Not to cater for allergy request at birthday party?

[coverp]

DD birthday party coming up and have asked attendees for allergies/dietary requirements. Had the usual list back - some Veggie, one no pork, one nut allergy, one gluten free+dairy allergy.

I said - no problem, we will make sure that there are options for all but will be parents responsibility to ensure children are eating the correct thing (kids will be aged 2-5). It will be "normal" kids party food - sandwiches, crisps, vegetable sticks, fruit, yoghurt etc.

Had a reply separately from parent of gluten free / dairy allergy saying "sorry to be difficult, but we need there to be no gluten or dairy served at all - it's too dangerous for X as we can't guarantee he won't eat it. Sure you understand, thanks xx".

AIBU to say that this just doesn't work for us? I'm making the cake and have no idea how (or have any desire to learn) to make a nice gluten free / dairy free option. I was planning to buy little GF vegan cupcakes so that there is something there for the others, but DD has requested a specific thing for her bday which I've already started prepping.

IMO .... no you're not BU...if I were this child's parent I wouldn't be demanding there not be gluten served because that's not fair to the rest of the kids. If I had a Child that was that allergic t9 gluten I would be bringing my own snacks maybe buying a gluten free cupcake in place of reg cake etc. I personally knew nothing about gluten and what to staynaway from until my coworker found out she can't eat it so it's not fair to expect people to know about what's safe snd not for her Child.

So what did you say to her, @coverp ?

One way to get round this problem & to save any awkwardness with the parent of the child, perhaps suggest either/both parents stay at party to ensure child eats safely? Mind you, at their age I would have thought parents would stay anyway (?) most of them stayed at my daughter’s parties up until age 8 or 9.

I don’t think it’s reasonable of them to dictate that all your party food should be gluten free, it’s your daughter’s party, and you’re doing your best to accommodate allergies as it is.

The OP's said all parents will be staying. It's just this kid's parents who seem to think they should have it easy not have to supervise or watch their own child at all.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/woman-refuses-change-daughters-birthday-31509429?utm_term=Autofeed&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR3o9KnNd2uNueZElg5fy8bu0mILC762swheRL7oLUPfqnY-R9aDQ95TGx8#Echobox=1700986183

@coverp

Mine is dairy free, I wouldn't dream of asking someone to make the entire menu for all children dairy free. You do have a few 'first parties' where your allergy child tries to dive in and then treats you like the devil when you stop them and make them only eat 'their' food, but then they just get used to it. It's part of parenting as far as I see.. I've also always offered to bring our own food but have so far always been told there will be some dairy free foods available.

However, it might be worth looking into doing little boxed lunches? You can get the cardboard boxes online - small drink, sandwich, crisps, raisins, biscuit/cake per child and you end up with so much less waste. As you have a few different food requests it means you can make up those ones seperate and not 'go to town' on a load of food for those children. I'd do cheese sandwiches for all except the DF one who has GF bread with ham. Pom bears are safe, raisins are safe, you'd just need a different sandwich and biscuit/cake for GF child.

Then for the cake do yours however you like, wrap them for kids and put in party bags, give the GF child a different one as a cupcake

I know.