Nannies at the school gate

180 replies

Celticliving · 16/11/2023 18:13

Inspired by the current 'school pick-up' thread.

AIBU to say that parents pretty much ignore the nannies at the gate?

25 years as a nanny and in my experience, parents won't talk to the nannies unless they want something (ie "can you be a darling and take Henrietta home from ballet" or "Could Rupert please come to you for a playdate on Thursday").

It's interesting now that I'm older because people are all friendly, assuming that I'm the parent, but as soon as I let them know that I'm the nanny, they don't want to know.

Obviously I'm not putting ALL parents into the same box (I do have a couple of very close 'Mum friends' from over the years) but that is generally my experience and the experience of all my nanny friends.

Are you a nanny or a parent? What's your experience?

OP posts:

Original poster

Celticliving · 19/11/2023 22:52

Barbadossunset · 19/11/2023 17:05

There was a documentary about Norland nannies - they used to run a 'hotel' for children whose parents were travelling. One of the nannies got quite emotional about a child who was having their second birthday party there - as they had with their first.

I remember that documentary. I would love to have seen a follow up, eg what the trainee nannies were doing two or three years later.
My children and my friends’ children are grown up so the subject of nannies doesn’t really arise, but I did hear that Norland nannies now earn £2000 a week.

Some Norlanders will get paid that much but that's the very, very experienced ones, working for the mega rich.

Some Norlanders work for more 'normal' families for more 'normal' salaries.

OP posts:

inloveandmarried · 19/11/2023 23:19

We had a small class of 15 for the first four years. Two of the mums had Nannies and one mum was a childminder. We included them in all the normal mum stuff. In fact when the first nanny married and had her first baby we continued to socialise/fund raise/ toddler groups.

Baba197 · 20/11/2023 15:49

Yep! I was a nanny before had my son and lots of the posh private school parents ignored me until they needed help with play dates etc. so rude

gotomomo · 20/11/2023 16:46

The nannies stood together at my DD's school, they were fairly friendly if you spoke to them but it was clear they preferred to gossip together, mostly about their employers. There was a second huddle of au pairs, they tended to be more chatty, I think because they touted for extra babysitting work! Then there were grandparents, very friendly bunch, then the council/ha group who hated me because I was an incomer and owned my house, the vitriol was quite obvious from day 1, took me by surprise (small village, word got around quickly) then the rest of us ... we moved to the city after 3 years, suited me better

NMOB · 20/11/2023 19:50

Oh god. That’s incredibly sad.

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