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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Waking boyfriend up on holiday ,aibu?

529 replies

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 14/11/2023 07:29

We have saved all year for this holiday and got here yesterday.
Just to the Canary Islands but spent £3,000 for a nice suite.
The night before we came away we stayed in a nice hotel and he went to sleep at 7pm
Got up the next morning at 7am
We got here yesterday afternoon
We went to bed last night at 8pm and probably asleep for 10pm
I woke up this morning at 6am but couldn't get back to sleep as 8 hours was more than enough.
7am I got a drink from the beside cabinet and woke him up.
Apologised and after 5 mins I got up and went into living room to make a cup of tea.
He comes in moaning waking me up at 7am on holiday making tea
Anyway turned into a argument
Because I don't want to spend all holiday In bed.
He's so lazy
Honestly 8 -10 hours should be enough
Maybe I'm a little excited but I've planned this for ages now
I'm sat on balcony making no noise while he is still in bed.
He's told me I can't unpack my case till he gets up
Aibu to not want to spend all holiday in bed?
He says it's his holiday too -which it is
But surely me getting up and going in next room isn't really bad ?
I crept out

OP posts:
Hubblebubble · 16/11/2023 18:03

You're in the canary Islands! Where's the exploring? The swimming?

HPIEX · 16/11/2023 18:31

Bless you x I’ve been on holiday with this man, mine wanted to sleep all day when we got to freaking Hong Kong! It can’t possibly be too hot in the canaries right now unless you’re experiencing some freak weather. Life is more fun when you’re not fantasising about holding a pillow over a lazy grot’s face. If he can’t keep up with you now, imagine how feeble he will be in a decade and how frustrated you will be. Treat yourself to someone with a bit of enthusiasm!

Wendysfriend · 16/11/2023 18:34

God it's sounding worse each time you update.

Tbh what you need to do now is make the rest of the holiday enjoyable for yourself.

You can't be sitting in silence waiting for him to decide whether he's going to get up, stay up, go back to bed. You shouldn't be having to sit and have breakfast on your own when he's actually in the same building as you but won't get out of bed .

From now you need to treat this holiday as a holiday you're doing alone, plan out what you're doing day and night, write it down hand it to him and tell him this is what you're doing, if he wants to join you he can or he can stay in bed.

Organise fun things during the day for yourself, find a place with a nice restaurant, bar and go, enjoy some food and drinks and if there's music, you can have drinks in the reception area of any hotel if you don't want to sit in a full bar.

People go away alone all the time, you'll be surprised at how many you'll come across, you might meet someone that's up for a chat. I wouldn't worry about what people think, you'll never see them again.

Tbh I'd be seriously having a good think about this relationship, people's true ways come out while on holiday. This is not a fun, interesting life, he's boring, he'll drag you down, every holiday will be like this, every weekend at home will be like this.

LBFseBrom · 16/11/2023 18:50

I still think the man is depressed, op.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 16/11/2023 19:49

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 16/11/2023 09:33

Well last night back in room for half 8
This morning he came down to breakfast for me at 9 and now he's lying back on the bed watching bbc news because it's "too hot "
I can't be arsed honestly

I couldn't be with such a lazy bloke.

I'd go off an do the things you want and leave him snoozing.

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 16/11/2023 20:20

@HPIEX it was 32 degrees today so was hot but it was okay I thought
We have been lucky with the weather but he just wants to waste it

OP posts:
Lavenderblue11 · 16/11/2023 20:38

Maybe your DH has depression? One of the signs of depression is wanting to sleep/spending all the time possible in bed?

Yesyoucant · 16/11/2023 20:42

I would be incandescent if someone woke me up at 7am on holiday regardless of what time I'd gone to bed. However, I'd also likely be out enjoying some food, drinks etc until later in the evening.

Whiteday · 16/11/2023 20:53

Yesyoucant · 16/11/2023 20:42

I would be incandescent if someone woke me up at 7am on holiday regardless of what time I'd gone to bed. However, I'd also likely be out enjoying some food, drinks etc until later in the evening.

So if you'd had 10 hours sleep, you'd be incandescent with rage?

