To think society hates children?

[Orangeandgold]

During a crisis people tend to defend children and babies, but on a day to day basis when everything is “normal” I usually find and feel so much hatred towards children.

My DD picked this up quite young too. It is small subtle everyday conversations and actions.

I would have to remind an adult not to barge past a 5 year old when there is enough space on the pavement; or people that feel that they can comment or roll their eyes at you and be malicious because you have a buggy; or general comments in conversations about “all kids are brats/ those children/why would anyone have them.”; animals are so much more loving than children …

… and the comments go on!

If you don’t want children you don’t have to have them, but we were all kids once. AIBU to feel that society in general hates children and to get upset about it every now and then? Or am I just in a pessimistic bubble? Maybe it’s also the city, people have less tolerance? I just feel nobody really looks out for each other the way we would growing up - I would have neighbours on the look out as a child but now it’s different.

Not something I have experienced no, never seen hatred to a 5 year old.

I actually feel the total opposite!

I don't agree; society doesn't like disruptive noisy children so maybe that's your issue

I have never experienced this at all.

I think there’s a disconnect between the ‘children are hugely important’, ‘parenthood is the whole point of my life’, and the othering of childfree women point of view and the fact that British society isn’t in general terribly tolerant of children in shared or public spaces.

Nope, nor me. I have a 3yo and a baby, so have spent lots of time recently pushing a buggy and have never had anyone be malicious!

I think society is intolerant of poorly behaved kids, but as a society we are very caring to them, hatred of a 5 year old is beyond me and not something I’ve ever witnessed or heard about other than the child abusers

I do not like feral, spiteful, rude children. I utterly despise their feckless, entitled parents.

I have my own DC, older now. I think many parents now expect everyone to adore little Jemima and bend over backwards for their feral offspring, seems to be very little manners or discipline.
I cannot abide the ones allowed to wander about cafe/restaurants or have tablets full volume, never mind the aisle blocking in supermarkets whilst mummy consults 14 month old on what to buy.

I do not like feral, spiteful, rude children. I utterly despise their feckless, entitled parents.

I don't think society does. I dislike them myself, as a group, (although I have met some lovely older ones)but I don't think I'm the norm. (And happily I've never really had to have much contact with children so it hasn't been an issue). But it always feels to me as though most people think children are way more important than adults.

This OP.

Look at French society - children included but that's because they're brought up to be well behaved.

No, not to that extent. Obviously some people don't like kids at all but I don't think it's everyone. People don't like very noisy or disruptive kids and I think have a lower tolerance for that, but I can't really blame them.

I genuinely believe that society does not hate children.

Society hates parents that think that society should love their children as much as they do and enable and allow their children to do whatever they want regardless of the impact it has on others around them.

It’s not a children problem - it’s a parenting problem.

I haven't found this to be honest, the main thing for me was accessibility- no room on pavements for pushchair to pass through, not enough toilet cubicles big enough etc; but this is part of a much bigger issue of accessibility generally. For most it's a fleeting few years whereas for people who have disabilities this kind of crap lasts a lifetime. Anyway, I find invariably the opposite nowadays, some parents expect the world to bend and break to accommodate their children.

Never experienced this for either of my dc.
What I have experienced is fellow parents and some dx expecting other people to part like waves in front of them or fawningly smile at their behaviour.
Looking at you mum in morrisons supermarket cafe who smiled adoringly and proudly at her dc who came and tried to take my child's crayons off them while they drawing, and had a tantrum when i said 'no'. "ooo she's such a firecracker, hee hee".

British society isn’t in general terribly tolerant of children in shared or public spaces

it isn't tolerant of badly behaved children, no. For example, I am intolerant of kids who scoot around shopping centres.

Quiet well behaved children, who don't run around getting in everyone's way, yes.

People don't have consideration for SEN, but that applies to all disabilities for all ages.

"gentle"parenting, not telling children off, instilling good manners, children flying round in restaurants,cafes, bashing into you. This would be the reason. I don't dislike children, got 4, grandkids stay most weeks although they only live 10 minutes away (think they get a bit spoiled)

As a mother of 2 small children, I don't agree at all.

I think it massively depends on where you are, and that you may well encounter more of it in certain places (you mention a city) where children are less frequently encountered - and, no, I don't think it's all about 'badly behaved' children. I remember being shocked at how hostile people were when I got on the tube with a newborn - especially because I'd actually found that people were really thoughtful when I was pregnant.

One conflict that I do notice quite often is that the very elderly and toddlers are often not a natural fit to share spaces, but often have to because they're the main customer demographic in a lot of spaces on weekday daytimes. I have definitely experienced 'anticipatory resentment' of my toddler's presence before he actually has the chance to do anything 'wrong'.

Conversely, I quite often get compliments on my children, often with an implied comparison to the many 'other children' who don't behave so well. For example, I often get random strangers telling me how great it is that we don't use screens at mealtimes, which is well-intentioned but is often passive-aggressively pointed towards others.

I'd also note that there is a very loud online rhetoric about how awful children are/ how stupid parents are that is really jarring when you first encounter it, but I've never seen much of that extend into actual real life.

I think hate is too strong, but in a hierarchy of needs, old people seem to be at the top, young people at the bottom (I'm old before anyone starts). I wonder if parents of under 18s got an additional vote for each child that might make a difference?

See I wouldn't accept this sort of behaviour from either of my children. They wouldn't have even reached your table. I don't understand why parents don't stop their little darlings approaching strangers!

I think what is generally disliked is the parents who think everyone’s world should revolve around their children!

They’re like mice. One is cute, two or three is amusing but en masse they make me shudder 🤣

If you think society is intolerant to your 5 year old, wait until they hit their teens! I'm astonished on the daily by the way people prickle at them, either by watching my own teen out and about or seeing how people's body language changes when they encounter them on the bus or in the street.

Disclaimer: Scottish children all get a free bus pass now so I except people looking askance as a whole flipping school gets on a bus to go two stops, making everyone else half an hour late.

That said, if you were the mum of the small DCs in Caravan in Convent Garden last week who let them run straight in and start pelting round a round table at top speed, then you need to put your little darlings on reins before one of them gets a life-changing burn. Neither I or the waitress (who was carrying a coffee and a pot of boiling hot tea) were particularly impressed. Snark I know, but when children behave like that society is entitled to give them a sharp look.