To be devastated I didn't get the job

[Ronalling]

I'll give a little context, I started at the company I'm at in 2021 (new company so no one is from before 2019, hardly anyone before 2021). I work in the entertainment/creative industries, I don't want to say exact title as could be outing with the other info, but think of the performing arts.
The company are restructuring due to faster than expected growth and wanting to focus on a different market, a new role was made, advertised only internally. I interviewed in June/July, we were told we would hear nearer the time and other things had to be sorted first. It is a middle management role, sort of joining the creative side with the company as a whole, lots of time spent on meetings and admin and making sure others are doing their jobs but still some creative input and studio time. The internal job advert was vague, no time of experience noted, just you had to already be in a certain role. I'm 35, have been doing that job at other companies for 10 years, then for as long as anyone else at this company. I have a degree that is related too.
On Thursday it was announced that a 24/25 year old, who only got the job that was required experience wise last summer, has the job and has known since August!! She is very likable and has climbed the ranks in this company, one of the originals etc. In her first few months she caused waves due to the success of one of her pieces of work. All the normal things were said, she is a breath of fresh air, brings a new level of creativity etc. Honestly I didn't get the hype, she is just very likable and dare I say pretty privilege. After this she was given the opportunity to work with other teams and none of the rest of us were. It has basically gone from me being her boss in 2021, being equals in 2022, to her being my boss now!! They are also paying for her management course (though I think they were going to do this for whoever got it).
I'm so frustrated, I don't understand what she has that I don't, she is 10 years younger, no degree, barely any experience and will be making £80,000+ a year which is substantially more than me!!
It is also unlikely she will leave the job anytime soon and there are no other obvious progression paths at this company so basically I will have to leave if I want to progress.
I guess AIBU to be upset and think it is really unfair that someone who is so much less experienced/qualified has gotten the job over me?? Should I complain to someone??

Really sorry OP that really sucks and sounds extremely unfair. I’d really struggle with the situation. Life can be so unfair. Good luck

I haven’t read the whole thread so I don’t know if anyone else has said this, but there is an incredible fetishisation of youth in more recent years that tends to value youth and enthusiasm over experience and it can be highly frustrating for those who fall foul of it as, once you reach a certain age, that company will pass you over, even if you are perfectly competent.

Difficult to say if that played a role here, but it might have done. My dad fell foul of it as he was entering the last ten years of his career in teaching. As he’d worked his way up, experience was valued and young people rarely got the top jobs. Positions as head teacher were often given to those of his age, who’d worked their way up. Then there was a sudden change and youth and energy were deemed more valuable. It became rare for anyone over forty to be promoted to the top positions. Nowadays, it stretches even younger.

She may have the talent to carry the job, but you might have been equally competent. You’ll likely never know, but there’s no point in complaining. I think, in your position, unless you love your current job and can rediscover your satisfaction, I would start looking elsewhere. If you leave, there might be a leaving interview where you can express your frustration over the way they lied to you when they knew perfectly well you hadn’t been successful, but unless the younger woman is making a hash of the job, any criticism of her promotion will merely look like sour grapes.

Sounds like you’ve spent 10 years moving sideways, not up. So you haven’t progressed in other companies either. Sometimes it’s good to sit down and take stock or where your strengths are and look for a more advanced role with uses those strengths instead of going for roles like this which seem to do a bit of everything.

Maybe they have created a job - this employee sounds pretty successful achieving recognition for one of her projects. The company will want to keep her, promotion is a way of doing this.

I think looking at it from your employers perspective there is perhaps another version of the story.

A new company , wanting to make a go in a competitive industry, appoints someone (OP) who has much experience and excellent contacts in the industry. They see her as a safe pair of hands whose knowledge will help to guide the company through its early inception ,will be there when they need to push on and expand and hopefully will also have their own ideas to contribute to the future of the company. A bit later they appoint a young person(YP) to work under (OP) who has no experience or relevant qualification but who really impressed at interview with their enthusiasm and willingness to learn.

For the next two years OP and YP work together. OP brings experience to the role, but doesn’t really seem to be moving things on, or have many ideas apart from those she came with. She does the work well, but is that enough for an ambitious company?

YP on the other hand learns quickly - partially thanks to OPs good example - also does her work well, but also brings lots of sparky ideas to the table. Given the chance to follow through on her own project which she conceived and successfully pitched for, she absolutely smashes it, winning recognition not only within the company but industry wide.

The company realise they have a potential star in their ranks, so they make sure they keep her by creating a new, groundbreaking role for her and tying her into a generous salary scheme. They advertise it internally as they have to and the rest is history.

Did you not base it on interview scoring? Or do you not interview internal applicants? Experience doesn't necessarily make someone better qualified to do a job.

What on earth is the OP going to say to HR? Give me the job I've been here longer? Then you're turning her into the second candidate in your post, a forced hire, and I'm sure OP doesn't want that either!

