Husband refuses to keep sentimental items for our children

[Kitkat189]

I recently did a big clear out at home and finally got around to creating little memory boxes for my children, with things like their christening gowns, first haircut, hospital id badges, ultrasound pictures, one or two special outfits - you get the idea. One of my daughters joined in and added a few items which are special to her (leavers shirt from school, acceptance letter to secondary). I laundered, ironed, mended, ordered acid free tissue paper to wrap clothing in, tied with ribbons blah blah. The boxes were purchased from a company which specialises in keepsake boxes. About 45x30 cm so slightly larger than a big shoebox

husband was so annoyed with how much space these boxes took up and wanted them
gone. He doesn’t see any point to keeping any of this. All he had to say was ‘I would never have bought those [boxes]’.

I feel ridiculously hurt by this. We’ve kept an absolute minimum of baby things over the years, husband took everything straight to oxfam as soon as he could and we only kept a few special items. I just wanted some memories for my children for when they leave home. Something tangible to remember their childhood. Husbands parents never did this for him, maybe that’s why he is so unsentimental.

This morning was spent emptying the boxes and putting a few of the things in a small bin bag which can fit under one of the children’s beds. All the carefully wrapped clothes and christening gowns are just lying around now, soon to be disposed of I assume.

Help me get over this. I don’t know why I am so attached to these things and why I feel so upset, he feels differently about these things and I should be able to accept it but I can’t!!

Why do you have to do what he wanted? Do you and the dc not get a say?

That is disgusting and so disrespectful of your H. Honestly put everything back as it was and bin him. Trust me, you'll be happier

If you want to keep it, tell him that's what you're doing. Or does he get to choose what happens all the time with everything?

Put everything back in the boxes and put them in your wardrobe. He has no right to tell you what you can and can’t keep. Does he always control you in this way?

Why does he get to decide?

Well it depends how much space you have really.

If your house is small and already bursting at the seams with stuff then I can see why he would be annoyed, although he obviously shouldn’t have got angry and should have talked constructively about what could be got rid of to make space.

If there is plenty of space to store the boxes then he’s being a dick.

I'm not going to help you get over this because being upset is an appropriate response. Put the stuff back in the boxes / buy new boxes and carry on as you were. Is he always a dick or just about this?

Why didn’t you just tell him tough? Even if DH didn’t see the value in something like that he would never tell me I couldn’t keep them. Is he controlling in other ways?

Go round and start binning his shit you don't want in the house anymore.

Why does his opinion trump yours?

Where are the boxes to be kept? If taking over his wardrobe I understand but if their storage doesn't massively affect him then why shouldn't you keep them?

I've got loads of stuff from ds' childhood....never entered my head to ask dh! And hell would freeze over before I got rid of any of it or emptied my memory boxes on the sayso of someone else.
Why are you letting him tell you what to do? Just ignore him!!

What the hell?!! If mine did this to my memory boxes I’d rip his head off. And I’m quite sure he has no interest in them himself, but he knows better than to rob me of them. You need to get him told. They are staying because they matter to me and they are only x number of boxes. If he ignores you and bins them or the contents, then treat him to a taste of his own medicine. Favourite leather jacket? Off to Oxfam. Extra large TV than you don’t see the need for? Off to the tip.

I would insist on keeping them and be very angry if stuff was thrown away. I have kept way more than that even though I declutter regularly. How does it actually bother him if the stuff isn't even in his space?

Even as a bit of a minimalist stuck in a tiny house I find this reprehensible. You're supposed to keep things that give you joy. It's not his house or his life so why does he get to speak for all of you about what's important or joyful for you to keep? He sounds so controlling!

I don’t understand why you let him do that?

He is not the boss of you.

Put them back k in the boxes. You and your children have the right to keep stuff.

WTAF??

Why does he get to dictate what you do with things that really matter to you??

Yes, put the items back right now and get him told.

keep the things and boxes, it doesn't really matter what he would or wouldn't do, this is what you and the kids wanted to do. I doubt your house is that small that boxes can't stored.

Why in gods name are you doing what he wants? Just carry on and say it's what you and the children want and it's what you're doing.

Put the stuff back and store it in your children's wardrobes. They'll look after them they're old enough.

Tell your husband to do one.

Are you being serious, how dare he?

Ugh, what a cold-hearted arsehole! Can you keep the boxes in the children's rooms?

I think it’s fine for him to be annoyed about it but why is he the boss of you and your children? Surely he is outnumbered here if both you and your children want the keepsake boxes. Put your big girl pants on, take everything out of the bags, gather up the stuff that’s just lying around and put it back in the boxes. If stuff needs re-ironing now, so be it. If you need to order new tissue paper, do it. You are a grown woman and do not need to accept his position when you feel so strongly about it and it has minimal impact on him.