Lying to DH over having rostered day off.

[Liarliarpantsonfireahhh]

I get a rostered day off every fortnight. It’s my day to catch up on everything and have some time to myself.

My dh has a child from a previous relationship with a medical condition that requires a lot of appointments.

Almost every rdo he asks me to take his child to an appointment. It’s usually mum that takes him, but as she works it’s difficult. I stopped writing the rdo on the calendar as I think she would book things on my day off. Now I think he tells her when the day is. And I know I should, as it means life is a bit easier, but it takes all day and I hate it. Today I had my rdo and it was great. I told dh the day got changed at the last minute. He had to call in sick Monday as I couldn’t take the child to the appointment.

Is it unreasonable to assume my day off is mine?

There is ALWAYS one 🙄

I think that's really unfair of the child's parents!

I think it is a bit cheeky that the child’s parents expect you to use your rdo to take there child to appointments especially as you have said you don’t want to. As a parent I could not imagine someone other than there father taking them for appointments of this kind. I think you should talk to your husband and explain because lying long term will not be good for your relationship.

It's unreasonable to expect you to do this every time. He and tge child's mum need to sort it out - she takes time off, he takes time off. Yiu could do the occasional trip but tgey shouldn't rely on you.

I can understand why you don't tell him when your day is now, too.

its not really clear. The op says that she should really just refuse which suggests that she hasn’t actually said no and that she said that it got changed last minute to get out of doing it and he called in sick.

I don’t think hunk it is unreasonable as the poor kid has two (biological) parents who should be doing it more than you.

I would think he will find out though, they will ask what day has your day off been changed to and try and arrange it for that unless you are going to say it’s a different day every fortnight which it couldn’t be

@LiquoriceAllsorts2

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Liarliarpantsonfireahhh · Today 08:49
Sorry I should have said I have told him I don’t want to. But it is still expected. I really should just refuse and if it’s still expected just not take him. I have pretended to be sick to get out of it too.

@Silvers11 yes my days are compressed over the fortnight during the week giving me a day off.

I am able to take the child as technically he is a teen. The parents do take him to appointments, sometimes it’s once a month, sometimes a couple of times a week. It’s difficult for everyone. I am happy to help when it’s very busy, but recently it’s been expected a lot. I feel awful, I really hate refusing as it really is hard. But it just gets too much. I have things booked on my days for the remainder of the year, so I have told dh not to rely on me as I can’t. He will still expect it. I might change my hours next year.

That as well. Depressingly predictable

Do you know what. I just saw this again in my list and I feel cross with his parents that they don’t take him. They should want to support him, know how his condition is doing. I don’t know what it is but, having worked in medical settings with children and young people, parents are an essential support. What if he gets some bad news. Or his condition is deteriorating. He should have a parent with him and they should organise themselves to do it.

I have children that need a few medical appointments. I reduced my hours, took a paycut and then work overtime when I cam so I can take my kids to appointments. I'm frankly astonished parents think this is OK

This!

If I was the medical professionals I’d be questioning why his parents didn’t attend at least the vast majority of the time