No, the younger colleague is'one of the providers', so has been there since 2019.

She got a promotion in 2022.

I did this. They didn’t think I’d leave, as I’m older and had been there ages. I was totally stale in the role they pigeonholed me into, and I recognised it too. But it was a niche role that I could do and it was virtually impossible to recruit into.

I resigned and left for a better job. I subsequently had three directors grill me on why i was going, plus contact for help after l’d left. One of the directors actually said “how could we have been so stupid”.

Sadly I was unavailable for unpaid post employment help! I know from a colleague still there that they are struggling. Touch shit. Onwards and upwards OP.

Very disappointing for you. All you can really do though is have a cry and a rant (in private) then lift your chin and get on with life.

If it helps, I once lost a job to someone ‘with the same amount of experience’. That was ok until I found out who it was and he wasn’t even born when I started in the same career!
Fingers crossed something better will come up for you.

Originals, not providers...

You don't know what he role the OP is talking about it, so you don't know how relevant your accountacy experience is when talking about this creative role.

The favoured candidate's personal qualities - including intangible and undefinable qualities like confidence, eloquence, charisma, resilience, attitude, gravitas and likeability - may be what the management has identified as being worth promoting, as well as her obvious creative abilities.

It's not horrible or unnecessary to explore the possibiltiy that this is the case. @gwenneh hasn't said that it is, and how would she know? But it's perfectly reasonable to ask if it's true.

Complaining will achieve nothing, whether the appointment is fair or unfair. People always find a justification for recruiting the person they want to recruit.

This - they may have good reasons ie she ridiculously talented or not and I don't think anyone where can say which is the case.

I would ask for feedback - one of DH college did they came back with she needed more experience - she had years of experience including 6 months informally doing the role the man they gave it to had none. She took it as a sign she'd never progress and started job hunting - then left - the management was shocked she do that.

Then they did it again 18 months later - one college had built up with own time and effort over years a significant asset handed over to someone who expected to take credit and do no work - college had 100% of time on other tasks but handed everything over but that wasn't good enough. College left as did many others over time felt management were not valuing them or seeing what they were doing.

So my advice keep your own counsel and have a look round for other jobs and leave when it suit you if you do see something else.

Take it on the chin, these things happen. Be professional. Keep doing a good job, you never know what's round the corner (she might leave/new opportunity might come up).

I'd ask for feedback on your application/interview. Frame it that you're keen to progress and any feedback for future roles would be welcomed.

I posted before but wanted to add that I am sorry you didn't get the role. I should have said so in my previous post. I have gone for jobs that were earmarked for someone else, knowing I had all the same skills but I never had a chance on reflection.

Remember, success teaches you little, failure is a great teacher. Learn from this experience including your response to it. As others have said, you may now be seen as part of the furniture, essential in your role but not seen as outstanding. Maybe going elsewhere is a choice or making more of a splash where you are.

yanbu to be disappointed and hurt.
Yabu to assume you are a better candidate- you weren’t sitting in her interview. It also sounds as though she is creative and talented- as recognised by several people in your company (even if you disagree).
Kindly, being in a role a long time does not mean you are the best person for a new position.
I have been in your situation before. Myself and a colleague were passed up for promotion for a younger less experienced candidate. My colleague became very bitter whereas I smiled and got on with it until a much better opportunity came along.

I think they're idiots if they hired her for this role for being young and pretty. If they hired her for her talent there is nothing you can do but be gracious.

Take a few days to feel sorry for yourself then start looking for opportunities elsewhere. The only person who can make this situation better now is you. I'm sure you have lots to offer another company.

I think they're idiots if they hired her for this role for being young and pretty

Nothing to suggest that apart from OP being bitter. And quite insulting towards her that people even think that’s why she was hired. Young and pretty can be intelligent and talented too.

Ask for feedback but please don't complain.

I know it sucks, but I worked for a company that always promoted based on length of service rather than the best person for the job. It was terribly run and eventually had to bring in external managers to reverse the failure.

Except they didn’t. She’s been with the company since 2021 and in that time been promoted.

I think they're idiots if they hired her for this role for being young and pretty.

There is no suggestion that this is the case

The OP said she has been doing the same job for 10 years, albeit for different companies, but the same role. So, no one else has promoted her either. I doubt this other woman got the job over the OP just because she is young and pretty.

It’s hard to say without knowing a bit more about the job. If it’s a creative role then that’s something experience can’t always improve. If she’s bringing fresh ideas that convert to financial success then it really doesn’t matter how old she is.

In my experience when a role is only advertised internally it has already been earmarked for a particular person and that person knows it before anyone else even hears about the opening.

So don't take it personally. This sounds like nepo baby to me.

Only time will tell whether this person is the right candidate for the role. I would certainly ask for feedback from the interview which might shed more light on their reasoning for appointing someone with less experience.