Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

[ifitfeelslikeparadise]

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

I don't understand why people stay in relationships where they don't actually like spending time the same way: you're obviously totally incompatible!

Geez, you spent £3k on a room for him to do this??? Is he always this boring, you must have known this about him surely.

He isn't going to change. So I would leave him in the room and go off and do your own thing or go on holidays with friends. If you want a relationship you can enjoy holidays with, he isn't your man.

I think his reaction and expecting you to be so quiet is ridiculous, however how loud were you to wake him up by reaching over to get a drink? Bed by 8 for adults is bizarre. It sounds like a very boring holiday but I hope for your sake that it isn't. Please do not sit there "waiting" on him waking up. Get your swimsuit, go to the pool, take a book, get breakfast. He does not get to set the rules.

What do you get out of this relationship, OP?

Waking someone up at 7 am really isn’t on. Getting out of bed yourself and quietly going into another room is of course fine, but you need to be considerate re the noise you make.

The point of a holiday is to relax, as well as seeing something of the place. I really wouldn’t take kindly to being woken before 10 ish on a child free holiday. Plenty of time to see the sites and then also experience the place in the evening.

Why are you going to bed so early?

Wow, he spends all weekend not leaving the house and is in bed by 8pm??? That really doesn't sound right. Holiday aside, can you really live your life like that? I know I couldn't.

Are you considering kids? You'd be better off being a single parent than with this guy. Kids are exhausting and definitely don't mix with sleeping all day

Yanbu. But like others I can't get the logic behind being willing to give up my first evening on holiday (unless you were getting a proper seeing to- even then I'd have that done either before we go out for the evening or at the end of a proper evening having flirted and laughed all night) but on the other hand not willing to waste your first morning in bed? If it were put to a vote which ridiculous thing to change? I'd rather waste three hours in bed in the morning than waste those hours in bed watching tv on the first (or any!) evening. Why didn't you go out? Go dancing? Stroll along the beach? Walk around the old town? Catch a show? It's far more unreasonable in my eyes to have lay around last night than to sleep past 7 in the morning.

I think you should enjoy your holiday as much as you can, but when you get home have a really good think about whether you are compatible.

I’m sorry but it’s really stretching all points to say 7 am isn’t early. Of course 7 am is early. It’s the beginning of not being “the early hours” / still part of the night as anything before 7 would be, but it’s still very early. It’s an average / normal time for an alarm to go off for work. But it’s still very early. Especially on holiday.

….. watching MasterChef!

We're the same. I think eight is the latest we ever sleep in even pre-child as we're explorers. We've always had dinner around 7-8pm though as I'd be really hungry otherwise but now that also makes sense as we have a toddler (and on next year's holiday a three month old! 😅) I do miss our pre-child evenings spent in jazz or cocktail bars so we always make sure we book somewhere with outside space and buy drinks from the supermarket so we can still have a nice evening relaxing after toddler is in bed :)

@ifitfeelslikeparadise I'm really not sure why you're with this person. It sounds like you're quite incompatible.

At home on the weekend he doesn't get up at all
He's home from Friday night and doesn't leave the house till Monday morning

Don't have kids with him...

Bloody hell OP he sounds boring and lazy af. His idea of a treat is to do nothing?

You don't say how old you are and whetether marriage and children might be in your future, but imagine trying to parent toddlers with this sack of nothingness 😬😬😬

7am is not early if you were in bed by 8pm and asleep by 10pm the previous night. What a shit holiday, in bed watching masterchef then asleep half the day. Could've stayed at home.

You spent £3k to go on holiday to watch Masterchef and go to bed at 8?
What are you 80 years old? (Apologies to any 80yo's out there)

What a waste of money
Do you have other compatibility issues?

My husband is an early riser on holiday whereas I like to sleep in. Pre-children he would get up, make a cup of tea, get dressed then go down to breakfast and I’d get up when he came back from breakfast…he’d inevitably wake me up making tea, etc but I’d just go back to sleep once he’d gone, maybe I’d occasionally get annoyed that he’d woke me but it wouldn’t turn into an argument.

Now we have children we tend to get a room with a separate bedroom area, he gets up with whichever child wakes first and if I’m lucky I might get an extra half an hour before the second child wakes up then we all go down for breakfast. Maybe when the kids are older and a bit more self sufficient he’ll take them both to breakfast alone and I might get my lie in again but they’re still very young at the moment.

It doesn’t sound like the most enjoyable holiday if I’m honest if you’re stuck in the room until he gets up at 11am then you’re going to bed at 8:30 straight after dinner…and you’ve spent £3k to basically spend 9.5hours out of your room?! I might like to sleep late but pre-children we’d stay up have a few drinks, watch the evening entertainment or go for a walk….even with small children we’re rarely in our room before 9pm.

I’d consider whether you’re compatible in terms of this being your holidays for the rest of your life and do you want to spend every weekend alone whilst he festers in bed…do you plan children in the future? Is he likely to change or will you be expected to look after any future children alone every weekend and be expected to keep them quiet in a morning on holiday?

YANBU, that’s plenty of sleep! However it sounds like you need to sit down and work out a compromise. If he agrees to go to bed later then maybe you could stay in bed a bit later in the morning. I agree with others that going to bed early to watch tv sounds very boring when you’re on holiday.

Neither of you are in the wrong. I think that 7am is too early for holidays but I also think it’s fine to sit quietly on your phone. You’re both making a mountain out of a mole hill.

My Mum is 80 yrs old and she goes to bed at 10,30pm and definitely wouldn't stay in watching Masterchef if she was on holiday!

I couldn't be with someone that lazy.

From what I'm reading this isn't just about the holiday. He likes his bed too much even at home.
Not my idea of a relationship for that alone.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing - but 7am is not early when they went to sleep at 10pm! That’s a 9 hour stretch!!

Are you happy having such a boring holiday? Do you plan to eat later and enjoy the night life or is it just want he wants to do?

Maybe enjoy the holiday as best you can - and get up whatever time you want, he can't expect to control how long you sleep for.
But then have a serious think about your long term compatibility.
I say that as I'm married to someone who would happily sleep their holiday away, would stay in bed all weekend if he could. With kids, it's become infuriating. He's occasionally a little more motivated, but it's a battle.
We're in counselling, and one of the things I'm saying is that I'm not expecting him to change but I am worried about if we will last long term. I don't want to waste my life doing nothing.

😂Since last year? Oh no!