Page 20 | Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 2023-11-14T07:29:21+00:00

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday. Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite. The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm Got up the next morning at 7am We got here yesterday afternoon We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough. 7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up. Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea. He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea Anyway turned into a argument Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed. He's so lazy Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed. He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed? He says it's his holiday too -which it is But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ? I crept out

Rainbow1901 · 17/11/2023 08:50

We were in Tenerife a few weeks ago and the weather was scorching then - which is unusual for October according to the locals. Enjoy your holiday in whatever way you can - while you can't help your boyfriends illness - you needn't let it spoil your holiday.
But I don't know that I would pay anymore off your next holiday unless you can transfer it or meet the Ts and Cs to get some of your money back. The signs don't look promising for your relationship going forward. But I wish you well and lots of sunshine!!

Yesyoucant · 17/11/2023 08:53

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 06:59

So it's just avoiding morning that you want to do? You've had 19 hours sleep but don't want to get up? How many hours can you actually sleep?

Show quote history

My holiday, my choice. Calm down, love.

TheBirdintheCave · 17/11/2023 09:05

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 07:35

Well he isn't very well today so no doubt he won't be up to much
Complaining of stomach pains
I think I would of went crazy this week if it wasn't for venting on here
Think I'm going to go into mogan today
I've been told it's lovely there
The hotel puts on a free coach so going to do that

We have Greece booked for September but that's self catering so if he doesn't get his act together -it will be a lot of meals for one for me

Self catering doesn't stop you from eating out surely? We don't cook when we rent an apartment (bar breakfast but that's just toast and cereal), we go out for lunch and dinner.

I definitely wouldn't be doing any cooking for this man.

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 09:09

@Yesyoucant another one unwilling to compromise? Be warned love, you may end up single if you're not already!

crumblingschools · 17/11/2023 09:11

What does he actually get from going on holiday? What discussions do you have when booking them?

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 09:12

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 07:36

I still have another 3 full days here and the weathers looking nice again
29/30 degrees
I just want to make the most of it
Next week me and some friends are going to Manchester for the Christmas markets
So will be wrapped up and freezing ha ha

Wrapped up is fine, you'll have a great time, at least you'll be with people with a bit of life in them.

WimbyAce · 17/11/2023 09:29

He sounds awful. I honestly couldn't be thinking ahead to another ordeal next September. Do you really want to continue with him?

Original poster

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 10:40

Can anyone tell me if I've done anything wrong here
We went down to the pool before going to mogan
He said he would come down even tho he's tired and in pain
So he says we will sit here ,it's totally in the shade the side he has picked
So I said shall we sit in the sun
So he starts -has to be on your terms
So face like thunder we sit here
1 hour we have sat here
Literally nobody else here as everyone is on the other side in the sun.
He hasn't spoke in a hour face like thunder
Sat with his long sleeve top on
Now he's just said we won't go to mogan today
We can go tomorrow -I picked this seat and clearly it's not good enough for you

What have I done wrong ?was I wrong to suggest a seat in the sun?

OP posts:

thenightsky · 17/11/2023 10:45

He's determined to have a miserable time and drag you down with him. I had an ex like this. I dumped him when we got home. Literally as soon as we got to the airport car park to go our separate ways in our own cars.

theleafandnotthetree · 17/11/2023 10:54

Fuck that shit. You do know you can break up with him right? I ended a marriage with 2 children, a shared house and very little money of my own so whatever barriers you think you have to breaking up, they are nothing compared to the misery of staying around this atmosphere and approach to life. I feel suffocated just reading about it. And I hate to say it but in my experience, men tend to become more, not less dull and entrenched the older they get so he is likely yo get worse, not change for the better.

crumblingschools · 17/11/2023 10:58

You have done nothing wrong.

If you want to sit in the sun, you sit in the sun and he can stay in the shade. If you want to go to Mogan, go to Mogan. I'm sure if you don't go today, he will have an excuse tomorrow so you can't go then.

Don't let him completely ruin this holiday, at least do the things you want to do

Rainbow1901 · 17/11/2023 11:05

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 10:40

Can anyone tell me if I've done anything wrong here
We went down to the pool before going to mogan
He said he would come down even tho he's tired and in pain
So he says we will sit here ,it's totally in the shade the side he has picked
So I said shall we sit in the sun
So he starts -has to be on your terms
So face like thunder we sit here
1 hour we have sat here
Literally nobody else here as everyone is on the other side in the sun.
He hasn't spoke in a hour face like thunder
Sat with his long sleeve top on
Now he's just said we won't go to mogan today
We can go tomorrow -I picked this seat and clearly it's not good enough for you

What have I done wrong ?was I wrong to suggest a seat in the sun?

You have done nothing wrong! If he wants to sit in the shade then let him - while you sunbathe. DH and I often do this but it doesn't mean that either one of us is wrong - we just have our own preferences.
Do your own thing - if you want to go to Mogan today -then go!! He can recover in the shade in his long sleeved top or in your suite if he prefers and you can do Mogan both today on your own and again tomorrow with him!!
Just because he is feeling poorly does not mean that you are unsympathetic but you are on holiday too and he seems to be looking for arguments because you won't pander to him.
Don't let him dictate that 'we' won't go to Mogan but do let him know that you will not let his illness or moods spoil your enjoyment. In fact tell him to go to the nearest medical centre and stop being a mardy miserable git and sort himself out so you can enjoy what remains of the holiday together!!
That is what holiday insurance is for - get sorted and get on with the holiday!! If you don't have insurance then what does a few euros matter if he gets to feel better?