Why?

Is the day going to kill you if you're up at 7?

tenterden · 16/11/2023 21:15

Well if he spends all weekend in bed normally, I am not sure what you expected on this “holiday” OP? The writing was on the wall!

Is there something wrong with him?

HPIEX · 16/11/2023 21:18

Oh wow, that is a lot warmer than I thought it would be, apologies! That is too hot for many people. Still though in absence of major health problems, a partner taking to his bed all weekend every weekend is not great at all. Hope once he’s had chance to unwind a bit you can get on and have a nice holiday x

Yesyoucant · 16/11/2023 21:44

Because I'd want a lie in on holiday that's why.

Yesyoucant · 16/11/2023 21:45

Whiteday · 16/11/2023 20:53

So if you'd had 10 hours sleep, you'd be incandescent with rage?

Why?

Is the day going to kill you if you're up at 7?

Because I'd want a lie in. 7am is not a lie in....

WGACA · 16/11/2023 21:45

WimbyAce · 14/11/2023 12:57

I thought this too 😆

Me three!

ReadingSoManyThreads · 16/11/2023 21:49

WGACA · 16/11/2023 21:45

Me three!

Me four lol Our last holiday outside of the UK was about 6 years ago 😂

JudyC26 · 16/11/2023 22:24

I am totally with you. I’m up by 7am every day on holiday. I watched the sun rise every day when we went away at half term. My dh is an early riser as well so we literally make the most of every moment. Never even switched the telly on in our villa.

overfeckinstimulated · 16/11/2023 23:48

You didn't actually wake him up. You just got up and went to make a brew, he woke up, he can go back to sleep if he wishes 🤷‍♀️
What does he expect? you to lie there until he's ready to get up? 🙄
Going for dinner at 1830 and then watching master chef in bed definitely wouldn't work for me either

overfeckinstimulated · 16/11/2023 23:50

And I say that as someone who is not a morning person! My dh is, I hear him get up, I go back to sleep 🤷‍♀️

Homegrown11 · 17/11/2023 06:01

I’m not sure why everyone thinks his preference to lie in bed trumps your preference to get up! It doesn’t sound like you deliberately woke him up. If he’s tired he can go back to sleep!

I can’t really sleep for more than about 6 hours a night so 7am would be a massive lie in for me! If I were you I’d prep everything in the evening so you can just get up and do my thing while he sleeps.

It’s your holiday too!

Whiteday · 17/11/2023 06:59

Yesyoucant · 16/11/2023 21:44

Because I'd want a lie in on holiday that's why.

So it's just avoiding morning that you want to do? You've had 19 hours sleep but don't want to get up? How many hours can you actually sleep?

disappearingfish · 17/11/2023 07:00

You need a new boyfriend. He sounds like a drip.

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 07:35

Well he isn't very well today so no doubt he won't be up to much
Complaining of stomach pains
I think I would of went crazy this week if it wasn't for venting on here
Think I'm going to go into mogan today
I've been told it's lovely there
The hotel puts on a free coach so going to do that

We have Greece booked for September but that's self catering so if he doesn't get his act together -it will be a lot of meals for one for me

OP posts:
ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 07:36

I still have another 3 full days here and the weathers looking nice again
29/30 degrees
I just want to make the most of it
Next week me and some friends are going to Manchester for the Christmas markets
So will be wrapped up and freezing ha ha

OP posts:
cheezncrackers · 17/11/2023 07:44

Puerto de Mogan is lovely OP - we went there on holiday a few years back and really liked it. Honestly, your DP sounds like a real drag. Are you sure you wouldn't rather go to Greece next Sept with a friend who will actually want to get out and enjoy it, rather than lying in bed the entire week moaning? Have a nice day out. 32 degrees sounds like bliss to me! It's about 5 degrees here this morning (although the sky blue, so that's something).

ifitfeelslikeparadise · 17/11/2023 07:57

@cheezncrackers my friend said it's like a little Venice so I'm hoping it lives up to expectations
Well we have already started paying money off the next holiday so unless something major happens I doubt he would not want to come

OP posts: