Boyfriend hurt me on purpose during sex

[Feelingsad192]

I just need some advice because he won't speak to me, he's upset with me and is acting like I've done something wrong.

Boyfriend and I were having sex (after an argument about me feeling like he doesn't care about my pleasure during sex as he never makes an effort to finish me off)

While having sex he asked me to turn over, I have endometriosis and this position is very painful for me. We do that position occasionally (it's not always painful depending on time of the month) this time I said no as I knew it would hurt he asked again I said no again so he grabbed my leg and put it on his shoulder- a position I have never liked and he knows hurts me and at this time in my cycle it is exceptionally painful so I screamed. I started crying from the pain and he's stormed off mad.
I've asked him to speak to me, he doesn't want to, he's upset with me, I have no idea what I did.
I'm in so much pain, it's really uncomfortable and painful.
I've told him I'm in pain, he doesn't seem to give a shit.

I'm so sorry, what a horrible experience 😢 your partner sounds like a very selfish man who doesn't care that he hurt you. Please don't stay in a relationship with him - you deserve better

@Feelingsad192 I realise this is an old thread and you haven't posted for a couple of months op, but a caring, loving partner does not physically hurt you on purpose and will stop if you tell them.

He's admitted that it was deliberate and tried to justify it by blaming you. This is a form.of gaslighting.

What else will he try next time? Do not stay with someone like this. What he did was abuse and a violation of your dignity.

You tell him to fuck off it’s over!

He deliberately hurt you in a sexual way because he couldn’t get you to do what he wanted!

Amd now he’s trying to make you take responsibility for what happened! He wants you to feel it’s your fault!

i can’t imagine how scary and hurtful that must have been let alone the physical pain :( i have endo too and i know completely what you mean about how painful certain positions can be, it’s agonising and for him to subject you to that out of selfishness is so horrible and evil. you deserve so much better, you don’t deserve this and you aren’t responsible for this whatsoever, please don’t let him make you feel like you are!

@Feelingsad192

This is my main takeaway from this evening, and you have to feel safe in your relationship.

No one thinks it's easy, but you can't stay with him, you're not safe. Your post made me cry, it was a vicious assault and you are probably still in shock. Do you have a friend or a sister you could go and stay with? Is your mum supportive?

I'm so angry for you.

You need to be checked over by a doctor as well, he may have injured you internally. The bastard.

@Feelingsad192

You didn't do anything wrong at all.!

The only mistake you have made is wasting your time with this Arsehole.!

You are way too good for this one

You deserve a lot better than he could ever be,

Life is way too short for his this kind of Crap in a relationship..

He really does not care for you

Your boyfriend 's attitude is a case of
"It's all about me myself and I"

I really don't like the sound of him..

He is breaking the law by mistreating you like that...!

And if you kneed him in the balls, then apologised because you were angry at the time he would be fine with that? He's lucky you didn't call the police

Leave. Go. Block. Delete. Change phone. Unfriend. Contact social services. Get a restraining order. Hire a hitman

Leave now. and don't look back.

and yes you didn't do anything wrong, he did, and he is lucky you did not call the police.

🥲

I don’t think I’ve ever said this before on mumsnet, but leave him!
And know, you did absolutely nothing wrong here. You’re worth way more and do not deserve to be treated this way. X

Please leave him this is abuse.

I'm with others posters, leave him @Feelingsad192

He doesn't care about your enjoyment of the most intimate part of your relationship - what's he like in other ways?

This relationship is toxic imo. You deserve better.

I’m not so sure about that. It could be argued he knew that she wouldn’t continue to consent to penetration in that position. You are allowed to withdraw consent at any point.

That’s awful. That position is quite painful I find too because it hurts your cervix. He clearly doesn’t get it, if he’s trying to make an effort for your pleasure he needs to ask you what that is, not do what he thinks and then sulk

For chris't sake, @Feelingsad192 , you cannot walk away if he has beaten you senseless or abused you so badly sexually that you cannot move.
Saving up to leave is not safe. Can you not see this? He is already blaming you for his revolting actions. Stay any longer and he will have you so brow-beaten, you will be convinced you are responsible forchis happiness and all the problems in the world.
Or convince yourself it was a one-off. Until it isn't

There's your answer and you have nothing to be confused about OP. This man does not give a toss about you, he most certainly doesn't love you at all.

I also think he's a further threat to you as you have stated you won't be having sex with him. He is not going to like that and will likely think it's his right to have sex, so if I were you I'd make arrangements to get out asap, because he is dangerous.

He doesn’t give a shit. He is showing you who he is. Believe him!

So you said no to him twice but he still went ahead anyway. That's rape. Please get rid of him immediately.

Ask him if he had punched you but stopped would that be abuse?…of course it would. So maybe it’ll help him understand what he did was abuse and what he did was sexual abuse. just because he stopped doesn’t matter. I’d at least file it with the police so there is a record, especially as you are not leaving immediately (although I think he should leave)

You must do two things. Stop thinking that you’ve done something wrong.
Leave him.