To be devastated I didn't get the job

[Ronalling]

I'll give a little context, I started at the company I'm at in 2021 (new company so no one is from before 2019, hardly anyone before 2021). I work in the entertainment/creative industries, I don't want to say exact title as could be outing with the other info, but think of the performing arts.
The company are restructuring due to faster than expected growth and wanting to focus on a different market, a new role was made, advertised only internally. I interviewed in June/July, we were told we would hear nearer the time and other things had to be sorted first. It is a middle management role, sort of joining the creative side with the company as a whole, lots of time spent on meetings and admin and making sure others are doing their jobs but still some creative input and studio time. The internal job advert was vague, no time of experience noted, just you had to already be in a certain role. I'm 35, have been doing that job at other companies for 10 years, then for as long as anyone else at this company. I have a degree that is related too.
On Thursday it was announced that a 24/25 year old, who only got the job that was required experience wise last summer, has the job and has known since August!! She is very likable and has climbed the ranks in this company, one of the originals etc. In her first few months she caused waves due to the success of one of her pieces of work. All the normal things were said, she is a breath of fresh air, brings a new level of creativity etc. Honestly I didn't get the hype, she is just very likable and dare I say pretty privilege. After this she was given the opportunity to work with other teams and none of the rest of us were. It has basically gone from me being her boss in 2021, being equals in 2022, to her being my boss now!! They are also paying for her management course (though I think they were going to do this for whoever got it).
I'm so frustrated, I don't understand what she has that I don't, she is 10 years younger, no degree, barely any experience and will be making £80,000+ a year which is substantially more than me!!
It is also unlikely she will leave the job anytime soon and there are no other obvious progression paths at this company so basically I will have to leave if I want to progress.
I guess AIBU to be upset and think it is really unfair that someone who is so much less experienced/qualified has gotten the job over me?? Should I complain to someone??

The length of time you have spent at a role is no indication of how good you actually are at it. Sounds like the role went to the person who earned it, and it wasn't you.

Doing the job for 1 year vs 10 surely makes a difference???

No.

some employers have progression systems based on experience and time on role. It doesn’t sound like the riks in question was created with that in mind.

You would think that should be the case, but it's also possible that someone has been mediocre for 10 years and is easily outdone by a talented newcomer - particularly in creative fields.

Complaining will achieve nothing, whether the appointment is fair or unfair. People always find a justification for recruiting the person they want to recruit.

Same thing happened to me (not in remotely creative industry) - role went to a young, pretty (and to be fair, very nice in personality) woman, when I had better experience and qualifications. I was upset and angry at the time, but it mattered far less after a few months, and not at all after a few years had passed.

Your present role - do you enjoy it? Is the money enough for you to live comfortably?

If yes to both, that's all that really matters - of course, it's only human to chase 'status' but if you step back and consider objectively, status doesn't add much to your quality of life.

If no to one or both, then you have a choice - stick it out and see if another progression opportunity arises, or look elsewhere.

It's often a lottery - happening to apply for the right job at the right time. If you're good at your job and genuinely committed and hardworking, things will fall in place sooner or later and eventually you'll get a promotion or more senior role elsewhere.

I think there’s a bit of whataboutery in the replies so far. Can you ask for feedback on your application and interview, and ask what you could do better to secure the next promotion?

All the normal things were said, she is a breath of fresh air, brings a new level of creativity etc.

You said it yourself OP, she brings something new, a fresh pair of eyes.
Working ten years in the same company can equate to being stale and stuck in a rut, doing something because it's always been done that way.
Whereas she brings fresh ideas, and she has no loyalty to past behaviours or procedures.

Ugh. I completely understand your frustration here. Nepotism rules in the performance spaces (in my experience) and it’s why I got out.

I hear you, OP. yes, experience and education/ training really should count for something, but who you know & who likes you is just more important in many places- even world-reknowned, professional places.

I had to get out - I couldn’t stand it anymore.

I’m sorry. It’s disgusting.

She's actually had success on one of her projects and the job ad didnt ask for experience so it seems logical she'd get it tbh

I think after a while people just get used to seeing you in the role you've always had, and they can't imagine you differently. It's really annoying. I had this in a job once; not only was I easily more qualified for the role than the person who got it, but for months afterwards she kept asking me for help to do the job! I was a people pleaser and lacked confidence. I work for myself now and make about four times as much £££ as I did then.

Really tough op, must be hard to swallow.

As we all know, work is always political and not always the most suitable person for the job wins the role. It's often the most likeable/cheerleading type.

I'd be thinking about moving elsewhere

There’s no suggestion of any of that. Sounds like in this situation, she was genuinely the best person for the role but OP feels put out because she feels she was more deserving.

The internal job advert was vague, no time of experience noted, just you had to already be in a certain role.

The fact that the job did not require any time of experience probably meant they created the role for her but took other internal applications to give the appearance of objectivity.

