Or is he - moving costs after relationship end.

[DietCokeAddict19]

Ex has lived with me, rent free but paying half the bills, for 5 years. In that time he’s been able to rent out his own place to the tune of £1800 a month which he has been putting in savings.

So we’ve split up, and he has moved out and back into his own place. He lives 3 hours away, so with various trips and van hire, it’s cost him £220.

In the process of sorting out finances and our joint account etc, and he has asked me to pay half of his moving costs.

I’ve told him he’s being completely unreasonable - it’s not my problem that he lives 3 hours away and needed to hire a van.

From a guy who earns at least 4 times my salary, he’s just being a CF, right?

Very close shave!!

I told him he was being completely unreasonable, but no response from him yet. He must know he is taking the piss?! Anyway, at least I'm in no doubt now that it wasn't the right relationship!

We went halves on 3 household items whilst he lives here - washing machine, fridge, dishwasher. He wants his half of that money back. Reasonable, or not?

No, of course not.

I'd reply saying you'll give him half what these items are currently worth, i.e. if they were being sold second hand, if he pays you five years worth of rent.

But since it's your house he can't do anything at all.

The nuclear option would be to get some mates round to move all his stuff outside and then change the locks and block his number.

Not! He didn’t pay rent for 5yrs but received rent from his own house? Did he split that with you? If he did then maybe it’s reasonable to give him half of the current value, not new value.
Wow he really had it worked out. Surely you knew he was tight

She says he put it all in savings and didn't split it with her.

What happened to the old ones?

just curious - he’s had the benefit of these items but ultimately they’ve been necessary and replaced the ones you owned originally. I wouldn’t give him half.

They were broken so got scrapped.

Then ask him for half the savings minus half the appliances and half the transport costs.

Introduce him to the idea of a cocklodger.

And tell him to fuck off about those items. You may have split the costs, but he has full use of them and didn't pay a penny rent while collecting a lot of rent of his own.

Tell him he is welcome to take you to the small claims court.

No, the income from his flat being rented out was not shared with me.

I know I've got myself to blame for some of this as I've clearly acted like a total mug, and by asking opinions on here it seems like I am continuing to be influenced by his idea of "fairness".

He's kicked off about me not paying for his moving costs. It's actually laughable what he wrote because it's so far removed from the truth! He said he "had to move all his stuff out within 3 days" and therefore it was costly for him. The truth was, I said things weren't working, he said "I thought you were going to say that so I've already looked into van hire". He left that day (his choice, I didn't actually ask him to leave) and returned a couple of days later with a van (again, his choice, and in fact he decided on that day as he needed to be in my city on that day anyway). Fucking delusional fuckwit.

If he's already gone then just block his number and ignore any attempts to contact you via other means.

The silver lining here is that you can operate a scorched earth policy now which will help you to move on more quickly. And hopefully you will be better able to recognise the signs of a cocklodger once you start dating again.

Don’t pay him a penny!!

Absolutely not. He lived in your house rent free while earning a very decent rent from his properties. He should have given you half. Next time he asks for money tell him that if he asks again you will go for half of the rents he earned during his stay with you.

He's gone. Drop the rope and don't respond to him.

"Dear dickhead,

You are absolutely right that we should share everything accrued during our relationship. Accordingly please send me my half of the savings which we built up by you living, for free, in my house and renting yours out. Please feel free to deduct 72 pounds for my share of second hand white goods.

Best etc"

@MinnieGirl I agree. Proper cf.

Just out of interest, would I have any claim on the rent that he earned whilst living with me? I don't imagine that I do, but maybe I'm wrong?

Not that I would actually go down that route. But I've been a total pushover so far and really want to stand up for myself here.

No, you won't have any claim on his rent. That should've been agreed before he moved in. After all, if you had moved in with him, you could've rented your place out and kept that money. You have learned a hard lesson.

If you were married, you'd have a claim on his assets and vice versa. You' weren't so no, you don't.

Unfortunately, like so many women, you slipped into the trap of a man moving in and getting far more of the financial benefit than the woman.

but on the plus side, he's gone now. So you can move on and learn from this.

continue to laugh at him about the moving costs. hahahahahaha. And as for the appliances, just ignore him. Or you could suggest that he buys new appliances with all that cash he's been saving from renting out his house!

@DietCokeAddict19 so in fact, he has managed to save £108,000 by renting out his flat and he wants you to share his moving out costs????? he is having a laugh!! you should be wanting half of "his" savings!!!!!! as for wanting half what he spent on the appliances, he would have spent more going to the launderette to wash and dry his clothes! did he not benefit the use of all the appliances??? jesus, what a chancer he is!!

Yep. A hard lesson indeed. But at least I'm out before we got married. I might be down financially (again!) but I've got my kids and my home and we are going to be ok. He might have thousands in the bank, but he's lost his place in our little family, and he can't pay for a new one of those.

Oh it's sickening in terms of the financial inequality, but again I know it's all my own fault for not asking for rent or for some of his rental income to come to me. I had to stop claiming my tax credits (£500 a month, which he didn't replace) when he moved in, and I can't claim for again now as it's switched to UC which I am not eligible for.

Meh, onwards and upwards.

I agree with asking him for half the rent, less whatever the second hand value of the washing machine etc. He's a parasite.

Was he paying tax on his rental income? You could always report him to HMRC, for a nice bit of revenge.