Messaging birthday party no shows

[Havanawinter]

I’ve been stewing on this since last weekend and can’t decide if I’m BU. My son turned 6 last week and had a soft play party. We invited 20 kids, 18 RSVPd yes, all seemed well. Come the day of the party and 5 of the kids don’t show up. No messages in advance and nothing since. I want to say something to the parents of the no shows along the lines of “sorry X couldn’t make it in the end, please let me know in the future as we could have offered their spot to another child” but DH says that’s crass and I should just leave it. It’s £70-odd down the drain too and I think it’s just rude not to send a message saying “oh sorry X Is ill and can’t come to the party”

AIBU?

I once thought a party was on a Sunday and it was on the Saturday. I was mortified and my child was really upset. Not everyone is doing this to be rude. Add illness and trips to A&E and you will find guests drop out without any messages. My child had a Build A Bear party where two guests were no shows. Luckily I stepped in as a guest and also offered to pay the minimum party amount so we could go ahead. Unfortunately these things happen. Maybe ask what happened at school pick up but otherwise appreciate that these things are just part of the cost of a party unfortunately.

Did you not let the party host know once you realised your mistake?
One week later and OP has heard from none of them.

@EarthlyNightshade the Mum contacted me on the Saturday but we had no way of getting there before the party ended 😞. I still feel bad ten years later. We gave them the present we had bought on the Monday with huge apologies and organised a play date to do something to make up for it.

aw, bless you. It does easily happen and a bit of communication means that party host is not going to feel bad.
I turned up a day early for a party once. Turned up again same time the day after - and no one was any the wiser (unless DS told people, which is fairly likely)

I remember this happened on a birthday of my granddaughter. Her Mum had paid quite a lot of money for each child, and several just didn't turn up - either no phone call at all or a phone call half an hour beforehand. It is extremely rude and thoughtless but she did not take it any further, and neither would I. I just wouldn't invite the no-shows in future.

I agree it's annoying and I'd be upset too. But regards reminders, people have different ways of planning their lives and a reminder costs nothing.

My DH has a medical condition that causes him to lose focus at times and I have to remind him of nursery pick up time, every single time. No he's not just being a twerp, it's sn actual thing. He might recall there's a party somewhere on a weekend in Nov, but that would be it.

Failure to arrive after a reminder would render a no invite next time for me though.