Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

[ifitfeelslikeparadise]

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

You seem to already know how he is so not sure why you think anything would change on this holiday. You cannot try to keep changing him. If he spends his time sleeping and doing nothing that doesn't mean you cannot do things by yourself.

Maybe tomorrow il wake up later
Think I was a bit excited for the first proper day
Haven't had a holiday abroad since last year so was like a kid at Christmas.

He's not lazy. But he is prioritising his needs over yours to a ridiculous extent.
What will life be like if you have kids with this man? Would you want your children to be terrorised like you are - Sat unable to move?
It's time to get up and go. From your chair and from this unsuitable relationship.

You two are not compatible.

You need to consider leaving him.

Yeah this

There is far more going on here than whether it's ok to get up on holiday at 7am.

Does he have a sleep disorder? How in earth could two adults be asleep at 7pm in a hotel the night before a holiday and sleep for twelve hours?!! And the next day be tired enough to go to bed at 8.30?

It sounds like he is calling all the shots and making all the decisions. He sounds incredibly boring, both home and away, and you're clearly not compatible

Last holiday he didn't get up till nearly 11 then got drunk and was in bed for 5pm and no dinner

Did you post about this last time?

It feels weirdly familiar as does your posting style.

What are your plans for the holiday?

I bet if you woke him with a little grown up “surprise” tomorrow he wouldn’t be complaining. You’re on holiday, live a little, it sounds like such a drudgery and a chore.

I would have been pissed off being woken up too!

It's normal for people to have mismatched body clocks.

Expecting someone to sit still and silent in bed so you can complete a lengthy sleep is unreasonable. OP wasn't deliberately waking him and doing intrusive things, she was doing normal, quiet morning things and trying to use other spaces.

His attitude to a slight disturbance is certainly an amber flag. I'm not sure that I'd want to risk years on the chance that he'll mature and cope with normal life stuff disturbing his precious sleep if this is his usual behaviour and attitude.

Dinner at 6:30 and loitering in the bedroom from 8 sounds like very tedious way to spend a holiday that you've spent thousands on, especially at the couple stage when you're not compelled to compromise around overtired toddlers.

I'm a night owl and my dh is an early bird (both quite extreme). It was difficult at the start of the relationship to get a happy medium. He now asks me what time I'd like to get up and will make sure clothes etc are in a different room, so when he gets up he goes straight out the bedroom and never has to go back in. He'll take himself off somewhere, go for a walk, bit of site seeing, read etc until I get up. I'll do similar in the evening so not to wake him. I'll often arrange something to do in the evenings so I'm not just sat around twiddling my thumbs.

Can you make sure you have everything out of the bedroom, so when you wake you leave and can get showered dressed etc and go and do something whilst he sleeps.

Some people need more sleep than others so your 8 hours is enough for you, but maybe he wants/needs more. Neither of you are wrong

7am is too early to be woken up. Especially as you know he likes his lie ins.
Sounds like you should go off and do your own thing in the mornings and then spend the afternoons together. You want different things out of this holiday so you’ll both end up miserable if you spend the entire time together.
But do you actually like him? Like why are you together?

You seem to be fundamentally mismatched.

Although I have to say that watching masterchef in bed and going to sleep that early on holiday would drive me batshit.

Oh OP - now you’ve given the context of what he’s like at home I am 100% on your side.

I had assumed he got minimal sleep at home (4-5hours a night) like I do and so chills on holiday!

TBH he sounds like a bit of a lazy nob. This won’t get better as he ages either…

Get up when you want and as long as you’re as quiet as you can be to wake him up it’s fine. TBH I’d go live your day if I were you!

Yes, this isn’t going to work long term for you. He needs to be with someone else who likes to lie in bed all day.

What a waste of time and money. Each to their own, I suppose, but why pay to go away to lie in bed and watch master chef?

It's a shame you're on holiday and both unhappy. Different sleep patterns isn't the end of the world, it's never been an issue for one of us to get up and potter until the other wakens. I'd be really pissed off though in the scenario you just explained of him rising quite late and then getting drunk by early evening. Have you agreed on any plans for this holiday? Do you think that you're compatible?

I mean you’re both a bit unreasonable here. 7am is early to wake on holiday if you don’t have kids/have nothing planned etc. let him sleep. But yes, you should be able to get up and make a cup of tea, go to a different area and read or whatever without him being annoyed (as long as you did so as quietly as possible).

Last holiday he didn't get up till nearly 11 then got drunk and was in bed for 5pm and no dinner

There's no way I'd be spending my hard earned cash to go on holiday with someone who did that.

Reading your posts though it sounds like this is the way he is so I'm not sure why you expected anything different

I went on holiday with an EX it was clear we
were very different . He would have dinner and back to the room. Spanish tv 🙈
I like my sleep too but I think he has had a lot of sleep over last few days , you are all sleeper out and ready for the holiday .
I don’t think you did anything wrong the comments here are shocking.
You are a grown women and don’t have to stay in bed until told you are allowed to get up.( red flag)

The way he spoke to you was dis respectful , (red flag)
Seems this holiday is going to be all
about him. ( red flag )
Go get your suitcase and head out to the beach.
My ex and I came back from our holiday with the relationship over .
Maybe think about your relationship you will have plenty time while he’s sleeping.

7am is very early but if you were sleeping at 10pm(!!!!) it’s a different story.

It sounds like you both want different things from your holidays/life though. I’m surprised you have managed to make it to 4 years tbh.

It's a suite. Get up when you want to, OP. Go out-find a cafe-have breakfast-go for a walk. Don't let him police what you do.

I think I would rather be single.

If you had such an early evening meal why didn’t you unpack after that?