MIL said I embarrassed her in front of her family. WIBU?

[Bigredjumper]

Ar the weekend, my partner and I hosted a family get together for his mother, aunt, cousin and her husband and children. I offered to cook for the get together.

A few weeks before, his cousin messaged saying that she is trying to cut UPFs from her children's diet and asked me to let her know if this would be an issue so she could bring good food with her. I thanked her for letting me know and we agreed I'd run everything past her to make sure she was comfortable with her children eating it. I enjoy cooking so I had absolutely no issue with this; I want to reduce the amount of UPFs I eat anyway.

I decided to make fajitas three ways (chicken, steak and halloumi). The only things I could think of which might not be okay were:

Dried herbs/spices
Cathedral city cheese
Sour cream
Tomato paste (from a local deli, not the tomato puree in a tube)
Oliver oil (from the same deli)

Partner's cousin assured me these were fine for her and her family. I made the tortillas myself, and the meat came from a local butchers. I also made sweet potato fries and a big mumsnetty salad.

I thought the get together went well and everyone seemed to enjoy the food.

My partner's mother text me today saying she cannot believe I thought it was okay to serve her family such junk food. She said I'd embarrassed her and my partner in front of her sister and I should think long and hard before agreeing to host anyone again.

I couldn't believe what I was reading. My partner and his cousin have assured me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with what I served and to ignore her. But I can't stop thinking I did something wrong and should have served something healthier. Especially considering there were children.

So WIBU? Apologies this is so long!

Right? even if you're not used to tortillas (which by the way are pretty mainstream these days), it's quite a jump from "well this is different" to "you've brought shame on our family".

She's either incredibly sheltered or really gammon. Or just VERY rude.

Snap, @Gardeningtime

@TimetoPour

She is clearly a stuffy, miserable hag”

I don’t disagree that MIL is being unreasonable but your language is very misogynistic and ageist…not cool.

Don't let her round again. She's crazy.

I don’t think it’s about UPFs but more about a ridiculous stick-in-the-mud attitude regarding anything that isn’t traditional meat n’ 2 veg. My mum can be slightly similar although once I’ve explained about anything a bit “unusual”(her word!) then she is fine and gets stuck in. Your MIL is a bitch and it would be a cold day in hell before I ever cooked her anything ever again. So glad your DH has got your back.

I'm going to use a word I don't use a lot.
Your MIL sounds like a cunt.
I'd tell her she's never welcome at your house for food again.

Firstly that meal sounds absolutely amazing and super healthy (I wish I was invited)
secondly she is incredibly ungrateful for your stunning hospitality
i can understand why you are upset, I’m glad others have said the meal was lovely, maybe they could speak to mil?

I bloody love fajitas. I can’t imagine what she thought was wrong with them. Weird.

My OH is a bit weird about food like this. Son has made us tortillas, enchiladas etc. which I scoffed. Afterwards OH said he didn't enjoy it and wouldn't eat it again.

I agree... I think the cousin's fastidiousness about UPFs and the mum saying she's embarrassed are two completely different things. The cousin is being a bit controlling. The mum is just backwards.

Sounds like she has a touch of the Mrs Bucket about her, concerned with keeping up appearances and worrying about what the neighbours/family will think.

Some strange people just don't like eating messy foods.

I'm like that. I can manage pizza but much to DH's amusement I use a knife and fork for ribs and I've been known to cut up a burger rather than picking it up. However I have no issue with other people eating them normally and certainly wouldn't think you'd brought shame on anyone!

You did nothing wrong, and the food sounds lovely - and healthy. Your MIL is an idiot. I do think the cousin was a bit ridiculous however, anyone who can't let their kids have a bit of "fun" food now and again has issues.

I would be telling MIL that you ran the menu past the cousin, who said it was fine, but if she didn't enjoy it then that's okay as you won't be hosting her, or her sister again. That would then be the last contact I had with her until an apology was forthcoming. She's a bitch.

Sounds like both my parents and dh parents - fajitas are the work of the devil and not proper good.
I love them and we have them every week (made from a box brand)

Good=food

That meal sounds incredible. Your MIL is a lighting bitch.

Did he say why, @justasking111?

I"m glad your partner is supporting you. She's ignorant and has embarrassed herself.

In your partner's shoes, i would message her to say that SHE is the one who has embarrassed herself and that most of the world has moved on from meat and two veg, and would view homemade tortillas and fresh ingredients as a perfect family crowd pleaser.

What. A. Twat.

I was expecting a more exciting embarrassing thing you had done! But this is insane. What a prat. My parents and their friends are all 75 plus and would love your meal. Who are these “meat and two veg” weirdos - are they from the 1970s?

That's not junk food. It sounded delicious. Thankfully your partner has your back as well.

IMO his mum has embarrassed herself with her silly outrage.

She was expecting a roast chicken type dinner. She just hit out at you because she was shocked. That’s not on and I hope she apologises.

At least your husband is nice, so that’s good.

@Christmasisonitsway ah it's so reassuring that there are other folks out there like mine! Either that or you're my cousin or brother 😜

Wow. It all sounds delicious!

My thought too.

I imagined that her she likes to impress her sister. Is it possible that something retro like prawn cocktail and Marie Rose sauce followed by a lamb shank and piped ‘Duchess’ mash would have done the trick? And definitely cutlery!

I hope she’s not vocal about what she seems to be ‘junk’ (homemade tortilla wraps?!) in front of impressionable grandchildren. Is it her daughter who didn’t want her kids to have UPF as a rare treat at someone’s dinner party? Sorry if this was made clear. I am all for that at home but, if I’m being honest, I did immediately think it a little much to take food to a host’s home, unless it’s an adult meal children wouldn’t be interested in or they’re toddlers and it contains a lot of salt, before I even read the entire post. But that’s just my opinion: everything in moderation.

Her reaction was absurd and she sounds insufferable. It’s probably a blessing in disguise if you now have to spend less time in her company, especially if it involves food as many social events do.

No perhaps the faff of it. Son worked hard making different ingredients and setting them out in dishes for self assembly. He's a big fish/meat and vegetables guy but enjoys curries, stews. Risottos. He's also a very good cook his pastries and cakes are better than mine. As are most foods he makes. He's not a salad fan, so perhaps that's it.