AIBU to not pick 4 year old DD from school?

[marshyrun]

DD2 is 4 and in reception. She’s had the usual on off cough / colds since starting in September and is just coming to the end of a bad cold, she went to school throughout with me just giving her calpol in the mornings.

She woke up today absolutely fine, had breakfast, in good spirits. Still a slight cough but had some calcough before leaving.

School have just called to say her teacher has said she’s not herself, they checked her temp (all fine), she doesn’t feel sick or anything, they’ve said she’s just being quiet and clingy and not enthusiastic about participating in some of the activities. They’ve asked me to come and collect her if she’s still being “clingy” after lunch.

AIBU to not pick her up unless she’s actually poorly? I’m the first one to drive to school if my child is poorly but this doesn’t seem to be the case today. She’s naturally shy and quiet anyway so her being reserved is not out of character at all!

I don't understand why you would send a small child to school whilst unwell. You said you dosed her with calpol each morning before sending her to school, how mean, she should be home, with you while she's not feeling well.
And yes, of course you should go pick her up, the school must feel she's ill enough to be at home

I think the fact she has had to be medicated before attending school suggests she shouldn’t be in school as she is unwell.

Also, schools are big on attendance levels and wouldn’t be sending pupils home unless there was a good enough reason to do so - a pupil being unwell in this particular case.

Please refer to paragraph 1 of OP’s post.
The point I was making - as, I presume, we’re several others you have pounced upon with the same rebuke - was that if throughout this illness OP has been dosing with Calpol before school, then she is maybe being a bit quick to send the child in; ergo, if the school are suggesting she comes home, my advice to OP is to listen. We all take time to find the balance when little ones start in reception, and OP has asked what others think. But let’s pretend for a moment there WAS no mention of Calpol and everyone had confused it with Calcough. Your level of fury in response to that perceived error is not just unpleasant but also slightly unhinged. I see you even got stuck into the Tories - all over a bit of Calpol/ Calcough.

Yes, you’re definitely being completely unreasonable.

Weird that we're admonished by schools for not sending kids in with a cold (quite regular round robin emails at my school), but in Mumsnet Land kids with a cold must stay at home. Some schools get unbelievably arsy about attendance so I guess if she was over 5 it'd be a different story.

Ignore the “shit mum “ comments: it’s always hard to know where to draw the line between attendance and keeping them home esp when they are little and get everything going round. Generally I think if I’m feeling they need Calpol they probably aren’t over it and pose a risk to vulnerable others - as well as constituting a pain for the teacher and a miserable day for LO. But mine are a few years on and it is still tricky in that morning rush to know. I think you made the right call in collecting her.

The op has posted more than one post and has even given an update on why she was clingy at school she spoke to the TA and she apologised to the op. You have ignored that she is a single parent with no support and is the only one working. A little bit of Calpol sets the yummy mummies on fire pot kettle.

I love listening to politics it affects everything we do and use.

Z

If the school have noticed she isn't well, she isn't well. They are being responsible letting you know. They catch every bug going in the first months at school.

🤣🤣 Jesus Christ.. the replies. Shit parent, social services. Really!? For all those telling me to pick her up.. I did. 2 days ago.

She had calpol the first week she had a cold (when she was off at half term). Then we went to GP. He said just viral, ride it out. He suggested calcough. I bought it. There’s no paracetamol in calcough. She’s not had calpol since then., there was no need. She’s not got a temperature. Just a cough. So that’s what she’s been having.

She was absolutely fine when I collected her, was fine all evening, fine all day yesterday and fine today.

This a genuine question.. Please tell me what I should do the next time either her or her sister gets a cold? Even if it’s mild and they are fine, it’s still going to spread to others. That’s life. It’s unrealistic to think that every child or adult takes time off for every single cold to stop it spreading. The same happens to me at work, anytime a colleague has a cold I can guarantee within a week or so the rest of us have got it.

That's the joy of having kids though! Schools/creches don't want sick kids in. So you're at their mercy. Jobs are often the opposite, they'd have you in even if your leg was hanging off!

This sounds insane. How do schools cope with such illogical systems?! I'm sooo not looking forward to mine starting, they just seem to be a minefield of grrrrness.

You sound like Amanda from ‘motherland’

The school my kids went to got arsy they even had someone pick up a couple of children whose parents struggled. They were hot on attendance one parent I knew would send her child in after she thrown up. She said she was fine and in she went she said nothing to the teacher and she picked her up after school. These responses are bonkers compared to what really goes on. The op is a saint.

If they need Calpol to get through the day, they're too ill for school. Simple really!

I do hope you've read the update, I'll await your apology 😂

Now you've read the update, I'll await your apology 😂

I do not understand why parents get like this - it baffles me! If the school/ nursery have called to say they are not ok - take them home! Help them get better.

Your baby is poorly - give her a cuddle!

If you are giving her calpol before school she is not well enough to be going to school. END OF.

RTFT before posting folks. At least read OP’s posts, good grief 🙄

@marshyrun

I've only read your updates and skimmed over the other replies but just wanted to say that you wouldn't have been unreasonable not to pick her up.

I have 4 kids with zero family support and DH and I work (I'm higher earner) and I've just cut my hours because of how challenging it is to juggle young kids and illness.

So many of these posters will have "hobby jobs" whilst their DH works and can just drop things and leave these jobs without even a handover to another person whereas I'm a nurse and it's just not as simple as skipping out the door because school or daycare have called to say "oh they aren't really themselves today"

Ffs kids are allowed off days just the way adults are but we don't seem to understand that on our society and automatically assume they are unwell and need to go home because they don't feel like joining in. Your update regarding what the TA said shows that your daughter wasn't unwell and didn't need to come home from school.

Mumsnet is full of absolute nutters who have no concept of what it's like to raise children without a ton of support and one parent earning £150k whilst the other swans about getting their fanny waxed with the freedom to pick kids up as soon as school says they have a sniffle 🙄

Yeah that's the thing, real world is also mad but in the opposite direction!

I think you’re thinking of 18, as in Combat 18. Anyway, a terrible slur on the poster, whatever nonsense they’ve said. What on earth were you thinking?

Sounds like the Calpol wore off and she is going downhill. Nip it in the bud with a good rest on the sofa.

My GC seem to have had constant colds and coughs this Autumn and the school are happy to have them there unless they've obviously got a temperature, even if they are a bit under the weather.

It really is irritating to have to keep them out of school for a cough or cold and I sympathise with the OP having to go and collect her daughter. Primary schools seem to be better in this respect though than nurseries.
I suspect that many of these ailments are actually mild Covid - I tested positive myself six weeks ago - but it's becoming more and more obvious that older people like me are going to have to look after ourselves better and keep up to date with our vaccinations to stop ourselves being seriously ill.