To think society hates children?

[Orangeandgold]

During a crisis people tend to defend children and babies, but on a day to day basis when everything is “normal” I usually find and feel so much hatred towards children.

My DD picked this up quite young too. It is small subtle everyday conversations and actions.

I would have to remind an adult not to barge past a 5 year old when there is enough space on the pavement; or people that feel that they can comment or roll their eyes at you and be malicious because you have a buggy; or general comments in conversations about “all kids are brats/ those children/why would anyone have them.”; animals are so much more loving than children …

… and the comments go on!

If you don’t want children you don’t have to have them, but we were all kids once. AIBU to feel that society in general hates children and to get upset about it every now and then? Or am I just in a pessimistic bubble? Maybe it’s also the city, people have less tolerance? I just feel nobody really looks out for each other the way we would growing up - I would have neighbours on the look out as a child but now it’s different.

There was a poster on here a little while ago who was adamant that if you didn't have children you shouldn't be entitled to a state pension

It wasn't just offensive to childfree/childless people either. It was emphasise on if you hadn't "successfully" raised a child to adulthood. So if you had a child and that child died then you would be punished by losing your entitlement to a state pension.

And you’d be punished if you had a child that was never going to live as an independent adult. How absolutely vile.

I got the impression that the only measure of success was that the child was alive. So according to her admittedly horrific logic, the adult child wouldn’t need to be independent to count.

I can honestly say I don't do any of those things, other than maybe the getting in the way, but I tend to be aware of my surroundings, and move quickly. If someone is behind me, I don't parallel park, I find somewhere else. And who gets to see a GP these days to waste their time?

My ds has knocked over drinks when he was young, though

Sure. Honestly, I suspect you’re just a bit deluded, but whatever you say (people who drive round and round looking for the perfect moment to park rather than just getting on with it are also a massive nuisance - polluting the air and making noise unnecessarily).

The truth is that all of us are a minor nuisance to others, by existing, but we also reap benefits from being part of a society so we tolerate the minor irritations of sharing space with other humans. But some people seem to find it much harder to tolerate minor irritation when children cause it. I don’t know why. I think it’s partly an extension of misogyny for their mothers, partly the entitlement of age, partly bitterness.

I completely agree with you . In my mind children mine and others are to be cherished, protected and above all at the top of the “social hierarchy “ when it comes to importance . The U.K. certainly has a issue with “ adultism “ as you so rightly say

I would literally say the exact opposite. I have so many more conversations with strangers, have people offer to help etc when I’m with my children. Someone in the swimming pool changing room today offered to hold the baby whilst I got my shoes on, for example- this kind of thing happens a lot to me, so I would say in my experience people in general like children and want to interact with them!

‘Hate’ in the title is a strong word and for sure there are many people in the UK that are tolerant of children and even actually like them! But as this thread shows there is a huge amount of adultism still about particularly i would say in the older generations who were actually expected to ‘be seen and not heard’. I’ve experienced it even in my own family.

Ive also had my fair share of old ladies coming up to me when the DC are all cute sat quietly in their buggies or sat at a table in a restaurant quietly colouring saying ‘oh how lovely’ or ‘what well behaved children you have’ etc etc and whilst this is nice is one way it always makes me wary of that person and makes me wonder how that kind of person would react if they’re screaming and crying all emotional. Likely they’d be tutting and rolling their eyes to the sky.

I believe children ‘misbehaving’ often triggers a reaction in a lot of adults that is less to do with the child and more to do with the adult…

I still get looks from people because they cannot comprehend how a young person can be seen walking alongside an adult outside of school and home

do you home educate? It's not surprising that people wonder why a child of school age isn't in school but home education is becoming increasingly common.

Couldn't agree more!

I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. Every time I go to town with my kids I feel like I develop a little cancer. Many people look at you like you are a problem. There is no understanding that kids do not behave like little adults. I think people are so unused to having children around that in general our society has become intolerant.