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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

529 replies

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:29

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

OP posts:
IhaveanewTVnow · 14/11/2023 08:10

How old are you OP. This sounds like a really dull relationship. You do know that you can leave him. Are you happy?

Milkybarsareonmeeeee · 14/11/2023 08:11

Shoxfordian · 14/11/2023 07:51

@Ballsbaill I didn't say anything about not going to the loo, or getting some water- I said making tea is noisy which it is even in another room - it's about showing basic consideration for your partner

What consideration is he showing.
Telling OP of for getting up and she’s allowed a drink .
He’s a lazy selfish twat.

ichundich · 14/11/2023 08:11

That would drive me insane tbh. I don't think you're compatible, sorry. Maybe time to re-evaluate your relationship and call it a day.

Maddy70 · 14/11/2023 08:12

I would go nuts if I was woken up at 7 on holiday

Can you go for breakfast / coffee and leave him to sleep?

Pizzalover46 · 14/11/2023 08:12

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:55

Maybe tomorrow il wake up later
Think I was a bit excited for the first proper day
Haven't had a holiday abroad since last year so was like a kid at Christmas.

No no no! You wake up when you like! You are well within your rights to make a cuppa in another room whilst your partner stays in bed. In bed early watching TV on holiday, not leaving the house all weekend - he sounds like a boring sod.

MariaVT65 · 14/11/2023 08:13

I’m with you op. He’s being a bit childish. 8 hours of sleep is fine, but also if he wants more, you’re allowed to get up and MAKE A DRINK if you want to! No reason he can’t go back to sleep.

CurlewKate · 14/11/2023 08:13

@crumblingschools "If you had such an early evening meal why didn’t you unpack after that?"

You have really no idea what they might have been doing.....🤣

Ragruggers · 14/11/2023 08:14

Why are you with him? This is how your life will be for ever.How old are you both?Next time if there is one go on holiday with a friend and forget him.Good luck.Tomorrow get up go out find a cafe and have breakfast and explore the area,have a swim ,go to the gym.Enjoy and have a good think about your life.

Mookie81 · 14/11/2023 08:14

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:50

At home on the weekend he doesn't get up at all
He's home from Friday night and doesn't leave the house till Monday morning
Been together 4 years and live together

Why are you still with this bellend?
Why can't people read the updates about watching Masterchef and not leaving bed for 3 days straight?!

Viviennemary · 14/11/2023 08:15

7am is a ridiculous time to get up on holiday. But going to bed at 8 pm is just as bad. No point in being together. You're not suited

ChocolateCinderToffee · 14/11/2023 08:15

I’d be very pissed off if someone woke me at 7am on holiday. You need to organise stuff the night before so you don’t wake him up, just get up and get dressed and go out for a couple of hours.

FrenchandSaunders · 14/11/2023 08:15

DH used to be a bit like this. I used to take loads of books and just chill by the pool until he appeared late morning.

Then he discovered he had an under active thyroid and started taking tablets …. what a transformation! Up and dressed before me.

He was never like that in the evenings though, I couldn’t stand an early dinner then tv in bed! Might as well stay at home.

PennyProud · 14/11/2023 08:16

If he plans to sleep the whole holiday, I'd start going to breakfast without him. You both seem to like different things but I'd want to enjoy my holiday and I love a good breakfast

BrimfulOfMash · 14/11/2023 08:16

Well, now you have explained his home life / weekends, and previous behaviour on holiday, I understand your frustration!

But he’s so bad I don’t know how you can live with him like that!

OP: he isn’t going to change because you splashed out on a lovely suite. In fact a lovely suite is designed to facilitate his ‘stay in’ mentality.

Cut your losses: book on to some group activities and fantastic outings, have your clothes and things ready each evening in the living area or bathroom, get up and out for a morning coffee every day. Get chatting with some people. Somewhere there will be a woman on holiday in her own, smile , chat, meet for a cocktail overlooking the sea at night. Etc. (I have been on hol on my own and always strike up a chatting friendship or two)

I know you are fed up with feeling alone on holidays with him… but that’s the reality. That’s what he’s like!

Nevermind91 · 14/11/2023 08:16

You went all that way and spent all that money and yet you have to tiptoe around in case you wake him up before nearly lunchtime?
Get up, make a cup of tea, get dressed and go for a swim or a walk, go to the shops, ANYTHING. Don't waste a good chunk of each day trying to be quiet in case you wake him up before he's ready to get drunk again.
Should you wake him up while getting ready to enjoy your holiday- he's a big boy and will probably get back to sleep without the need for rocking...

Itsagreatdaytosavelives · 14/11/2023 08:16

why are you with him? fast forward 10 years. is this the life you want?

crumblingschools · 14/11/2023 08:16

@CurlewKate if you read the OP’s posts they were watching master chef! Unless that is a euphemism

12345onceIcaughta · 14/11/2023 08:16

I can’t get over the fact he goes to bed at 7pm!!!!
that is not normal, he sounds like a sloth.
you should be able to get up and make a cup of tea.
I would leave him and find someone you are compatible with.

RampantIvy · 14/11/2023 08:19

Last holiday he didn't get up till nearly 11 then got drunk and was in bed for 5pm and no dinner

I wouldn't have gone on holiday with him again after that.

I don't understand why so many posters are getting their knickers on a twist about 7 am being too early, especially if they went to sleep at 10 pm. I would be wide awake after a nine hour sleep. It is 7 am not 5 am.

The OP was quiet. For the rest of the holiday I would leave my case in the other room, get dressed and go down to breakfast on my own.

If he is sleeping so much could he have a health reason for it - CFS or undiagnosed diabetes?

AgnesX · 14/11/2023 08:19

He's being unreasonable expecting you to go back to bed if he's just going to sleep but the first couple of days away are usually about beginning to unwind and start to relax, so you're a bit unreasonable to expect him to bounce out of bed on the first morning.

WaltzingWaters · 14/11/2023 08:19

WaltzingWaters · 14/11/2023 08:07

I mean you’re both a bit unreasonable here. 7am is early to wake on holiday if you don’t have kids/have nothing planned etc. let him sleep. But yes, you should be able to get up and make a cup of tea, go to a different area and read or whatever without him being annoyed (as long as you did so as quietly as possible).

To add having just read your updates, it sounds like he’s just rather lazy and boring and you’re not compatible. Is he always like that at home also? It’ll be a nightmare if you have kids, you’ll be left doing it all no doubt.
And why spend so much money going on holiday to stay in bed watching masterchef. I love lazy days on holiday but by the pool or on the beach. Things you can’t do at home.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 14/11/2023 08:20

this would drive me crazy. Sleeps all weekend? He was never going to be different on holiday. He’s a lazy arse. I would be rethinking our future together as that wouldn’t be for me.

SweetFemaleAttitude · 14/11/2023 08:20

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:39

@RedCoatSearch he likes to go for dInner at 6.30pm,have a drink then goes to bed and watches tele
Last night we spent the night watching master chef

Why the pissing hell did he agree to go on holiday?????

I couldn't be doing with this boring fecker.

I can understand him wanting a lie in, but getting up at 10, going to bed at half 6 to watch the telly. Wtf!!

If I were you, I'd make some friends and hang out with them for the rest of the holiday.

And I'd never book a holiday again with this boring bastard.

whogivesacarrot · 14/11/2023 08:20

YABU to think he’s going to change

id Be thinking about what I wanted for my future because this sounds so awful

gotomomo · 14/11/2023 08:21

7 is far too early unless on an excursion. 8.30 fair enough so you don't miss breakfast (assuming included)

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