To be devastated I didn't get the job

[Ronalling]

I'll give a little context, I started at the company I'm at in 2021 (new company so no one is from before 2019, hardly anyone before 2021). I work in the entertainment/creative industries, I don't want to say exact title as could be outing with the other info, but think of the performing arts.
The company are restructuring due to faster than expected growth and wanting to focus on a different market, a new role was made, advertised only internally. I interviewed in June/July, we were told we would hear nearer the time and other things had to be sorted first. It is a middle management role, sort of joining the creative side with the company as a whole, lots of time spent on meetings and admin and making sure others are doing their jobs but still some creative input and studio time. The internal job advert was vague, no time of experience noted, just you had to already be in a certain role. I'm 35, have been doing that job at other companies for 10 years, then for as long as anyone else at this company. I have a degree that is related too.
On Thursday it was announced that a 24/25 year old, who only got the job that was required experience wise last summer, has the job and has known since August!! She is very likable and has climbed the ranks in this company, one of the originals etc. In her first few months she caused waves due to the success of one of her pieces of work. All the normal things were said, she is a breath of fresh air, brings a new level of creativity etc. Honestly I didn't get the hype, she is just very likable and dare I say pretty privilege. After this she was given the opportunity to work with other teams and none of the rest of us were. It has basically gone from me being her boss in 2021, being equals in 2022, to her being my boss now!! They are also paying for her management course (though I think they were going to do this for whoever got it).
I'm so frustrated, I don't understand what she has that I don't, she is 10 years younger, no degree, barely any experience and will be making £80,000+ a year which is substantially more than me!!
It is also unlikely she will leave the job anytime soon and there are no other obvious progression paths at this company so basically I will have to leave if I want to progress.
I guess AIBU to be upset and think it is really unfair that someone who is so much less experienced/qualified has gotten the job over me?? Should I complain to someone??

100% agree with this. I am a CEO and have had average people work for us for over a decade.

In her first few months she caused waves due to the success of one of her pieces of work. All the normal things were said, she is a breath of fresh air, brings a new level of creativity etc

Sounds to me like a grafter. She put a shift at the start, did excellent work and sounds very good at her job and is now reaping the rewards of her hard work. You sound jealous when you reduce her success to pretty privilege

The question could be why have you been doing the same job 10 years. Don’t assume it’s a positive.

She’s successful. You sound jealous. The fact that it’s occurred to you that you have any grounds to complain says a lot about your attitude and a degree of entitlement. Which probably says a lot.

@Ihavetoleavemyjob Especially if you know the job should’ve been yours. I missed a promotion and was devastated

Why would anyone know/assume any job is automatically 'theirs'? The whole point of an inerview is fairness -or do you feel that neoptism/favouritism should still be the route to career progression?
You believe that you were back-stabbed by your colleague, who then took 'your' job... how do you know what was said in the room? Are you so confident that the job was 'yours' you didn't interview well? Who led you to believe that the job was yours?
Fresh blood is often the best thing for an organisation, that's why most interview both internal and external candidates

She’s proven herself and is flying up the ranks quickly. Being in the same position for 10 years doesn’t always go in your favour I’m afraid.

It's a hard lesson but they picked someone they prefer. You didn't sell yourself as well while you were in your job or the interview (the interview was probably just a formality).
Time to look elsewhere and start again at a new company.
I've been through this - it's hard. But with a new company you can start again and try to make waves in the way she has.

I understand your frustration op, it does seem unfair on the surface. However, she must have offered something you didn’t. Identify what that is and work on it.

In her first few months she caused waves due to the success of one of her pieces of work

This key, I think. She sounds more than usually talented. In the creative industries this is significant.

In creative professions in particular, some people are naturally talented and fly up the ranks.
Others are hard-working and plod up.

I understand OP. It's OK to feel a bit put out by this - the company has dealt with the whole thing very badly, and you believe you're a better fit for the job. That said, you need to decide what you want to do now, whether that's getting on with things within the company, or looking for a new role elsewhere.

Totally agree with this. I had a boss who was a bully but I felt trapped as I was planning my family (I was doing ivf). She completely knocked my confidence. She ended up getting sacked for bullying (well - put on secondment and didn't come back) as other people complained about her.
The amount of times I wanted to leave and was desperate to do so but couldn't. As soon as I had my second child I was out of the door and i'm much happier now.
Moral of the story - if management don't back you, leave! It's miserable to stay and damages your confidence.

