Child hitting my child at school

[ShepherdMoons]

Youngest dd has two new children in her class. Both have ASD and should be in specialist provision but the school has a new unit and is part of a new programme to help children with special needs be in a mainstream classroom. They spend an hour in the unit each day and then they are in the classroom for the day.

I totally appreciate that both children have many challenges and it must be very hard for them too but my child is coming home each day saying that X has hit her hard on her back, been kicked, pushed. Each day I have been to the teacher as my child is getting more distressed and frightened. The teacher has been putting more measures in place to help the boys but I have also a meeting with the Head tomorrow to voice my concerns.

Today one of the boys kicked the dinner lady and will spend time in the unit for this but then he will inevitably be back in the classroom next week. This is also disruptive to the children learning as there is more noise and general disruption due to them struggling to concentrate. AIBU to consider moving my dd out of this school?

Why shouldn't she.

Who would want to be hurt in their job

My son has asd and attends an autism class (I hate the word unit) anyway he attends mainstream for a small part of the day and spends most of his time in the smaller calmer class setting. It looks like these children are not having their needs met so you need to constantly complain as their behavior is not acceptable. Unfortunately sometimes schools open up special classes without fully taking on board the commitment and the work involved. It's not simply a case of opening a class and it will all work out great.

I d think this is a real gap in education. It works for no one. The kids who can’t cope in mainstream are forced to be there. They may disrupt or hurt the other kids. Teachers time gets taken from teaching.

The only specialist provision now is for kids with severe disabilities or really severe behavioural problems.

I presume the only reason it’s like this as the government doesn’t want to spend money to address this gap and can hide behind the ridiculously simplistic and demonstrable wrong idea that ‘inclusion’ ( by which they mean bunging everyone in together with no real thought and analysis of the benefits and harms of this ) is always a good thing.

No I’m not but I do understand confidentiality as does ANYONE working in school

Sure….and how exactly do you think she’s broken confidentiality in this scenario?

Because she shouldn’t be naming children and gossiping about them to other parents.

Many can't cope with mainstream school though. Cruel to put them in mainstream school.

I think you want to try reading that again

It’s the boys mother who’s ‘gossiping’ about the attack, laughing and joking about it to the OP, not the poor dinner lady who’s been attacked by a violent child!

If you can afford private then please move her. You will be a paying customer there, and private schools can't afford to tolerate that sort of behaviour for fear of losing pupils.
Any really badly behaved children are managed out. (This happened in my granddaughter's school).

That’s not victim blaming. She’s not saying she is responsible for being attacked.

Lovely. All of us poor people will just have to suck up having those kids in our schools.

OP said The dinner lady at dd's school was really (understandably) upset by what happened in the playground. the OP also seems to know the child’s disability, that his support involves an absent TA and a unit, and when he is “punished” and how often he is in and out of class. Disabled people have a right to privacy, he presumably can’t attend school without this support and it definitely shouldn’t be common knowledge in the playground.

All that said repeatedly insisting on your child’s safety will help him get more support and help her have a more peaceful school experience.

It isn’t right that your daughter is in this position. I would write to your MP outlining your concerns. There is a reason that there is an Education crisis. The crisis is real and the government are aware and should be held accountable . Schools and school staff are trying their best in very difficult contexts. Unfortunately, change will not happen unless parents and communities rally behind schools. As a mother to a child about to start school and as a teacher, it breaks my heart to know that this situation is not isolated and is very much the norm.

Private school have a lot of neurodiverse children especially in early primary.

Absolutely! Completely agree

Lucky schools

I work as a midday supervisor and no, it's not at all.appropriate to discuss incidents that happen at school outside school staff. As for being kicked etc, it's a very regular occurrence, not just by students, parents can be very violent too.

All children???
Thankfully no it's not the same in England I have a severely autistic non verbal.13 year old
Who.has always Been a special school I can't imagine how it would benefit him.at all.to.be in mainstream , Op, you need to ask the school.what they are doing to safeguard your child concentrate on how she us being let down.

Not sure why you would presume the staff member would be talking about it and not the OPs child? Or the child’s mother who was openly laughing about his violence in public…

Could you maybe try sounding less insulting towards kids with SEN?

Really so she should just take the abuse because you know. Op please move your dd if you can. This could entirely ruin her education experience. My dc is in private and quite honestly these types of problems are very rare. And this type of issues would be very much dealt with quickly.

Mainstream school.doesn't always benefit the disabled child though .

I assume they would be those that are less challenging though .

I wouldn’t hesitate to move.

There are sensible ways of dealing with issues that are a long way from suck it up, or badmouth a very small disabled child to his community.