To be devastated I didn't get the job

[Ronalling]

I'll give a little context, I started at the company I'm at in 2021 (new company so no one is from before 2019, hardly anyone before 2021). I work in the entertainment/creative industries, I don't want to say exact title as could be outing with the other info, but think of the performing arts.
The company are restructuring due to faster than expected growth and wanting to focus on a different market, a new role was made, advertised only internally. I interviewed in June/July, we were told we would hear nearer the time and other things had to be sorted first. It is a middle management role, sort of joining the creative side with the company as a whole, lots of time spent on meetings and admin and making sure others are doing their jobs but still some creative input and studio time. The internal job advert was vague, no time of experience noted, just you had to already be in a certain role. I'm 35, have been doing that job at other companies for 10 years, then for as long as anyone else at this company. I have a degree that is related too.
On Thursday it was announced that a 24/25 year old, who only got the job that was required experience wise last summer, has the job and has known since August!! She is very likable and has climbed the ranks in this company, one of the originals etc. In her first few months she caused waves due to the success of one of her pieces of work. All the normal things were said, she is a breath of fresh air, brings a new level of creativity etc. Honestly I didn't get the hype, she is just very likable and dare I say pretty privilege. After this she was given the opportunity to work with other teams and none of the rest of us were. It has basically gone from me being her boss in 2021, being equals in 2022, to her being my boss now!! They are also paying for her management course (though I think they were going to do this for whoever got it).
I'm so frustrated, I don't understand what she has that I don't, she is 10 years younger, no degree, barely any experience and will be making £80,000+ a year which is substantially more than me!!
It is also unlikely she will leave the job anytime soon and there are no other obvious progression paths at this company so basically I will have to leave if I want to progress.
I guess AIBU to be upset and think it is really unfair that someone who is so much less experienced/qualified has gotten the job over me?? Should I complain to someone??

Time to move on. Spread your wings elsewhere and let them benefit for experience that was deemed unimportant to your current employer.

Sorry you've been through this. I also think you've been getting a rough time in the responses. I'm sure you're good at your job. It also sounds like the person who got the role is.

Ultimately, I think this is a hint that this company isn't for you. Do you want to progress there or do you think you can now? Take your experience to somewhere that will appreciate it.

Absolutely not haha.

Not the OP but I'm in a similar situation and this really struck a chord with me. Thank you for saying this.

I don't think you know what a nepo baby is.

There is no suggestion this woman is a nepo baby.

@MasterBeth yes I do

I haven’t read the whole thread so I don’t know if anyone else has said this, but there is an incredible fetishisation of youth in more recent years that tends to value youth and enthusiasm over experience and it can be highly frustrating for those who fall foul of it as, once you reach a certain age, that company will pass you over, even if you are perfectly competent.

I honestly don’t think it’s this. I think people have become more savvy with talent identification, as opposed to the ‘old way’ of experience = better. I’ve had people go for roles and be shocked they didn’t get it because they are far more experienced and ‘better’. That’s not what it’s about though. I project out 5 years in that role and estimate what the person will look like. Often, the person with 20 years experience, who is competent, yet average, will likely be competent yet average in the role. Whereas, another person with 5 years experience, who while not quite as good as the person of 20 years has really progressed in that 5 years and has the potential to be much better than the other person. Nothing to do with youth and enthusiasm, everything to do with actual talent and potential (as opposed to present competency and past experience).

I think the fact you have had the same job since you were 25 might have lead to some fatigue in the role that became obvious with the new dynamic younger person joining the organisation. There is a balance between gaining experience and familiarity with roles and becoming stagnant and complacent. Especially in the first 10 years when most people change jobs a few times to get promotions and experience of different organisations. Maybe it can trigger you to evaluate how you are developing in your professional roles and become a positive for you.
It's still shit though. Most of us have been there at some stage so you are definitely not alone.

Could not agree more @HoppingPavlova

@Ronalling How are you feeling now OP?

Then how on earth is the lady who got the job a nepo baby?

Follow the family connections.

Follow the family connections.
Wow.....this is a bit of a reach!!

Oh yeah, I totally skipped the bit that said the promoted colleague is the daughter of the CEO. Apologies.

Depends on the sector - I have heard entertainment/creative industries connections do often matter more than you think to open doors - though that's not to say everyone has them or that the case here.