I do agree with the pp that said it sounds like the role was created for this person and advertised internally to show fairness.

i work in a company where nepotism is so rife, it's sickening.

There are so few opportunities of promotion where I work and when a job rarely comes up, you just think 'well it's not worth it because it's earmarked for someone else'.

One person who works there now was the bosses great nephew. He started off helping out in an admin role during uni holidays. He was mediocre, with the personality of a wet mop.

Now he has a job I would have applied for had it ever been advertised, with a company car, which I'm sure is commensurate with a grade much higher than a uni admin student and much higher than myself.

Also, his mum is about to get a senior position, with the application date especially extended just for her to apply.

This is a small insight and one example of what goes on in our wonderful company.

Internally, there are supposedly some jobs coming up (which have been mooted for about a year, but anyone is yet to see materialise) which I am more than qualified for. Will I apply? Highly doubt it. What's the point?

BUT apart from the very toxic environment of the company as a whole, I like a couple of my close colleagues, I'm on a great wage and the perks of the job make it not worth leaving, so I'm gonna suck it up.

You need to decide if you are willing to do the same.

OP mumsnetters always assume those senior to them are right/ highly competent/ able to accurately judge everything. So they will fall over themselves to tell you that you obviously aren’t as good as you think.

I think you sound over invested though if I’m honest. Everyone at some point doesn’t get a job they think they should have or wanted, being devastated about it harms only you. It’s perfectly possible they’ve got it wrong.

When it happened to me quite obviously they’d decided the other person was getting it. I was told I was weak strategically because I said stuff that didn’t match with current strategy. A new MD came in a year later and implemented what I’d suggested 🤷🏻‍♀️. It would have helped our market share to do it earlier though 🤣

Ask for formal feedback on why you didn’t get the role. Ask how they feel you could improve your chances next time. Get any improvements required written into your objectives and make sure you are regularly assessed against those going forward so as to prove that you are serious about increasing your chances of promotion.
Or look for another job..

The company dealt with the process very badly by telling her she had the job back in August but not telling you until recently. That shows a lack of respect and poor judgment.
I would be looking for another job based on that alone, let alone whether they were swayed by things they shouldn’t have been swayed by, such as who she is friends with.

Do you really have this much faith that ‘feedback’ will be of use here?

Feedback can be great but you have to take a careful look at who is giving it and why before taking it seriously. Otherwise you are liable to go round in circles and lose sanity.

I’ve been given some ridiculous feedback over the course of my working life.

What a horrible, nasty and misogynistic post.

i was shocked when involved in recruitment
the older more experienced lady was not offered the job, it went to someone in her 20s
when i questioned the manager said she would be more pliable.
plus she did have experience in something that wasn't reported for the role but became part of the role

Eh?

You have evidence she’s wrong right?

That’s not nepotism though. Unless she’s related or connected to the people who hired her. Which doesn’t sound the case here.

Please don’t perpetuate the sexist trope of a “young pretty woman” getting more than she “deserves”.

We don’t know anything about this woman, and you don’t really know anything about the woman who got the job over you - when you admitted you did badly at interview. Maybe these successful women are just talented and good at their jobs?

I understand your disappointment. Don't complain it will look like sour grapes.

Maybe there is some nepotism towards her. It happens in every company.

Look for other jobs that your interested in.

Unfortunately you can do nothing other than look for another job.

The fact that the job did not require any time of experience probably meant they created the role for her but took other internal applications to give the appearance of objectivity.

Agree with this. She has come into the company and quickly established herself with a strong reputation. I bet the job was vague as it was created for her and whoever else applied was never going to get it.

I'd reflect on how you are perceived in your organisation.

I've been someone who secured a role someone else went for and felt they should have been appointed into. She was bitter and didn't half let me know it. I didn't actually point out that the way she was acting so unprofessionally, was one of the reasons she didn't get the job. I did get it smoothed out in the end but my advice is don't be bitter. Step back and reflect on what has happened and how you are viewed in your organisation.

But in the creative industries, the importance (or lack) of length of experience is different.

while i see how it feels awful and horrible for the OP - and would for me too - I can see how a person in a role for a decade would be overlooked for someone clearly talented and making waves already with much less experience. In the creative industries, you’re often only really as good as your last year or two of work.

In my industry, many hugely accomplished and talented award winning people, working for decades, are put out to pasture after about 50 years old or so (men and women) if they haven’t already made a move into very high up management (which most of them don’t want to do)