Yesyoucant · 17/11/2023 11:06

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 09:09

@Yesyoucant another one unwilling to compromise? Be warned love, you may end up single if you're not already!

I'm not on holiday with the OP am I, and fortunately enough for me my partner likes a lie in even more than I do, so I'd still be up first anyway.
I'd end up single over wanting a long lie? my god, are you dramatic!!
This place, honestly!

Mothership4two · 17/11/2023 11:12

crumblingschools · 17/11/2023 10:58

You have done nothing wrong.

If you want to sit in the sun, you sit in the sun and he can stay in the shade. If you want to go to Mogan, go to Mogan. I'm sure if you don't go today, he will have an excuse tomorrow so you can't go then.

Don't let him completely ruin this holiday, at least do the things you want to do

^^ this. Just go and do things you enjoy on your holiday and don't let him spoil it for you by being a miserable git.

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 11:13

@Yesyoucant dramatic, others? Says the person who would be incandescent with rage over being woken up at 7! The hypocrisy in this place

cmaalofshit · 17/11/2023 11:17

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 09:09

@Yesyoucant another one unwilling to compromise? Be warned love, you may end up single if you're not already!

Ridiculous post.
As if ending up single is some kind of terrible thing.
News flash: it isn't.

cmaalofshit · 17/11/2023 11:23

Now he's just said we won't go to mogan today
Why does he get to dictate everything?
Just got to Mogan on your own.

We can go tomorrow -I picked this seat and clearly it's not good enough for you
He's being a knob for some reason. I'm wondering though if he's behaving like this in order to cause the situation to turn into an argument and he can justify ending the relationship. His behaviour is really odd.
I would be pissed off about being woken up at 7am on holiday which is how this all seemed to have started BUT I'd also be pissed off if I was with someone who wanted to be in bed watching Masterchef or BBC News when I'd paid quite a bit of money to fly abroad. I'm also someone who prefers to lie in the shade but he could have said something nicely like "I need to lie in the shade because I have very fair skin/because it's a bit too hot for me in the sun - but you go over in the sun if you like and I'll come over and chat with you/meet up for a drink in an hour or so and then we'll go to Mogan"

Personally I think he's trying to cause a row and subsequent break-up.
And even if he isn't you might want to think if you want to spend the rest of your life living like this.
Do not go on the next holiday with him. If you end up losing money because of it I think you should just suck it up to be honest and see it as paying to avoid the hell of another holiday with him. Or look into how you can cancel and whether you can get money back etc.

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 11:28

@cmaalofshit it is for some!

nibblessquibbles · 17/11/2023 11:29

It sounds like he is miserable and you guys are not aligned.
He is not BU to sit in the shade. I don't like sitting in full sub, that's my preference. But he is also BU in being so mardy about it. He could have a parasol so you can sit in the sun and he inn the shade.
There's def something deeper here!

jannier · 17/11/2023 11:33

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 10:40

Can anyone tell me if I've done anything wrong here
We went down to the pool before going to mogan
He said he would come down even tho he's tired and in pain
So he says we will sit here ,it's totally in the shade the side he has picked
So I said shall we sit in the sun
So he starts -has to be on your terms
So face like thunder we sit here
1 hour we have sat here
Literally nobody else here as everyone is on the other side in the sun.
He hasn't spoke in a hour face like thunder
Sat with his long sleeve top on
Now he's just said we won't go to mogan today
We can go tomorrow -I picked this seat and clearly it's not good enough for you

What have I done wrong ?was I wrong to suggest a seat in the sun?

You've done nothing wrong he is controlling and likes making you think something will happen then letting you down he's nasty

Mercurial123 · 17/11/2023 11:40

The only thing you've done wrong is go on holiday with this idiot. Just plan your day without him it'll be more fun.

CleaningAngel · 17/11/2023 11:42

Just get up when you wake up, go down for breakfast and pool and just leave him too it.
He may want to sleep and relax that's fine, but he could stay in bed at home for a week!! He should be getting fresh air, he can doze on a sunbed that's what I do!!

Mercurial123 · 17/11/2023 11:46

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 07:57

@cheezncrackers my friend said it's like a little Venice so I'm hoping it lives up to expectations
Well we have already started paying money off the next holiday so unless something major happens I doubt he would not want to come

Sorry, but if you're willing to go on holiday with him again you can't really complain if the next holiday is as bad as this one.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 17/11/2023 11:52

Just go on your own. You're not joined at the hip. If he doesn't like it then tough.

Catza · 17/11/2023 11:57

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 10:40

Can anyone tell me if I've done anything wrong here
We went down to the pool before going to mogan
He said he would come down even tho he's tired and in pain
So he says we will sit here ,it's totally in the shade the side he has picked
So I said shall we sit in the sun
So he starts -has to be on your terms
So face like thunder we sit here
1 hour we have sat here
Literally nobody else here as everyone is on the other side in the sun.
He hasn't spoke in a hour face like thunder
Sat with his long sleeve top on
Now he's just said we won't go to mogan today
We can go tomorrow -I picked this seat and clearly it's not good enough for you

What have I done wrong ?was I wrong to suggest a seat in the sun?

Why do you feel like you should do what he does and sit where he sits, though? Consequently, I took my ex on holiday to Canaries a few years ago (I have a flat there so accommodation was provided by me) and we had a massive spat over being there - he is a pretentious twat so kept making comments about the quality of local entertainment, lack of upper-middle-class holiday-makers, the fact that he didn't like the beach, or sun... Well, I ended up buying him a ticket to fly back after three days and enjoyed the rest of my holiday and life without him.