AIBU to not pick 4 year old DD from school?

[marshyrun]

DD2 is 4 and in reception. She’s had the usual on off cough / colds since starting in September and is just coming to the end of a bad cold, she went to school throughout with me just giving her calpol in the mornings.

She woke up today absolutely fine, had breakfast, in good spirits. Still a slight cough but had some calcough before leaving.

School have just called to say her teacher has said she’s not herself, they checked her temp (all fine), she doesn’t feel sick or anything, they’ve said she’s just being quiet and clingy and not enthusiastic about participating in some of the activities. They’ve asked me to come and collect her if she’s still being “clingy” after lunch.

AIBU to not pick her up unless she’s actually poorly? I’m the first one to drive to school if my child is poorly but this doesn’t seem to be the case today. She’s naturally shy and quiet anyway so her being reserved is not out of character at all!

I work full time but if my child is sick that comes above all else. Work is work at the end of the day. There’s always another job and if my child is sick then it cannot be helped.

If it makes the mother feel like crap then perhaps there’s some truth to it. Calpol only lasts a few hours and if she needed it to feel better then she would have been better off being at home anyway. If she has to ask on here whether she should be picking her child up, and hasn’t realised her DD is probably exhausted from having a bad cold and being made to go into school, and it’s a comment makes her feel like crap… then yikes…

I am sorry about your diagnosis. I was verbally threatened but in a nice way when my children were in primary school by a woman who felt awkward about the conversation. She told me where we live the local secondary was the first to take a parent to court. My youngest had a cough a cold and a sore throat I brought him in anyway. He said he wanted to stay at home. Normally I let him have the day off but I thought no you are going in today. He was fine a bit bunged up he got through it. Unless there is a temperature there is no reason to keep them off.

Early on you'll see a post from someone who says their sister died of Sepsis from the actions of someone like OP.

Just to add the context that they later corrected to say she didn't actually die but that she could have done.

There's a lot going on in this thread.

Seriously, just go pick your kid up 🙄

Im Sorry if you had to give her calpol.in the morning to get her through the day, she shouldn't have gone to school, this masked the symptoms. Of this hadn't been happening previously amd you hadn't given her so.ething before going school I would of said no leave her there she hasn't got a temperature amd is just clingy but readying the backstory I think its best you pick her up and let her recover properly.

Can't believe you've been getting such a hard time, OP! I'm a primary school teacher, and when I have a child in my class who seems a bit under the weather but not properly ill, I just let them chill in the book corner- I wouldn't dream of expecting a parent to leave work to pick them up! Can't believe the office called you over a child with no temperature and no sign of D&V.

Where does the OP say she gave calpol before school?

Poor child. Not everyone should be parents clearly. The fact OP is happy to infect other children by allowing her sick child that needed calpol to still attend school is just careless and irresponsible. Her own DC needs a sofa day with a blanky, a warm drink and all the cuddles in the world to comfort the already uncomfortableness being poorly with a bad cold brings - instead OP has had zero empathy. That poor little 4yo

She’s 4 go and pick her up.

Ah, so people should only be parents if they don't work or work in non-jobs and live within easy collecting distance from school.

I'm sorry but there are some (many?) situations in which "my child is a bit under the weather" or "my child has a sniffle" really don't cut it as reasons to walk out of work, no matter how welcome cuddles would be. Sometimes we're not our best selves and we just need to get on with it - that applies to kids too.

Children should be in school unless they are actually unwell.

She has

My DT’s went to school when they were under the weather - they stayed off if they were actually ill I don’t have the type of job where I can either drop everything to collect them when it’s not needed or keep them off school when it’s not necessary.

FML she picked her child up 3 fucking days ago.

She is not still at school still waiting for her mum. 🙄

People should never leave bad relationships and become single parents too apparently.

Ironically our school has stated on the school newsletter that attendance had been down due to children being kept off with coughs and colds and to please continue to send them in as school attendance is very important!🤷‍♂️

I don't think the school would ask you to pick her up unless they felt she was unwell. Surely she is better off at home?

You probably need to go to specsavers.. the op said her child had 'a bad cold' - how unwell do they have to be?! You sound like Ms Trunchbull from the film Matilda!! I bet you shove your poor children in a chokey when they are feeling unwell and tell them to get on with it!! Rotten and heartless. God bless these poor children

@marshyrun I just wanted to say it sounds so very very tough being on your own without a support system. I hope you get time to take care if yourself too.
And I would have got ny DD too but in that situation I also would have been very annoyed with school.
You sound like a great mum to me. There has to be a balance - and when they're ill you know when is too ill.