pads, card games etc. I think in general life, people use ipads and kindles etc to entertain their child but it's not necessary if you're willing to put the effort in.
I think at a meal, it is extremely rude to allow a child to watch TV on their tablet. I do things like make patterns out of the salt and pepper sachets etc.
Children are allowed to be bored and they will make their own entertainment. There is no need for a screen if you can really be arsed.

I feel exactly the same as you! Great post.

Very quietly isn't ok. Headphones are a must. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, if it's going to stop your children being disruptive, in fact I'd prefer it!

I agree with this too. On holiday I noticed children even watching at breakfast which I found disturbing, dinner I can understand more. I also recently saw 3 children, probably between about 7-12 all on a screen each which made me feel a bit sad, I would think that surely they'd be able to talk amongst themselves.

@LozJoz of course you are being judgemental saying people can't be arsed and not putting the effort in. Again, you have no idea when is happening the rest of the time you are not sat in the same room as them.

Also, perhaps they only use them after the meal whilst the adults are finishing their drinks and chat. So you are saying it's better for them to be bored than having a little time on their screens?

They aren't sad and its fine to have a little time that's not all about them.

The other evening we had a good two hours engaging with our Granddaughter having a meal. After she got her screen from her room and after a short time Grandad went to sit with her and she showed him what game she was playing.