Listen, I hear you. It feels very unfair. I have been passed over before and had to find my promotion elsewhere. There is little point fighting it. They want who they want and what they want, even if what they want is a certain look or fit. I appreciate from your description that are a lot of co-ordination and admin aspects to you that your experience will put you in better stead. In a creative role, could it be that if she has fresh ideas or take the new role into different creative direction, that is what management are looking for?

Hard as it is, try not to burn your bridges at this stage. She is now your boss so unfortunately you have to suck it up whilst you are still at the company. Keep an open mind whilst looking for other opportunities. All this is good CV fodder. If she can bring the company some wins, you would also look good by association.

You are allowed to lick your wounds for a bit

It is awful to feel ovelooked. But instead of tying yourself in knots and resenting the girl, just ask for interview-panel feedback. There may be a myriad of reasons she was chosen and you were not, but you have to ask rather than assuming.

It’s a horrible feeling. Especially if you know the job should’ve been yours. I missed a promotion and was devastated as I found I was being backstabbed by the colleague that got the job. I couldn’t work under her, so I left. I got another job in the position I wanted at another place and am so glad I did, especially as it stuffed the new job up for the colleague. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to be upset, if you can find another job take it. Especially if it puts you in a position to move up. You don’t owe them loyalty.

Staying in position doesn't always mean getting better at it.

There's a famous old quip: 'A lot of people in business say they have twenty years experience, when in fact all the really have is one repeated twenty times'.

Your company didn't recognise your worth OP. If you think you deserve the job and would do it better - you need to move to a company that sees you.

Same happened at my workplace. Young, pretty woman who could turn on the charm in an interview. I wasn’t surprised I didn’t get the job as I crashed and burned in my interview but five other experienced staff members also applied and it was generally seen as a dodgy decision by most people, not just those who applied and missed out. We have lost many of those applicants to other departments since the decision.

It’s taken me 18 months but I’ve finally managed to get a promotion to the same level, partly helped by a new manager who has recognised how hard I’ve worked over the years.

Doing the job for 1 year vs 10 surely makes a difference???

Nope. Nope. Nope. I’ve come across people who have been in a role for decades, yet still incredibly average at their job, whereas others who have been in the same role, or a lesser role, and are inherently suited to it, very good at it, and would have a good future if given opportunity. Guess who gets the job!

I think it’s impossible for us to say. We don’t know you or her. Most of us don’t know the industry, and none of us know the company.

That said, it must be incredibly disappointing.

Ask for feedback, but also look for another job.

I lost out on a job I really wanted in early 2022, there were two openings and I really thought one of the two people who were successful was much less qualified or suited. The job had a very inflexible interview process, and I slightly fluffed the interview.

I left to go elsewhere and now have a better than equivalent job. It was right for me to leave.

I do think it's more than a little out of order to keep unsuccessful candidates waiting since July when they told the successful person in August! They could have told you three months ago! Very rude.

Not creative industries here but have had similar experiences, the only times I've been promoted have been when I've moved organisations.

Of course now I'm so old I'm half dinosaur I'm presuming I'm probably going to get stuck for a bit in my current role so am concentrating on my self employed stuff outside the day job. We've also had a whole slew of new very young managers arrive with no previous experience in the sector and it is starting to show in the decisions they have made and are making. Almost everyone I work with is now looking to leave.

Lick your wounds, ask for feedback, and be on the alert for new job openings.

I don’t apply for internal roles unless explicitly invited to do so. They are always posted as a formality.

For those saying the length of experience is irrelevant, I strongly disagree. I’m a qualified accountant. Lots of people have an MBA and assume they are just as capable at managing a balance sheet as someone like myself. No they are not. I have 20 years of experience starting in audit, in small, medium and global companies both held privately and public. I’ve taken clients through going public, M&A activity and bankruptcy. I’m fed up of MBAs coming in and thinking they are better than a CPA at these things. No, it’s specialist work and no MBA prepares you for the role. Quite frankly, don’t insult the OP by trying to say someone with less than 5 years of experience and no specific education in the field is in any way qualified for this role compared to someone who has an education and experience in the role.

This candidate is the office darling. You say nothing and you start to look for another role elsewhere. They just told you they don’t value you, so go somewhere that does.

I once missed out on a job where I had more experience than the whole team including the person who would have been my boss. I moved on to other things and eventually had to manage the person who had turned me down while he was working out his notice after being made redundant. It was a lucky escape and I was merciful - I gave him a secluded desk so he wasn't on display. I actually am competent and the person who got the job I'd applied for certainly wasn't.

I think you might have to work on gravitas. Don't smile away like a Cheshire cat. Cultivate a modulated but firm and measured voice. Project an air of competence and unflappability. Endless books on the subject. Might be different in my industry but have a look at the senior managers in your organisation and try to emulate them. If all else fails, ask yourself what a man would do or the one who got the job. Sometime though it is just favourites.

I also think they created the job for her. If I were you, I’d move on.

How can you say that, when you don't have a clue?? Don't you understand the prejudice that goes with recruiting??