You get articles like this:

https://theconversation.com/nepo-babies-why-nepotism-is-such-a-problem-for-british-film-and-tv-and-how-to-fix-it-202007#:~:text=Producers%20often%20use%20existing%20networks,skills%20gaps%20alone%20are%20addressed.

DH is in an adjacent field to creative one- he knows a company - taught founders - told him that gave a son a job because it meant father minor celeb would do their voice over for another project - son was qualified but won over others because it meant company would find it easier to sell their finished product. Son not in a front facing role more a tech one and dad uses stage name - it's not obvious connection.

I see little in OP to suggest that here but I wouldn't completely dismiss it.

Doesn't help the OP though - keeping her own counsel and moving on when it's convenient will though.

Depends on the sector - I have heard entertainment/creative industries connections do often matter more than you think to open doors - though that's not to say everyone has them or that the case here.

Yeah, I'm a careers and employability expert. I'm familiar with recruitment practices across a range of sectors. Connections can be important but that doesn't always result in the wrong person being recruited.

I'm pretty sure if there was even a hint of this being the case the OP would have mentioned it.

I'm pretty sure if there was even a hint of this being the case the OP would have mentioned it.

I suspect so as well but it does happen and dismissing it completely in a sector well known for it does seem a bit well dismissive.

Even if it was the case nothing OP could do about - and she'd be best of focusing on what she can do to help her future career.

Not really a reach in the creative world. Has been a shock and quite eye opening how often I have seen this recently. Wouldn't have believed how widespread it was until I saw it for myself.

Not as obvious as being the daughter of the CEO. Usually the friend of say one of the directors calling in a favour to benefit a member of their family. So the connection may not be known to OP as it won't be shouted about.

Not saying this is definitely what happened here but it is a credible possibility.

Anyway, nothing OP can do but make plans to get another job and leave this company who for whatever reason don't want what she has to offer.

I suspect so as well but it does happen and dismissing it completely in a sector well known for it does seem a bit well dismissive.

But we weren't talking about a sector, we're discussing an individual. We can only go off the information provided by the OP....you know what they say about making assumptions. 🤷‍♂️

And actually, i think it's pretty offensive to suggest that the only way a young woman could be promoted is through nepotism.

@ElaineMBenes does your experience cover specifically the creative industries? If not I'm sorry but you really don't have much to add here as they operate in a completely different way to the rest of the working world. It's one of the few areas where the Equalities Act can be disapplied.

Not saying it's the only way for someone to get opportunities but at the moment it seems to be the number one way of getting a foot in the door.

Seeing as you so confidently called the other candidate a nepo baby, I’m guessing that you have an insight into those family connections and can share them with us?

Or, as is more likely, you threw the phrase around not actually knowing whether or not it’s relevant, because it’s inconceivable to you that a younger candidate can be the better option?

@ElaineMBenes you say your in recruitment admit you've encountered nepotism that it's an issue then completely dismiss it having any bearing in a sector known for it being rife - it's not a convincing argument.

I'd agree with I don't think you can say based on this thread and that it's not helpful to dwell on any possibilities - but I don't see how you dismiss it outright.

I haven't said that the only reason a young woman could possible be promoted is nepotism. I've never even implied it - I'm just saying in this sector it's a well known problem so a other posters with apparent experience in this sector say it may be an issue shouldn't be shut down and dismissed because you don't like the idea.

you say your in recruitment admit you've encountered nepotism that it's an issue then completely dismiss it having any bearing in a sector known for it being rife - it's not a convincing argument.

Firstly, i don't work in recruitment. I work in careers and employability which is very different.
Secondly, I didn't say I had encountered nepotism, just that I am aware of it's existence and in which sectors it is prominent.
Thirdly, I didn't dismiss it as an issue in the sector. I said that a particular posters suggestion that the person the OP was referring to was a 'nepo baby' was a bit of a reach given there was no suggestion of this in the OP.

Is there a particular reason you want to pick an argument with me specifically?

Hmm I seem to have touched a nerve here with some posters

@AgaMM you can shout me down and sneer at me as much as you like it doesn't change the facts which have been backed up by other posters who have experience in this world. I'm now wondering what your motivation is to deny this happens.

Maybe because I’ve been the other candidate - promoted when being the younger and prettier and less experienced candidate. And it’s insulting that people like you think it was handed to me rather than it being something I deserved.