I know I'm a humbug but help me please!!

[Ceci03]

So I don't get on that well with one of my colleagues at work and since an "incident" I really don't want to socialize with her. I managed to get out of the Xmas night out due to COL -actually only 4 people are going from our team of 10 so I'm not sticking out for that

But just got an invite from the managers that we are going on a trip to town- about 25min walk - to do "christmassy" things like get a hot choc or hot whiskey or ... and to look at Xmas lights.

I really don't want to go. It's from 3-5pm on a Tuesday. I just hate those things and walking down to the town is a pain. And then walking back up again at 5 I will be really late home. Not massive but I just don't want to.

Anyone think of a good excuse. I was thinking could I say I have a sore foot... or hide in the toilets til they go I don't know if they would even notice I wasn't there . Please help and dont be cross with me for being bah humbug

Personally, I would love if my work did things like that 🤣 However, if I were in your situation, I would have a sprained ankle....

This 🤣. I’d just hang back and look at an ‘extra pretty light’ so I didn’t have to walk with the people I don’t like

Just get on with it but make it clear you have plans straight from work so will need to start heading back early. I have to help out at Xmas lights switch on, kids discos etc as part of my job, can’t say I like it much but I just get on and do it

Could you not just ask if you’re okay to drive yourself down rather than walk? Asthma/foot or ankle pain/need to be home on time, whatever your reasons that would help avoid the awkward walk down and also give you somewhere for a breather if you need to take one for 5 mins.

No, it wasn’t loaded with judgement.

And correcting people’s sayings when the meaning is completely the same is what’s pompous.

If you can't see the judgement in "Those that like their fun organised in advance so they can be prepared for those communal Instagram moments and those that like their fun to creep up on them spontaneously, away from the madding crowd" then you aren't qualified to make judgements about anything else.

If you're going to try to imply superiority by quoting something, you need to get it right. Bathsheba Everdene was a horrible cow anyway.

I've just noticed this!

Thank you wesurecouldstandgladioli - I appreciate your comment very much.

SurprisedWithAHorse I think you misconstrued my earlier comment but that's fine. I'm truly sorry if I aggravated you. I hope we can at least agree that Thomas Hardy was a wonderful writer. I particularly enjoyed Far from the Madding Crowd as it happens.

All best wishes to you both.

The poster used similar language for both camps. Others could say ‘like their fun to creep up on them spontaneously, away from the madding crowd’ is quite judgemental, the word ‘creep’ has negative connotations.

She wasn’t trying to imply superiority, she specifically said ‘The world should be able to embrace both types of people without judgement.’

And no, people don’t have to quote sayings word for word, misquoting is common and often a literary device.

No, they clearly did not, and that is so obvious that you plainly have some reason for pretending otherwise. I'm sure this reason is very important and interesting to you, but it's not to me.

Then why start pontificating about it? Yawn.

Invent a minor injury that means you can't walk that far. Offer to drive to meet them so you can leave immediately in your car when they set off walking back or just say you can't walk that much at all and stay in the office.

I love most of my work colleagues, have a laugh at work, but the Christmas do thing, of which we’ve all been invited to has come around again.

I’ve learned to decline, to say no, it’s just not my thing now but every time I decline I’m given the third degree of ‘but why’ etc and they won’t take no for an answer. It got to a point this year where one colleague threw a bit of a wobbly at me, why? Don’t force someone if they’ve said no. I don’t need to make an excuse, I’d just rather not. I don’t live local to work, unlike my colleagues, therefore it’s me that will be driving, getting home over an hour later, they live 5 minutes from the venue!

It’s ok not to want to go, OP and I’m sorry you’ve been given a hard time by some. The fact that the last time a trip to town, where most of your colleagues organised lifts without inviting you, then made you feel embarrassed when you got there, is obviously still affecting you.

In this instance I would try and come up with an excuse! Plantar Fasciitis? Excuse that you have an appointment later that night so by the time you’d walked into town it would be time to head back, so you’ll stay in the office? Decline on the day, stating you think you’ve eaten something dodgy at lunch so will give it a miss so that you can stay close to the toilet?

Hope you come back OP.

Clearly from your reply’s it’s not about the walk and other people so much so that you have no leave time left and this will let you leave the office early with nobody noticing it.

problem is what if someone comes back early? Then what.

Just be honest and say you don’t fancy it…

You've pulled a muscle in your leg so you need to avoid too much walking. What a shame.

Late to this, but I think a good old fashioned dose of sudden onset winter vomiting bug would be called for the day of this outing. I’ll bet you might not be the only person ringing in sick that morning.

This.

Have a ‘dentist’ appointment at 430pm

Never refuse an invitation. Walk with a colleague, have a bit of fun. You sound as if you need it. Get away from the routine, life is short.

I would tell the truth you just don't want to go and who upset that their business 🤷🏾‍♀️

This really doesn’t need to be a big deal. 2 choices, go and if it’s the walk that’s bothering you could you drive into town and then meet up with colleagues?
Or if it’s because it’s not something your interested in just say thanks for the invite but I’ll pass. You don’t need an excuse your an adult you can do what you want. See what your options are if you don’t go, can you stay and work, leave early, take 2 hours unpaid and go home?
I get on with colleagues at work and we all have a laugh etc but socialising out of work has never been an interest of mine I’d rather be at home with my family if I’m honest so I totally understand where your coming from. The only thing I don’t understand is why you don’t just say no thank you

I have to say, it sounds quite nice, but, if you’re not into this kind of thing, then back out. Will you lose your job if you don’t go? If not, then be honest, and say it’s not your thing, and stay at your work and do whatever it is you do there.

Surely you wouldn't be the only person not going. I don't see a problem saying you won't be able to go with them.

Just say 'no thanks'. They can't force you at gun point.

Seeing that most arranged to drive last time, can you plan to drive this time, or get the bus? Then make out that you can't find them, must have missed them, whatever.